Why don't WHITE MEN ever hit on me? (college, straight, bitter)
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The term "hit on" has to go- makes it sound like you are a target for sex only...take the advice of the other poster who said you should get into some small talk- enjoy people's company for the sake of company..relax and be human..it's not about getting hit on...it's about really enjoying people..try that and the rest will come on it;s own.
I don't enjoy most people's company for the sake of company. I really have to like you that. I do go out to get hit on for sex target and possibility a relationship.
I’m a woman in my mid 30’s and of Asian descent. I’ve always been attracted to White men (including Hispanic) ever since I can remember. I think that I am fairly attractive, at least attractive enough to get the good looking men looking at me. In grade school and high school, the best looking and popular (white) guys always seemed to be attracted to me. (Yes, I have to go back that far because I haven't dated in ages). However, white men rarely ever hit on me....
The highlighted part leads directly to this...
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC
If all of the guys you like don't ask you out, it means you have unrealistic expectations. You are probably desiting men outside of your "league" so you dont notice the men who DO find you attractive enough to date. Maybe you arent attractive to white men, or you are attracted to white guys who are a too many steps "above" you. Less desirable white men are quite good at dating minorities who are status daters (which sound like what you are) but again they tend to be less handsome and have worse jobs, etc etc.
Blunt but lots of truth.
Whenever I hear a girl talking about the 'popular' boys hitting on her, it's always the same story, that they desire status over anything else. In other words, it's not that guys don't ask them out, it's that the coolest/wealthiest/tallest/whatever guys don't ask them out.
I have known a female or two, one right now in particular, who are very picky, but not in the "I want someone is right for me" way, rather in the "I want a model/lawyer and will accept nothing less" way. The one woman that I know who actually is very hot and very picky, is also a bit nutty, and tends to drive guys away. The others range from cute but kinda pudgy to very mediocre in appearance. Remember, it's not just what one wants, but what one has to offer. It's not all about appearance, but appearance and presentation is a big part of it.
It could be that the OP needs to just initiate as many of suggested. But the mention of the 'popular boys' raises a red flag.
That does not mean anything. There exists a possibility she could still be overweight. I agree that the Asian minorities tend to be of shorter and smaller size but who knows? No where in her post did she specify otherwise.
That's not my point. My point is if she is indeed being discriminated against by the typical white male because she's overweight the likelihood is the typical Asian is far more likely to discriminate against that because they would be the first one to point out she's overweight long before other ethnicity even notice she is.
White men and men in general don't care what color you are...If you are beautiful inside and out...race does not have anything to do with it. I am a white guy and if I see a black woman...who is exceptional...I will approach if the moment is proper and opportune ...a man can not resist beauty...Now if you are just butt ugly and miserable...well- no one is going to "hit" on you...but they might just hit you...
Who posted the fat white lady tossing robotic kisses? What's the purpose of posting this insulting and disturbing image....It is a lot like going swimming in an ice cold lake..
I’m a woman in my mid 30’s and of Asian descent. I’ve always been attracted to White men (including Hispanic) ever since I can remember. I think that I am fairly attractive, at least attractive enough to get the good looking men looking at me. In grade school and high school, the best looking and popular (white) guys always seemed to be attracted to me. (Yes, I have to go back that far because I haven't dated in ages). However, white men rarely ever hit on me. All they ever do is stare from afar and sometimes give me subtle hints that they’re interested. The last time a white guy hit on me was when I was 16 at a fast food restaurant and the guy told me that he and his friend were checking me out, and he later asked for my number. That and in the 3rd grade when a very hansome white boy gave me a Valentine card with the handwritten words, "I Like You" on it. Seriously, those were the only times.
What is it? Is it because I’m Asian and so they don’t feel as comfortable approaching someone of a different race? I don’t think I am that attractive nor ugly to intimidate someone either. For some reason, I’ve experienced more white men being attracted to me than Asian men (if I’m reading them right).
I’m asking this right now because there’s a white man that takes the same city bus as me and I think that he’s attracted to me (and I am to him), but he has not come up to talk to me yet. It’s the same: just stares at me, smiles at me, comes and sits by me when he can , stands at a corner to watch me walk to my car, acts differently around me now, he even grooms himself better now , etc., but that is it. Am I just reading these men wrong or what?? Is staring no longer a sign that someone is attracted to you? All I really want is for this guy to finally just say hi and talk to me. I feel like I am in grade school again.
And no, I will not pursue another man again because the only guy I have ever really pursued shot me down. I thought he really liked me, but that perhaps he was just too shy to approach me, so I approached him. Well either I totally misread him or he played me too well, and I decided to make the first move only to be shot down. I have never done this before. And yes, he was a white guy.
So all my life, I’ve only dated the Asian guys who actually did like me and asked me out, but I’m always sitting at the corner waiting for that handsome white fella who I think likes me too, but not enough to approach me. What gives?
Have you tried smiling at him? Glancing at him while slightly smiling and coyly looking away when he notices you? lol That one's my favorite.
Or just smiling and saying "hi".
You gotta give a guy the green light in some way if you notice him seeming interested in you.
So all my life, I’ve only dated the Asian guys who actually did like me and asked me out, but I’m always sitting at the corner waiting for that handsome white fella who I think likes me too, but not enough to approach me. What gives?
It is hard being a man these days and approaching women. Guys get shot down all the time, so a lot of us just figure it's not worth the effort or energy to face another rejection. I would say that maybe you should initiate something. Maybe when he sits next to you, you should say something like, "I like your shirt" and then ask how his day is going. Make some small talk, you won't have to do a thing after that because if he likes you he'll probably end up asking you questions and you guys will have a good talk hopefully. I'm a white guy and haven't seen any pics of you, but I like Asian girls. I have some pics on my profile. You should post some pics so we can see what you look like. Just wanted to give you some advice. Good luck with us white boys!
Whenever I hear a girl talking about the 'popular' boys hitting on her, it's always the same story, that they desire status over anything else. In other words, it's not that guys don't ask them out, it's that the coolest/wealthiest/tallest/whatever guys don't ask them out.
I have known a female or two, one right now in particular, who are very picky, but not in the "I want someone is right for me" way, rather in the "I want a model/lawyer and will accept nothing less" way. The one woman that I know who actually is very hot and very picky, is also a bit nutty, and tends to drive guys away. The others range from cute but kinda pudgy to very mediocre in appearance. Remember, it's not just what one wants, but what one has to offer. It's not all about appearance, but appearance and presentation is a big part of it.
It could be that the OP needs to just initiate as many of suggested. But the mention of the 'popular boys' raises a red flag.
annnyyhow I think the others are right on about you taking the lead. Its like in disney movies the princess always has to do something to have a happy ending you know.
Or you could give him an opportunity to hit on you. Like start read a book or play angry bird or listen to some popular music (you want to be sure he knows the music... like U2, or Beatles but you don't want to be obnoxious about the volume of your music neither) or just do something that can give him a topic to talk about when he sits near you and you want books guys can relate to or at least know about.
One note about the music do not listen to One Direction... it is like a freaking silver bullet for guys... Bad for us.
It is hard being a man these days and approaching women. Guys get shot down all the time, so a lot of us just figure it's not worth the effort or energy to face another rejection. I would say that maybe you should initiate something. Maybe when he sits next to you, you should say something like, "I like your shirt" and then ask how his day is going. Make some small talk, you won't have to do a thing after that because if he likes you he'll probably end up asking you questions and you guys will have a good talk hopefully. I'm a white guy and haven't seen any pics of you, but I like Asian girls. I have some pics on my profile. You should post some pics so we can see what you look like. Just wanted to give you some advice. Good luck with us white boys!
Do you really think handsome men have a hard time approaching women? She isn't pining for an average man, she wants the cream of the crop and said so multiple times in her post. The OP isn't a cute teenager anymore and can no longer pull the same guys she used to.
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, etc., but that is it. Am I just reading these men wrong or what?? Is staring no longer a sign that someone is attracted to you? All I really want is for this guy to finally just say hi and talk to me. I feel like I am in grade school again. 