Anyone here totally cynical about the idea of 'true love'? (wife, woman)
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True love is the stuff of fairy tales. Real love is hard work, it's sacrifice, it's compromise and it's based on good communication. True love implies both people will be entirely compatible on every single subject and we know that simply isn't the case.
I think we can find a partner who is very compatible on many levels, but to make a relationship work for many years, takes more than just a feeling.
True love is the stuff of fairy tales. Real love is hard work, it's sacrifice, it's compromise and it's based on good communication. True love implies both people will be entirely compatible on every single subject and we know that simply isn't the case.
I think we can find a partner who is very compatible on many levels, but to make a relationship work for many years, takes more than just a feeling.
Yes, the reality of "and they lived happily ever after" is because they put the effort in to live that way, not because a fairy godmother waved her magic wand over them.
IMO, true love is an active choice, along with the understanding that every day is not going to be a happy day, that you're not always going to get along, but that you've committed to each other and are working toward shared goals in life and thinking of each other's happiness and well-being, not just your own. The bumps, ripples and disagreements are a part of life, part of any relationship involving more than one person. True love is accepting the person you love on their worst days, not just their best ones.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna
True love is the stuff of fairy tales. Real love is hard work, it's sacrifice, it's compromise and it's based on good communication. True love implies both people will be entirely compatible on every single subject and we know that simply isn't the case.
I think we can find a partner who is very compatible on many levels, but to make a relationship work for many years, takes more than just a feeling.
True love is the stuff of fairy tales. Real love is hard work, it's sacrifice, it's compromise and it's based on good communication. True love implies both people will be entirely compatible on every single subject and we know that simply isn't the case.
I think we can find a partner who is very compatible on many levels, but to make a relationship work for many years, takes more than just a feeling.
adult love is conditional. lip service is paid to unconditional, such as
im getting on the bus with my suitcase now-- but i will always love u.
dogs love unconditionally, spca kills 25 million of them each year.
codependent no more.
IMO, true love is an active choice, along with the understanding that every day is not going to be a happy day, that you're not always going to get along, but that you've committed to each other and are working toward shared goals in life and thinking of each other's happiness and well-being, not just your own. The bumps, ripples and disagreements are a part of life, part of any relationship involving more than one person. True love is accepting the person you love on their worst days, not just their best ones.
I read a quote from the late Anne Bancroft once that's pretty spot-on about relationships. She said something like, " My husband [Mel Brooks] doesn't always make me happy, but I can't imagine going through life without him."
Yeah, I've never really believed in any of that romantic love crap either. It's just another fairytale, like the guy in the sky who watches everything we do.
I think I agree with you.
Conditional love doesn't exist because we are conditional and mortal beings. It's the human condition.
Besides, if true and unconditional love really existed, then the ugly, broke and unemployed guy could get the girl of his dreams. But a simple reality check shows that this is just not how the world works.
I think some people can become cynical when they have unrealistic expectations or ideas of what "true love" really is. Hollywood, TV, books, etc, all like to give us romanticized and fictionalized notions of what true love is outside of the realm of reality.
Then, people go out and "fall in love" with someone. Which is great. However, that too is not all there is to true love (even though they were conditioned to think so by our cultural influeces).
So when the initial emotional tide of love passes, and people end up in real life, they have to learn that loving someone is far more complicated than the rush of emotion and hormones they had initially, or even periodically through the relationship.
So finding and accepting what true love is, sacraficial love, giving, compromising, helping, lots of hard work, etc, along with those rushes of emotions can be sobering to many, and leave them feeling let down because it is not what they expected out of true love.
The other component here, is whether someone wants to do the work for what is really "true love" once they find it. As we have seen here on C-D, it may not necessarily be for everyone for a variety of reasons.
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