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So I met a girl online and we met in real life. I just got out of a casual relationship and I'm pretty much just looking to hookup just to improve my skills in the bedroom. She said it was fine and I went to her place Saturday night. She kissed me and I didn't enjoy it. So I told her don't kiss me and she preceded to do other things. I feel uncomfortable and told her to stop she told me that I never had rough sex before so I'm going to enjoy it. I preceded to push her off of me and she pushed me down and continued to have sex with me. I have been raped and abused by men in the past and this situation definitely brought back bad memories. I want to tell someone that I was hurt. I'm afraid to tell my friends and I feel so stupid for being naive. I am just so frustrated because of my lack of experience and I feel so stupid now because of what happened.
Why are you afraid to tell your friends? Look, sexual encounters can go in a way that we don't want them to, and either party has the right to put a halt to things at ANY TIME during the encounter. You were sexually assaulted - there is nothing for you to be ashamed about.
Please, please, please talk to someone you trust. This is not something to work out on the Internet boards.
I'm afraid of what they will say...for example calling me stupid or asking me why would I put myself into a situation like that.
If they are truly your friends, they will provide nothing but support. If you do not trust them though, please call the RAINN hotline - you will get no judgment there. No one will call you stupid or blame you. It's very important that you talk to someone about this. You had something awful happen to you - you did not deserve it, and you had every right to put a stop to the encounter when you became uncomfortable. You trusted someone to behave decently towards you - there is NOTHING wrong with that. You trusted someone to treat you with the respect and kindness with which you would have treated them.
I'm afraid of what they will say...for example calling me stupid or asking me why would I put myself into a situation like that.
I had a very close friend of mine's son raped just this Sunday morning. A neighbor from across the street, possibly high, came in their back door and snuck in his bedroom. They heard the noise, but didn't find him, so everyone went back to bed. My friend's son, (slightly disabled) was in his bedroom and saw this person standing there. The guy demanded money, jewelry, and when he said, I don't have anything like that, the guy attempted to sodomize him, when he couldn't force that, he made him perform Fellatio on him. After it was all over, police were called and there is a man hunt for this individual. My feeling is, if this, a 34 yr old man, will force a 32 yr old male to do something like this, then whats going to stop them from doing it to a younger person.
You have been raped, you said no, thats all it takes. You continue to be the victim only if you don't do anything about it. Now, if it happens again, she shows up at your place, attacks you, and yo do something, she tells the police, oh, we did this before, she likes it rough. You have to stand your ground, NO, means, NO. Even if you've been with this person before.
I've been with some of my ex-wives before, after we were divorced. I had thoughts, what if?? didn't happen, but it could've.
Im confused on what the genders are at play but I guess its irrelevant. As others said, if you said no then you were abused. It also sounds like it was your prior abuse that is more of the issue at hand. If your still feeling effects from that abuse to this day you need to seek counseling. Do not let this go untreated.
Lastly, I am confused why you wanted to experience "more" prior to the kissing but not after. Was it because you ended up not feeling comfortable? Or you didn't like it?
Im confused on what the genders are at play but I guess its irrelevant. As others said, if you said no then you were abused. It also sounds like it was your prior abuse that is more of the issue at hand. If your still feeling effects from that abuse to this day you need to seek counseling. Do not let this go untreated.
Lastly, I am confused why you wanted to experience "more" prior to the kissing but not after. Was it because you ended up not feeling comfortable? Or you didn't like it?
I'm perplexed, unless you were tied up or handcuffed to something or had a gun/knife to your throat, why did you not pick up and just leave after the first kiss? Not judging, just there is something amiss about all of this particularly when you even said, yourself, you just wanted to 'hookup' and didn't want more than that. There are always more to these stories than in the OP.
Im confused on what the genders are at play but I guess its irrelevant. As others said, if you said no then you were abused. It also sounds like it was your prior abuse that is more of the issue at hand. If your still feeling effects from that abuse to this day you need to seek counseling. Do not let this go untreated.
Lastly, I am confused why you wanted to experience "more" prior to the kissing but not after. Was it because you ended up not feeling comfortable? Or you didn't like it?
I didn't like it, therefore I became uncomfortable.
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