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The funny part is, guys often state that they are looking for a cute, intelligent nice girl (without drama). I'm very kind and sweet, but I am now realizing that I should be more direct, even if my behavior is interpreted as b$&chy. Why am I even subjecting myself to this? I won't give him any more of my time.
Thats actually sad since you just described the kind of woman I am actually looking for. He's missing out it seems like.
True. Hopefully she uses this as a learning experience. I've been in dating situations where I wasn't sure where I stood with the guy but I was too afraid to say anything and my communication skills sucked. A few relationships like that that ended badly taught me a lot though. I think dating is a learning process where you mess up, the other person messes up, relationships begin and end, and you learn more each time until you're ready for the right person and use what you've learned to have a good healthy relationship. At least I hope that's the way it works. I think I'm about done learning those hard lessons now!
I do agree the texting and emailing for dates sucks. Not many men actually call and invite you to do something these days. It's so informal/casual. Maybe too much so.
I'm old school. I would actually call you to ask you out.
I've found that there has always been something "off" about people who don't communicate conversationally over the phone. It's a way of avoiding being caught off guard, because they are either hiding something or are using you as a back up or they have severe social problems. I'm not saying that all texting or emailing is always bad. It's fine for when a phone call is impossible (at work or in a public place where it would be rude to talk on the phone). But if someone typically texts or emails convo early on or brings up important topics by text or email rather than over the phone or in person, then then it's never going to go anywhere.
Think some of you are being hard on the OP. I think she just wanted some outside opinions on this guy's bizarre behavior. And I agree with her conclusion. E-mails don't exactly say hey you're my girlfriend. Yeah she could talk to him about it, but I think she already knows the answer. Guys who value you and want a relationship don't behave this way.
Oh really? That works both ways ya know? When someone is interested in a relationship, and they think the other person is nice and they enjoy spending time with them, but there is one issue that annoys them, they talk to the other person and try to resolve it. They don't stew and brew silently for months then one day go nuclear.
This guy is about to get an email breaking up with him over something he never knew was bothering her. For all we know, he thought she preferred communication online. After all, they met online. Or he may have valid reasons for his behaviour. Or maybe he is a douche that is hiding something. We don't know. Neither does the OP nor does she seem the slightest bit interested in finding out.
Let's look at it another way. Suppose the OP had started a thread saying the guy she was dating and really liked sent her an email out of the blue breaking up with her because she called him too often. And he had never asked her not to call or mentioned to her that she was calling too often. Go look in a mirror and say with a straight face that you wouldn't say he was completely wrong.
True. Hopefully she uses this as a learning experience. I've been in dating situations where I wasn't sure where I stood with the guy but I was too afraid to say anything and my communication skills sucked. A few relationships like that that ended badly taught me a lot though. I think dating is a learning process where you mess up, the other person messes up, relationships begin and end, and you learn more each time until you're ready for the right person and use what you've learned to have a good healthy relationship. At least I hope that's the way it works. I think I'm about done learning those hard lessons now!
I do agree the texting and emailing for dates sucks. Not many men actually call and invite you to do something these days. It's so informal/casual. Maybe too much so.
This is actually a pet peeve of mine, but i will respond. The reason that not many men do this is because as a whole, men are slowly becoming passive like women. I don't know how many times I have heard of women making the first move, taking pics like guys(drawing mustaches anyone?) or any other kind of odd masculine things such as wearing men's clothes to men's shoes. I looked up the culture of the USA and it was classified as a feminine culture which leads me to believe that men are slowly being turned into the passive/feminine one in the relationship. I can't being to tell you how many women I have heard that want a man to be the bread winner and protector, but when it comes to who runs the household, you guessed it...it's the woman
Three months and he hasn't kissed you? Congratulations, you have a non-operative, or Non-Op.
He's either:
1. Married and deciding if he wants a full-blown affair.
2. Gay or conflicted and using you as a beard.
3. Just not that into you.
Go with option 3. It's the least offensive to you.
Oh, and stop using him as a meal ticket. By this point you should be paying for dates--real dates--too, or paying for yourself because you are just friends.
Three months and he hasn't kissed you? Congratulations, you have a non-operative, or Non-Op.
He's either:
1. Married and deciding if he wants a full-blown affair.
2. Gay or conflicted and using you as a beard.
3. Just not that into you.
Go with option 3. It's the least offensive to you.
Oh, and stop using him as a meal ticket. By this point you should be paying for dates--real dates--too, or paying for yourself because you are just friends.
If OP would like to not ask him directly if he is into her, this would provide a good opportunity to address the issue. Next time she is out with him she should say that she feels uncomfortable with him paying since it's a non romantic relationship.
If OP would like to not ask him directly if he is into her, this would provide a good opportunity to address the issue. Next time she is out with him she should say that she feels uncomfortable with him paying since it's a non romantic relationship.
Unfortunately she just sent the its over email already.
Calling someone a troll is considered a personal attack. If you think it is a troll post then you need to report it rather than attack a member
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