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Its been about three years, and I havent talked to an old friend of mine since this happened. Id known her a pretty long time and considered her a pretty good friend, but im from the Northeast and she is from the Midwest so we had to plan stuff out to hang out. Few summers ago, she paid for some fairly expensive roundtrip airfare for me to come out for something that I had agreed to do for her. So I flew out there for a week, but I didnt end up doing it because there was some miscommunication beforehand. Needless to say, she didnt appreciate it and things didnt end well. Things were said. I left, and I havent heard from her since.
Ive thought about it from time to time since then. Whether or not I should just leave it be. She deleted me from Facebook soon after that and all that other BS (yes I know, trivial stuff). I feel bad and wonder if I should pay her back. Even after all these years, and if youre wondering why its taken this long, its because I havent had a good enough paying job to afford it, until now. I asked her cousin last year for her address because she moved, and her cousin obliged.
So the question is, should I pay her back or just leave it alone?
Well, that would be a nice gesture. Can you figure out whose fault the miscommunication was? Not that it matters, I guess. It would be a great gesture. Just be prepared to have it rejected; you don't know where her mind is at. But I think it would be very big of you to make the gesture. You should explain you've felt bad about it all this time, but only now have the means to make up for the mistake.
Well, that would be a nice gesture. Can you figure out whose fault the miscommunication was? Not that it matters, I guess. It would be a great gesture. Just be prepared to have it rejected; you don't know where her mind is at. But I think it would be very big of you to make the gesture. You should explain you've felt bad about it all this time, but only now have the means to make up for the mistake.
Too late. I think you should weigh the high possibility this may open more resentment. I also believe, deep down inside, youre under the impression that if you did this, she would reconnect with you. if this is so, stop it right now. thats not happening. move on
To be honest, it doesnt matter. There was miscommunication, but for the week I was visiting/helping out, we were both acting like *******s to eachother. It ended up blowing up at the end, and id known this girl for about 10 years. Despite the faults and miscommunications, its been a few years and I still think sometimes what I should do about it.
To be honest, it doesnt matter. There was miscommunication, but for the week I was visiting/helping out, we were both acting like *******s to eachother. It ended up blowing up at the end, and id known this girl for about 10 years. Despite the faults and miscommunications, its been a few years and I still think sometimes what I should do about it.
Thats the problem though..youre not doing this because its the right thing to do..you want to do this because you feel it will reconnect you guys and fix everything. and it wont.
it shouldn't be a question or situation that needs opinions from outside sources if you really feel THAT bad about it.
It wasnt a relationship at all. In fact, going out places, we had to re-inforce we werent dating. We were both very good/close friends. So its not like I have this underlying lust or anything. Im actually leaving the country soon anyway. I just kind of feel bad about the situation and now that I can afford it after all this time, wonder if I should just send it out.
I wasnt planning on writing a long note or anything. Just sending the check and thats it.
We both are on very different paths and made it clear we arent/werent going to date, I just dont wanna have this hanging over my head. Id rather patch it up than leave an enemy and move on. So I wanna know if this is acceptable, or if I should just leave it be. Is it weird to do?
it shouldn't be a question or situation that needs opinions from outside sources if you really feel THAT bad about it.
Thats why im thinking of doing it, but its the length of time thats passed that im wondering about. I would definitely mail it, but if its been this long, im thinking maybe I should just leave it alone.
Whether its a friendship or a relationship that you valued, you want things to end well. Its easier to move forward that way.
I wasnt planning on writing a long note or anything. Just sending the check and thats it.
I'm not sure this is the best route. A short note, like "I feel bad about what happened years ago. Just got a good job, thought you should have this. No strings. Mea culpa."
Something along those lines.
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