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Have any of you dated a male or female like this? This is the biggest fear when it comes to marriage
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The terrorist, and the terrorist's actions, know no bounds. (The estimation of the extent of the terrorist's "boundlessness" presents the greatest challenge to my work). Intent only to achieve the goal (perhaps "hell-bent" is the most accurate descriptive phrase) the terrorist will take such measures as: stalking a spouse or ex-spouse, physically assaulting the spouse or the spouse's new partners, telephoning all mutual friends and business associates of the spouse in an effort to ruin the spouse's reputation, pressing fabricated criminal charges against the spouse (including alleged battery and child molestation), staging intentionally unsuccessful suicide attempts for the purpose of manipulation, snatching children from the spouse's care and custody, vandalizing the spouse's property, murdering the spouse and/or the children as an act of revenge.
In my experience both men and women are equally guilty of the above behavior, but on the whole, because it is men's dysfunctional behavior that is studied and reported upon, people do not realize that to the same extent women are equally guilty of this type of violent behavior. My working definition, then, of a "family terrorist" or an "emotional terrorist" is: a woman or a man (but for the purposes of this work, I refer only to women) who, pathologically motivated (by unresolved tendencies from a problematical childhood), and pathologically insensitive to the feelings of other family members, obsessionally seeks through unbounded action to achieve a destructive (and, therefore, pathological) goal with regard to other family members.
The fact of recognizing a terrorist is the essential first step. Then, because a terrorist is fueled by a feeling of omnipotence and is prepared to behave without bounds, usually encouraged by feminist therapists who insist that their clients suffer from "low self esteem," pragmatic measures must be taken to define clearly the boundaries of acceptable behavior.
Unfortunately the legal situation which many divorce agreements mandate is open-ended. Certainly, when both parties to a divorce are reasonably well-balanced, it is entirely fitting for the settlement to be flexible enough to incorporate changing financial circumstances, child-care capabilities, and visitation rights. When, however, one party to the divorce is an emotional terrorist, then both the confrontational divorce procedure and the resultant open-ended divorce settlement provide infinite opportunity for the courts, lawyers, and the entire battery of psychologists called in for evaluations, to be used as the terrorist's weapons. In these cases, the court and the divorce procedure provide no boundaries for the terrorist; instead they allow the terrorist to continue to behave boundlessly.
Furthermore, for anyone dealing directly with the terrorist, reassurances, "ego boosts," and consolations are lamentably counterproductive. Mrs. Roberts soon found for herself a feminist therapist staunchly supporting the erroneous belief "All feelings (and therefore behaviors) are valid." Mrs. Roberts is told by this therapist that she has a right to feel and to behave in any manner she chooses, in callous disregard for the devastation inflicted upon the children. Such reassurances serve only to fortify the terrorist's already pathological, solipsistic, and eternally self-justifying perspective.
unfortunately my brother has a knack of attracting an emotional terrorist he just left 1 and is now currently in 1 while still dealing with the evil ex's emotional terrorism. dunno why he still bothers to be in relationship. ugh.
I have seen more guys like this than gals. I've know quite a one gal says she has sex with her husband just to keep the peace otherwise he'd be screaming the kids, verbally abusive towards her, etc.
Telling how Erin Pizzey seems to fault feminism for this and I'm a bit curious as to what research methods did she use to evaluate that it's solely/mainly feminist therapists that are fueling emotional terrorists.
* "Then, because a terrorist is fueled by a feeling of omnipotence and is prepared to behave without bounds, usually encouraged by feminist therapists who insist that their clients suffer from "low self esteem," pragmatic measures must be taken to define clearly the boundaries of acceptable behavior."
* "Mrs. Roberts soon found for herself a feminist therapist staunchly supporting the erroneous belief "All feelings (and therefore behaviors) are valid.""
After reading the first paragraph, I can conclude the person is very seriously disturbed if they would do these things. Certainly is terrorist behavior driven by psych issues.
I never dated one, Thank goodness. Worst I got was a woman calling excessively saying weird things and wanting to shack up after 1 date. And that was creepy by itself.
Exactly D. These are not regular normal people, they are sociopaths. The moral of the story is don't date crazies. It isn't rocket science.
That's good but I think the point is that these people are very adept at changing their behavior so at first they seem like the sweetest most affectionate person, then they bring out their craziness right after they got you locked up. Do you think the wifebeaters beat up their wife on the first date? No, they wait until they have her "trapped" before they start pulling ****.
That's good but I think the point is that these people are very adept at changing their behavior so at first they seem like the sweetest most affectionate person, then they bring out their craziness right after they got you locked up. Do you think the wifebeaters beat up their wife on the first date? No, they wait until they have her "trapped" before they start pulling ****.
From what I can gather from friends and whatnot - there are usually signs leading up to this type of behavior. The signs are just ignored or unrecognized. I have a friend who always dates a-holes. The one time she dated this guy that seemed like a good guy - and he turned out to be an a-hole, too. I told her how badly I felt for her since we had been fooled into thinking this was a good one - and she told me that there had been signs - she just ignored them. People rarely change THAT much out of nowhere.
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