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I m 21 years old and i go to school. Every time I meet someone I like I flirt with them, we get talking, we go out on a few dates (which often end in sex) and then he hits me with the "I'm not really looking for a relationship right now"...only for me to then find out they're now in relationships with other people.
I don't understand why this keeps happening. I try not to push the issue too hard, but I'm really sick and tired of the men I like only wanting one thing from me.
I tried to convince myself to just relax and enjoy it. But I can't help feeling used and degraded. I'm told I'm attractive, funny, and intelligent by these guys...and still they'd rather be with someone other then me.
Is it because they think I'm cheap? Are they only being nice and giving me compliments because they want more sex from me? Should I play harder to get? Am I just going after the wrong people?
I really wanna meet the right guy and be in a good relationship. But i always end up alone and guilty after those guys use me for sex. Sometimes i just wanna be their friend, but they look at me in different way.
i m alone now , i dnt have neither a boyfriend or a good friends.
So, I think most guys your age really just want sex. It is fairly rare to find someone who does not and if they are, convincing them an LTR is a good thing is hard to do. Guys are guys and that is how they are. I suggest if you don't want them to use you for sex, you don't give them sex and if they stick around and can handle not having sex with you, then maybe they are really looking for an LTR.
I actually know the perfect guy you are looking for. He is really religious and doesn't want to have sex before marriage and just wants to find a nice girl to spend his life with. He is always complaining to me that he can't find a girl like that for him. If only you two were near each other...
I m 21 years old and i go to school. Every time I meet someone I like I flirt with them, we get talking, we go out on a few dates (which often end in sex) and then he hits me with the "I'm not really looking for a relationship right now"...only for me to then find out they're now in relationships with other people.
I don't understand why this keeps happening. I try not to push the issue too hard, but I'm really sick and tired of the men I like only wanting one thing from me.
I tried to convince myself to just relax and enjoy it. But I can't help feeling used and degraded. I'm told I'm attractive, funny, and intelligent by these guys...and still they'd rather be with someone other then me.
Is it because they think I'm cheap? Are they only being nice and giving me compliments because they want more sex from me? Should I play harder to get? Am I just going after the wrong people?
I really wanna meet the right guy and be in a good relationship. But i always end up alone and guilty after those guys use me for sex. Sometimes i just wanna be their friend, but they look at me in different way.
i m alone now , i dnt have neither a boyfriend or a good friends.
i need ur advices please
Thank u
Ever think that it's maybe you who's putting off that image to guys... ?
So, I think most guys your age really just want sex. It is fairly rare to find someone who does not and if they are, convincing them an LTR is a good thing is hard to do. Guys are guys and that is how they are. I suggest if you don't want them to use you for sex, you don't give them sex and if they stick around and can handle not having sex with you, then maybe they are really looking for an LTR.
That is a load of crap if I've ever read one, men and women both behave this way because they have been desensitized to the real meaning of sex in regards to a relationship.
To the original poster: If you do not want to be used for sex then quit allowing it to happen. YOU can say NO and if the guy hangs around for a while and gets to know you great then you know he is interested in you. That still does not mean you should have sex after a few dates though, it means wait for a while, let the relationship build and flow and see how it goes for a while.
You also need to mature and learn how to be happy with yourself without having the NEED to have a boyfriend or be dating all the time.
That is a load of crap if I've ever read one, men and women both behave this way because they have been desensitized to the real meaning of sex in regards to a relationship.
To the original poster: If you do not want to be used for sex then quit allowing it to happen. YOU can say NO and if the guy hangs around for a while and gets to know you great then you know he is interested in you. That still does not mean you should have sex after a few dates though, it means wait for a while, let the relationship build and flow and see how it goes for a while.
You also need to mature and learn how to be happy with yourself without having the NEED to have a boyfriend or be dating all the time.
Lol, I agree about the desensitization but the OP wasn't asking about how women behave. Some guys behave that way because of the desensitization, but some guys behave this way because it is just natural instinct - they want to have fun and feel good, but don't have any caring feelings.
1. Don't give it up so soon.
2. Be more selective about what guys you go with.
3. Try shy guys; they'll be grateful for the attention and will be more into an LTR.
4. Are you a party girl? If so, move away from the party crowd, try a more intellectual crowd, nerdy-ish, geeky, whatever.
5. Put yourself in situations where you can get to know the guys first, before going out with them, so you can find out if their character is your type. Join clubs, groups, activities.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 11-11-2012 at 11:50 PM..
You both are using each other for: SEX. If you want someone to take you serious, then know what YOU want and project that to them. If you just keep doing the same thing and its not working, you're looking in the wrong places. Its like going into a butcher shop and asking the butcher for vegan food.
If you want sex, I'm not downing that but if you want something long-term, more serious, in depth, deep, then look for someone with like wise intentions. Approach everything different. At the end of the day, you have the vagina, you hold the key to whether you let a guy in or not. And if you keep letting it happen, I AIN'T feeling bad for you.
That is a load of crap if I've ever read one, men and women both behave this way because they have been desensitized to the real meaning of sex in regards to a relationship.
To the original poster: If you do not want to be used for sex then quit allowing it to happen. YOU can say NO and if the guy hangs around for a while and gets to know you great then you know he is interested in you. That still does not mean you should have sex after a few dates though, it means wait for a while, let the relationship build and flow and see how it goes for a while.
You also need to mature and learn how to be happy with yourself without having the NEED to have a boyfriend or be dating all the time.
You are not getting it. The OP wants to find a guy who wants a relationship with her. Instead she keeps running into men who only want one thing. She needs advice on how to find men who are interested in a LTR. I feel like this forum often blames the women, by telling them they are allowing themselves to be used when that just isn't the case.
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