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Like gasoline, when not handled properly it can really burn you.
I wasn't talking so much about sex though as I was trying to make the point that you can have "fun" by dating and forming friendships/relationships without "tying yourself down", since you expressed concern about that.
Again, dating is good practice for when you are ready to have a girlfriend and can be lots of fun.
If all a person ever has is FWB's they don't get the practice they might need at navigating boyfriend/girlfriend territory. Which means they won't be very adept at it when they are really ready to settle down.
Like gasoline, when not handled properly it can really burn you.
I wasn't talking so much about sex though as I was trying to make the point that you can have "fun" by dating and forming friendships/relationships without "tying yourself down", since you expressed concern about that.
Again, dating is good practice for when you are ready to have a girlfriend and can be lots of fun.
If all a person ever has is FWB's they don't get the practice they might need at navigating boyfriend/girlfriend territory. Which means they won't be very adept at it when they are really ready to settle down.
But what if they don't want to settle down?
I mean most people who have FWB know each other very well and hang around in the same circle. Its not just some random strangers most of the time.
What about the person who just dates and dates but never settles down?
I mean most people who have FWB know each other very well and hang around in the same circle. Its not just some random strangers most of the time.
What about the person who just dates and dates but never settles down?
It's not natural to just date and date for decades. Eventually, most people WANT to have a partner.
People who can't manage to settle down (eventually) into some kind of relationship, have issues.
They may be afraid of commitment, have low self esteem or just lack social skills.
Whatever...
My point is, at some point most people will look to settle down. Their odds of doing it more successfully will increase if they've had some relationship experience.
It's not natural to just date and date for decades. Eventually, most people WANT to have a partner.
People who can't manage to settle down (eventually) into some kind of relationship, have issues.
They may be afraid of commitment, have low self esteem or just lack social skills.
Whatever...
My point is, at some point most people will look to settle down. Their odds of doing it more successfully will increase if they've had some relationship experience.
Despite a bit of generalizing I get what your trying say.
But when you say "dating for fun" can't that come off as just treating people as practice which can be seen as demeaning in a way.
Its just that FWB and random hook ups are not new and I'm plenty of those people ended up in good relationships or had healthy relationships.
IDK how to answer your question. I'm going to assume that most of these people who make posts like that are just doing it for giggles but, if its true, then I feel bad for whoever they're with. I find it disgusting that men would even think about having an FWB just so they can f*** someone, to me that's very selfish and shallow way of thinking and is a poor reflection on society.
Women are full of it when it comes to relationships. They want a man who will wait on them hand and foot also be a provider. They want a mans who will take care of their emotional needs etc. Etc. And as soon as he slacks a little she either kicks him to the curve or cheats on him.the excuses being" my marriage has no excitement or there's no passion and romance." Women are just as selfish as men are. They want relationships just so they won't be alone and they can have a man take care of their emotional needs. As a man unless she is truely wife like material it would be stupid to get serious with any women when you can just be friends with benefits. Women initiate 60% of the divorces and pressure men into marriage and also cheat in 50 to 60% of marriages. If there is nothing wrong with a women using a man cfor emotional needs and then there is nothing wrong with a man using a women for sexual needs .
Anybody that has any experience in dating knows that, especially as a guy, one of the worst things you could possibly do is traditionally date a girl.
Here's why:
- while you're taking her out on dinner dates, she's banging somebody else
- looking at her as a potential girlfriend early on makes you far more emotionally invested, which will almost definitely result in you messing it up (most likely due to some level of neediness)
- there's really no point anymore (why spend money on a girl when you could just bang her, then turn it into a relationship at your whim)
There was a time when I had difficulty accepting the truth of the above statements. Once I finally did accept it, dating became far more fun.
Despite a bit of generalizing I get what your trying say.
But when you say "dating for fun" can't that come off as just treating people as practice which can be seen as demeaning in a way.
Its just that FWB and random hook ups are not new and I'm plenty of those people ended up in good relationships or had healthy relationships.
wow, dating - "demeaning"?
Look, when you are "dating for fun", YOU ARE JUST HAVING FUN.
If both people have fun, how could that possibly be demeaning? Good conversation, some good food, some kind of activity you both enjoy (a football game, a concert, hiking, skiing, whatever.)
Anyone who would feel "demeaned" by any of that could always just decline the date.
Look, when you are "dating for fun", YOU ARE JUST HAVING FUN.
If both people have fun, how could that possibly be demeaning? Good conversation, some good food, some kind of activity you both enjoy (a football game, a concert, hiking, skiing, whatever.)
Anyone who would feel "demeaned" by any of that could always just decline the date.
And all those things can be done with or without dating. If you have healthy relationships outside of dating in general you can have it in a a dating and or intimate relationship.
If both people have fun, how could that possibly be demeaning? Couldn't this apply to the two adults both male and female who engage in FWB arrangement.
And all those things can be done with or without dating. If you have healthy relationships outside of dating in general you can have it in a a dating and or intimate relationship.
If both people have fun, how could that possibly be demeaning? Couldn't this apply to the two adults both male and female who engage in FWB arrangement.
Why did I know you were going to go there, lol?
At the risk of starting a firestorm of controversy I will just say this...
In general, young women are not hard wired to desire sex without some kind of emotional attachment.
When they engage in FWB's they are almost always hoping it leads to something more.
So while they will go along with this kind of arrangement, most who do so are selling themselves short and will end up hurt and frustrated in the long run.
The self aware, emotionally healthy young women with her self-esteem firmly in place isn't interested in FWB's.
Last edited by lovesMountains; 09-29-2012 at 11:04 PM..
Reason: spelling!
At the risk of starting a firestorm of controversy I will just say this...
In general, young women are not hard wired to desire sex without some kind of emotional attachment.
When they engage in FWB's they are almost always hoping it leads to something more.
So while they will go along with this kind of arrangement, most who do so are selling themselves short and will end up hurt and frustrated in the long run.
The self aware, emotionally healthy young women with her self-esteem firmly in place isn't interested in FWB's.
No need to start a firestorm.
In words of Voltaire
I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.
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