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Old 09-24-2012, 11:02 PM
 
65 posts, read 105,922 times
Reputation: 68

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I met a woman online about a month ago. We went out once in person about 2 weeks ago.

We were communicating this whole past week via daily phone conversations with a plan to get together over the weekend. At the start of the week she seemed 100% into me.

However, before the weekend hit she said her relative MIGHT be having a party which she would have to attend. I said fine, no problem. However, at the very end of the week she said the family obligation was no longer an issue. So our date (for the next day) was back on. But before we hung up the phone she did say, "I'll call you tomorrow." I should have known at the moment.

The next day I got no call. So I texted her late in the afternoon, "Hi. How about we get together around 8pm?"

Her reply, "I'm in 'Blank' city." [Blank' city is a town about 30 minutes away where she has a relative].

So I replied, "Not sure what that means. Do you want to go out tonight or not?"

She did not reply. So an hour later I texted, "Ok, I will take that as a no. Have a nice evening."

She did not respond at all.

That was the last time we had any communication (about 2 or 3 days ago).

I have NO plans to contact this woman again as she appears to have lost interest.


But I do wonder if I was too harsh in my text messages to her at the very end?

I did not mean anything harsh by what I wrote to her. It is just that we had communicated A LOT and I figured she could just tell me straight out something like, "Hey sorry, I can't get together with you."
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Old 09-24-2012, 11:09 PM
 
571 posts, read 1,201,221 times
Reputation: 1452
That was pretty lame of her. You're right, it looks like near the end she was slowly backing out. But why not be direct? She had plenty of opportunities.

I would say you were a bit on the harsh side (abrupt). Things sound harsher in writing sometimes.

But it looks like it's a dead-end anyway. My guess is she was getting together with an old flame and wasn't sure the direction in which it would go.
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Old 09-24-2012, 11:15 PM
 
35,094 posts, read 51,251,824 times
Reputation: 62669
I think you did just fine so no need to worry with it. Move on and if she contacts you don't respond, she will figure it out eventually. I can tell you that everyone deserves to be treated better than the way she treated you, so you deserve better, keep looking and good luck.
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Old 09-25-2012, 12:49 AM
 
65 posts, read 105,922 times
Reputation: 68
Thank you both for the reply. I really appreciate it.
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Old 09-25-2012, 01:08 AM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,204,354 times
Reputation: 29088
No, you were not harsh at all. It appears that she flaked out. Rather than have the courage to tell you of her waning interest, she just evaporated. Good riddance to her.
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Old 09-25-2012, 03:39 AM
 
Location: Planet Earth, USA
1,702 posts, read 2,324,648 times
Reputation: 3492
She probably met someone else from that dating site. It's too easy for them not to.

What you said was fine. Don't message her. I have a feeling she will contact you again. Let us know if she does.
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Old 09-25-2012, 03:49 AM
 
Location: Lehighton/Jim Thorpe area
2,095 posts, read 3,103,217 times
Reputation: 1705
I don't see it as harsh. She flaked out with no explanation, even though you tried to make plans several times.
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Old 09-25-2012, 03:51 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,068,476 times
Reputation: 11862
Yeah I hate that. When you make plans and she just doesn't let you know what's going on. If she doesn't have a good excuse I would take it as a sign of things to come.
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Old 09-25-2012, 04:27 AM
 
Location: Tha 6th Bourough
3,633 posts, read 5,790,056 times
Reputation: 1765
Quote:
Originally Posted by Corazon12 View Post
I met a woman online about a month ago. We went out once in person about 2 weeks ago.

We were communicating this whole past week via daily phone conversations with a plan to get together over the weekend. At the start of the week she seemed 100% into me.

However, before the weekend hit she said her relative MIGHT be having a party which she would have to attend. I said fine, no problem. However, at the very end of the week she said the family obligation was no longer an issue. So our date (for the next day) was back on. But before we hung up the phone she did say, "I'll call you tomorrow." I should have known at the moment.

The next day I got no call. So I texted her late in the afternoon, "Hi. How about we get together around 8pm?"

Her reply, "I'm in 'Blank' city." [Blank' city is a town about 30 minutes away where she has a relative].

So I replied, "Not sure what that means. Do you want to go out tonight or not?"

She did not reply. So an hour later I texted, "Ok, I will take that as a no. Have a nice evening."

She did not respond at all.

That was the last time we had any communication (about 2 or 3 days ago).

I have NO plans to contact this woman again as she appears to have lost interest.


But I do wonder if I was too harsh in my text messages to her at the very end?

I did not mean anything harsh by what I wrote to her. It is just that we had communicated A LOT and I figured she could just tell me straight out something like, "Hey sorry, I can't get together with you."
If she didn't have the respect for you as another human being that has his own schedule and things to do to at least respond with a yes or no about going out with you that night, then I think you did the right thing. I say why waste time on self centered people like that? All she thought about was what she was up to by her response of, "I'm in _____ city", instead of giving you an answer to your question and maybe realizing that maybe you needed to either make plans with her or find something else to do with your time, she only cared about how your text made her feel or what she was doing without respecting your time and energy to even send her a text asking her to go out. You did the right thing, people like her is what I deal with all the time. It's all about them, so eff em and let em keep living like that. You deserve better than a self centered person like that!
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Old 09-25-2012, 05:44 AM
 
Location: NY
9,130 posts, read 20,015,449 times
Reputation: 11707
No, you were not harsh. She did not show you enough respect to tell you she was not interested. She spent the week trying to get you to back down through her other "potential" plans. When you didn't, she blew you off totally.

Lose her number. Move on.
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