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Oh, wait. Now I get it. You think because the men I've been with say I'm good at sex, I must be a ****. Cute.
As an atheist, I have no religious or moral issues with sex, but I waited until I was 24 to lose my virginity and can count the number of men I've been with on one hand at 36.
Try again. Note that I'm refraining from name-calling as per the rules of city-data. Oh, but I'm thinkin' 'em. Judgmental much?
Being an atheist or whatever has nothing to do with it. Your post made it sound as if you thought that sex was important to you in a romantic relationship. It isn't. If I misread you, I apologise.
However, for some dumb reason, men still seem to prefer those women that haven't been with other men a lot. And IF it matters to a guy, you can claim that there was only one or two and it's doubtful that he would believe you. Many of them worry about the woman comparing them to another. It's that Male ego thing. And if you are good in bed, they'll wonder how you learned and did you get much practice.
If it doesn't matter, then you should have no problem. Like I said....it's dumb reason, but it happens more than you would think it would.
Being an atheist or whatever has nothing to do with it. Your post made it sound as if you thought that sex was important to you in a romantic relationship. It isn't. If I misread you, I apologise.
However, for some dumb reason, men still seem to prefer those women that haven't been with other men a lot. And IF it matters to a guy, you can claim that there was only one or two and it's doubtful that he would believe you. Many of them worry about the woman comparing them to another. It's that Male ego thing. And if you are good in bed, they'll wonder how you learned and did you get much practice.
If it doesn't matter, then you should have no problem. Like I said....it's dumb reason, but it happens more than you would think it would.
That's not the kind of men I date or the men in my social circle - they're generally men in their 40s so they're not looking for virgins. My sexual partners have all been very skilled and pleasantly surprised that I knew what I was doing despite my lack of experience. As my first long-term boyfriend put it "I'm only gonna date women who read from now on."
Sex is VERY important to me when I'm in a relationship - otherwise why bother? I have everything in my life that I need, including human companionship. If I didn't like sex, I'd be cheerfully single.
i think you need three categories, platonic, sexual, romantic/committed/whatever
for me the only thing that differentiates platonic from sexual is (mostly physical) attraction
to make the jump from sexual to romantic requires more intelligence, some humor, sense of romance, some sort of emotional/romantic attachment, and a sense of adventure. usually for me it's one of the first two that would rule a woman out (or just bad timing that i'm simply wanting to be single at that particular moment i am seeing her)
In terms of in general what separates people who can make friends but fail at love... LOOKS!
This is very true. Think of the criteria required to make friends, vs the criteria required for a romantic relationship - it's all about physical attraction (note I said attraction, not attractiveness, but looks obviously feed into physical attraction). I don't think social skills or emotional connections or any of that has much to do with it, unfortunately. It's all about sex appeal - how hot you or your partner find each other. It's not social skills or the lack thereof. Especially if it doesn't last longer than two months, that's definitely got nothing to do with social skills. There is some incompatibility with you and your partners sexually. Social/emotional connections only become a factor when your physical attraction to each other (nature's way of helping to propagate our species) fades, and you look for a monogamous life partner. Which is usually more than a couple of months after you start dating someone.
That's not the kind of men I date or the men in my social circle - they're generally men in their 40s so they're not looking for virgins. My sexual partners have all been very skilled and pleasantly surprised that I knew what I was doing despite my lack of experience. As my first long-term boyfriend put it "I'm only gonna date women who read from now on."
Sex is VERY important to me when I'm in a relationship - otherwise why bother? I have everything in my life that I need, including human companionship. If I didn't like sex, I'd be cheerfully single.
A Clue! So are you saying that sex is your motivation for your relationships, and that these relationships never last? The only relationships that have lasted for me have been the ones in which sex was not the centerpiece. The best situation is if the sex is part of a bigger package. That package might include shared experiences and shared interests, among other things. And of course those things he does that you can't really define that just draw you closer. It takes an investment in time, energy , and emotion. Be honest with yourself; how much are putting into these relationships emotionally?
A Clue! So are you saying that sex is your motivation for your relationships, and that these relationships never last? The only relationships that have lasted for me have been the ones in which sex was not the centerpiece. The best situation is if the sex is part of a bigger package. That package might include shared experiences and shared interests, among other things. And of course those things he does that you can't really define that just draw you closer. It takes an investment in time, energy , and emotion. Be honest with yourself; how much are putting into these relationships emotionally?
Sex is the motivation for having a romantic relationship since I'm not looking to get married or move in with someone (I don't rule it out, but I don't really have an agenda), but I can't be with someone I don't have a rapport and emotional connection with. I'm very open emotionally speaking - too open some of my friends have advised. If I'm not having a blast at dinner talking to a guy, I'm not going to take my clothes off afterwards.
What I'm saying is this: I have a good life and I don't NEED anything right now. I have companionship from awesome friends; I have a good job; I have some great family members; I have interests and hobbies to fill my time. I really enjoy sex - that's really the only thing missing from my life. However, I'm not going to just have sex with whoever looks good - I need an emotional connection and something in common. I don't reject emotional intimacy at all.
What are the social skills that make someone a good romantic partner, and how do they differ from the social skills that make someone a good friend?
I agree with what strawberry said as well. To add, while there are definitely similarities in what makes a good friend and a romantic partner, I've found that some of my personality traits that aren't at the top with my friends have been prized by my partners. So, it really depends on who and what your romantic partner is about and if you share similar values and priorities.
I might be wrong, maybe we should vote? but a romantic relationship must FIRST be based on friendship. Sex will come later. If sex come first, I don't think the relationship will ever become romantic.
Perhaps, it's just that people have different ideas of what "Romance" really is.
Remember, that you can pay for sex. Romance takes time to know and like the person.
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