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That's your opinion, which is fine. Use your opinion for yourself.
When a man pushes a woman into an abortion, it's simple: he doesn't want kids with her. Better put, he doesn't want her and her kids to be his family that he takes care of. But that doesn't mean he's ok with women aborting his child. Bad choices in a sea of bad options.
Put it this way, and a lot of men can relate to this example: we're all fine having sex with the **** but we don't want to put the ring on her finger. A wife, a family is generally reserved for someone special. Recreational fun ain't.
Like I always do. That doesn't mean I'm not going to tell you how it is. You were willing to share your relationship practices with us, so be willing to hear our opinion on it.
I'm well aware of the fact that there are dudes who try to snake their way through life and always stay above the fray. They never get away with it, though. You pay for it in this life or the next.
The golden question is: what would you do if a woman you've impregnated refuses to bend to whatever power you think you've got over her and gives birth to a baby that you wanted terminated?
The only time a man has some semblance of a right to know whether a woman has had an abortion is if the pregnancy she is terminating is caused by him--and even then, it's at her discretion. There is no law saying she must tell him.
So the real question here is: Women, would you marry a man who asked such a nosy question?
Yet you consider it a deal breaker if the man does drugs. Another thing that's between his body and god. But like I said, everyone has their deal breakers and they're not intended to be logical.
No, it's not. It's between him, his body, the law, and the people he harms when he gets behind the wheel, comes home under the influence and beats his wife or kids, commits a crime to get the money, can't pay his bills because he spends all he has on the drugs, goes bankrupt, ends up on public assistance, overdoses, and needs to be treated in a hospital on the taxpayer's dime because he is an indigent--or simply acts like a douche when he's high.
That is indeed a much different story than a woman choosing not to continue a pregnancy. That goes twice over if she's getting the abortion because she knows she cannot afford to feed and care for the child--meaning she's not adding to anyone else's tax burden by putting herself and a child in a situation where they need public assistance.
I think it's ludicrous to compare a woman who has had an abortion to a man who does drugs or is an ex-con. Drugs are illegal. Ex-cons are in prison because they have broken the law. Abortion has been legal in this country for over 40 years.
If you are a man who believes that a woman who has had an abortion is "damaged goods," then you're saying that about my mother. She became pregnant at 18 by my father. They weren't married and had no money to support themselves, let alone a child. This was in the 1930's in the depth of the Depression. Abortion was illegal, shameful and -- if you could get one -- expensive. Mom was several months along by the time she saw a back-alley abortionist, who nearly killed her. She recovered and went on to marry my father and, when they were ready for a family, to have my brother and me. (The marriage ended in divorce, but it was due to his infidelity, not hers.)
If you are a man who believes that a man who marries a woman who has had an abortion or has children by other men is "desperate," then you're saying that about my stepfather. He adored my mother and treated her like a queen. He loved children, too, but couldn't have any of his own. I'll be forever grateful for his kindness and generosity.
Maybe someday these men who are so judgmental toward women will finally meet those miraculous women who not only live up to their standards of purity, but also love them back. Maybe someday they will marry and have families of their own, perhaps even daughters. Imagine being the father of a young woman whom you love dearly. If that young woman came to you and told you she was in trouble, would you consider her "damaged goods?" Would you believe that she deserved to be consigned to a lifetime of spinsterhood because no man should ever think of her as wife material? Think about it.
Last edited by Bayarea4; 10-25-2012 at 03:11 AM..
Reason: Grammar, clarity
This is the most misogynistic thread I've seen on this site. Jokes about "damaged goods", "female logic", and my favorite were the men that smugly claimed that although they have convinced partners to abort their fetus, they would not marry a woman who has had an abortion.
I feel sorry for said people whose standards for themselves are lower and inconsistent with their standards and expectations for others. A healthy, fulfilling way to live would be the exact opposite.
I just wanted to state my opinion and extend my deepest empathies to any women who has had to make this heartbreaking and difficult decision. I am now done with this thread and I'm not going to debate misogynists and intolerant hypocrites who lack the depth of a kiddie pool.
The only time a man has some semblance of a right to know whether a woman has had an abortion is if the pregnancy she is terminating is caused by him--and even then, it's at her discretion. There is no law saying she must tell him.
So the real question here is: Women, would you marry a man who asked such a nosy question?
Exactly. And HELL NO.
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