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Here is the sure fire secret to telling the difference...ask them if they're flirting while smiling and jovially laughing and saying you were. Judge the response and proceed as needed...
I agree, especially with the part I bolded. More often than not, I can tell the difference with decent accuracy. It's not so much what she says (although that still matters), it's how she says it and expresses it. Although some people are very subtle with their flirting and in that case I may have a hard time. I usually assume "friendly" until I get fairly clear signals that make me re-think my assumption. And some other women deliberately do not flirt or give any signals at all, even if she is interested in the guy.
It's also worth noting that even if someone IS flirting, that doesn't necessarily mean that she is interested in you romantically. Some people flirt just for fun.
This is why I just assume friendly too. People are different and not every woman knows how to flirt.
Usually, for the most part, I can't tell if a woman in interested in me unless she grabs me by the shirt and yells 'I want your babies'...............but..............I suspect that gal was being flirty towards you.
OK, so I just came to the conclusion I totally missed the boat on some flirting signals. I can never read the people seem like flirts (with everyone).
Sample:
My company moved offices. I see the security guard (who is attractive) looking at me, checking me out. He is a friendly chatty type, knows everyone's name in the building. I assume when he introduces himself he is being friendly, so I don't think I am getting "special attention" if he chats with me.
Well I have chatted with him a few times at this point. And basically, he makes a comment every time I go by (to make sure I know he sees me going by). "You can't walk by without saying hi." Comments if I don't use the door closest too him -- which means a better view for him I now realize. And you know tries to add in some physical contact during a chat (hand grab, shoulder squeeze)
Initially, I thought it was more friendly since that guy is a flirt (intentional or unintentional not sure) but now I think we crossed into blatantly flirting territory.
OK, so I just came to the conclusion I totally missed the boat on some flirting signals. I can never read the people seem like flirts (with everyone).
Sample:
My company moves offices. I see the security guard (who is attractive) looking at me checking me out. He is a friendly chatty type, knows everyone's name in the building. I assume when he introduces himself he is being friendly, so I don't think I am getting "special attention" if he chats with me.
Well I have chatted with him a few times at this point. And basically, he makes a comment every time I go by (to make sure I know he sees me going by). "You can't walk by with out saying hi." Comments if I don't use the door closest too him -- which means a better view for him I now realize. And you know tries to add in some physical contact during a chat (hand grab, shoulder squeeze)
Initially, I thought it was more friendly since that guy is a flirt (intentional or unintentional not sure) but now I think we crossed into blatantly flirting territory.
Sounds flirty to me ("You can't walk by without saying hi" even though he actually didn't need to say anything to you at all, unlike a server; grabbing). I don't know whether it's flirting toward an end or whether he's just a flirty person in general. Obviously by your description he's a generally outgoing person.
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And you know tries to add in some physical contact during a chat (hand grab, shoulder squeeze) 
