Are relationships even worth it? (wives, how to, marriage, love)
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I've been thinking about this lately. the emotional pain i see people go through seems to be severe. all my friends are in relationships and end up being used, cheated on, misled, ect. I've never seem them happy. they always keep telling me how they wish they were single again like me. two of my friends are married now and they are depressed and actually have to ask their wives if they can go out when i phone them. WTF? There seems to be so much arguing and jealousy behind the scenes as well.
you only have to look around and see how much stress people are under when they start relationships. My parents were married for over 2 decades and absolutely hated each other. I'm not saying that every couple end up like that, but I bet a lot of had to stay with someone they didn't even like just for the kids and probably regret believing in the love fairytale. a lot of break ups are ugly, too. I'm kinda glad that I'll never have to deal with any of this.
i think relationships are worth it. HOWEVER, i think people jump into relationships and marriages for the wrong reason and should spend more time finding the right partner. And should also work through problems and issues.
Well, (as someone married for 15+ years, and now single) OP is right, but it's only half the story. Both sides have their pros and cons, and what is right for one person is not for another.
Grass is always greener kind of thing....
The goal is to find out how YOU can enjoy your life, while being true and truthful to others. Good luck!
I've been thinking about this lately. the emotional pain i see people go through seems to be severe. all my friends are in relationships and end up being used, cheated on, misled, ect. I've never seem them happy. they always keep telling me how they wish they were single again like me. two of my friends are married now and they are depressed and actually have to ask their wives if they can go out when i phone them. WTF? There seems to be so much arguing and jealousy behind the scenes as well.
you only have to look around and see how much stress people are under when they start relationships. My parents were married for over 2 decades and absolutely hated each other. I'm not saying that every couple end up like that, but I bet a lot of had to stay with someone they didn't even like just for the kids and probably regret believing in the love fairytale. a lot of break ups are ugly, too. I'm kinda glad that I'll never have to deal with any of this.
Wow, that stinks to be surrounded by so much misery.
My parents were together for 45 years. My ex and I made it 13 before he cheated on me, and I still bounced back and believe in love. Although I dated a few real jerks, all of my experiences have made me who I am today and I wouldn't trade them for a thing. I don't want to sit on the sidelines of my own life, avoiding feeling good and bad emotions based on how I perceive other people's relationships to be.
Marriage shouldn't be entered into lightly, and if your friends are miserable, that's not just something that has happened to them, they've had a hand in their misery. The part that I bolded, above, it shouldn't be about asking permission but rather consulting with your partner, because when you're married, you should be partners. You're no longer single, so you don't just decide what you're going to do without any consideration or respect for your spouse.
The goal is to find out how YOU can enjoy your life, while being true and truthful to others. Good luck!
I think you touched perfectly on the fine balance that everyone should seek... I see a lot of people who state that they need to do what makes THEM happy because they only live once and dah-dee-dah... I get that and its true, HOWEVER, you cannot go screwing other people over and being dishonest and hurtful in the process IMO...
The only people who are miserable in relationships are the ones who feel they need to be in one for fear of being with themselves.
The only people who make the best out of their relationships are those who appreciate their partners, but have a sense of self and ability to be perfectly content alone.
I think they can be worth it. People make relationships way more complicated than they need to be. They sit around speculating and holding their feelings in instead of communicating with their partner. Some people stay when they know they should go because they're afraid.
Some relationships aren't meant to last forever. Just because it doesn't last forever doesn't mean it wasn't worth it. It was worth it if you had good times together and learned from each other, it was worth it even if in the break up you learned something and become better for your next relationship. My ex husband turned out to be a creep who cheated on me...but for some of the years we were together we had good times and supported each other. Even though it ended really badly I still think it was worth it.
I've been thinking about this lately. the emotional pain i see people go through seems to be severe. all my friends are in relationships and end up being used, cheated on, misled, ect. I've never seem them happy. they always keep telling me how they wish they were single again like me. two of my friends are married now and they are depressed and actually have to ask their wives if they can go out when i phone them. WTF? There seems to be so much arguing and jealousy behind the scenes as well.
you only have to look around and see how much stress people are under when they start relationships. My parents were married for over 2 decades and absolutely hated each other. I'm not saying that every couple end up like that, but I bet a lot of had to stay with someone they didn't even like just for the kids and probably regret believing in the love fairytale. a lot of break ups are ugly, too. I'm kinda glad that I'll never have to deal with any of this.
This is the price of a highly liberal culture. It has given rise to unrealistic expectations among people. In this kind of environment, children, in particular, grow up without proper indoctrination on how to value relationships, manage them and learn to live with compromises. Upon reaching adulthood, many of these individuals end up confused or hyper-sensitive.
Their is a reason that why so many people are willing to stay single in this kind of culture.
I think relationships can be worth it. People always say you have to work at your marriage to make it last, and I think there is a lot of truth to that. Marriage is always a game of give and take, not sweating the small stuff, sucking it up and not saying how you really feel etc. I was married for 24 years and was miserable at least the last 7 years of that. I wouldn't mind being in a relationship again, but do not think I will ever marry again, or even live with a man. I like having my own place, coming and going as I please, and running my own life. I would be content to have a relationship where we only dated each other, lived apart, saw each other 3-4 times a week and that was it. Don't know if I will ever find that. It does feel very good to be loved and accepted by someone else, and know they have your back.
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