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I've always been a non-religious, logical person who believes that everything can be explained by science. I have never believed in signs or anything supernatural. I know that our minds tend to pick up on coincidences and ignore the times when no coincidence has occurred. If I broke up with my boyfriend and heard his favorite song on the radio the next day, I wouldn't think of it as a "sign." There were many other song I heard that day that weren't his favorite, and I only noticed when they did happen to play his favorite song.
However, what happened to me yesterday was not really like this.
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. He moved out yesterday. We broke up because we have been having a lot of conflict - constant fighting and lack of respect - for a long time. My boyfriend said he was willing to change and try to work things out, but it is contingent that I am also willing to change. When he asked me whether I was willing, I said I don't know. I have too much resentment built up. So he packed his things and left. I am not ready to let him go, but I didn't feel a desire in my heart to work things out because I have so much doubt about him so I couldn't say yes.
This morning, I literally woke up to find a lizard in my bathroom. And it was somewhere I was sure to see it - by the wall in front of the toilet, so when I took my morning **** I couldn't miss it. I was really shocked. I live in an apartment in the suburbs of Los Angeles and I have never seen a lizard in my home before.
What made it a totally WTF moment is that my boyfriend is absolutely obsessed with lizards. It's not some random thing he likes among many others. He grew up with pet lizards, lizard t-shirts, stuffed animals, and we used to look for lizards when we go hiking. It's his favorite animal.
I really don't know what to make of this. I have considered the possibility that he put it there recently as we were reaching out breaking so I'd find it and think of him if he left? However, I think the chance of that is very slim. He's just not a romantic guy like that (which is part of the reason why I didn't want to be with him anymore). Also, it wasn't a fancy lizard you get a pet store... it was a common juvenile alligator lizard that you'd find in the wild.
I also considered that the heat wave forced the lizard indoors. It's been 100 degrees for the past couple of months in my area whereas it's normally in the 80's. I've had other hot summers before though, and no lizard entered my home.
I have never believed in signs, but things like this is converting me into a believer... I mean what are the chances? Seeing a lizard for the first time ever in my apartment in Los Angeles, on the morning after my boyfriend packed his things and left after being together for 3 years?
I have a few tarot decks and occasionally do self-readings with them. One of the things I love the most about them is that my readings are invariably correct in that, in the dialogue that commences following a spread, I find out a lot about my own perspectives on the situation in question. Essentially, I project what I know deep down onto the meaning of each card. Now, I don't know if there's truly a spiritual guide's hand in the unfolding of the cards, but I do know it's a useful tool in seeing more deeply into a situation. And that's all I asked for anyway. In your case, I'd say the same. You don't have to believe with certainty that it's a "sign" but the fact that you see it as a sign says something. For example, you question whether you've made the right choice. That's a big thing to question, so if I were you, I'd continue exploring the obviously mixed emotions you have until you reach a point of clarity. And then you'll know what to do.
If you get back with someone you don't want to be with because of anything you perceive as a sign I believe it would be a mistake.
Relationships are work, sure, but if you've been fighting with this guy and no resolution has occured, a lizard in your bathroom won't make everything suddenly better.
I don't think there's a right or wrong and I respect if someone feels that an occurrence is a sign. I'm a believer that butterflies signify change. A few years ago there was a huge butterfly on my sidewalk right in front of my house. It was one I've never seen before, especially where I live. Upside down it looked like an owl. A few days later my boss called me into the office and I was given a $10,000 raise.
Two summers ago we were sitting in the yard and a little butterfly sat right on my husband's chest. It sat there for a good minute or 2. Nothing significant happened to him. Maybe the butterfly wasn't big enough lol
If you believe that the lizard is a sign and in your heart you think it's best to try to work things out then maybe it's not sheer coincidence. Things happen in mysterious ways
I often make hard decisions based on signs like this. Whether or not there is a supernatural force forcing the lizard into your bathroom can be debated but what can't be is your thought process:
You're on the surface ambivalent but you automatically see this lizard and think about getting back together with your bf. It's clear, your subconscious is nagging you. get back together with him
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