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Dear men of CD relationships who struggle to get women,
Newsflash. There is nothing wrong with you. The reason why you can't get women is not because you are deficient. You don't have to get a better job. You don't have to get another degree. You're not ugly, stupid, boring, lazy or sullen. Women in real life CANNOT tell that you are bitter. No way, no how.
I'd like to share a short story. A professor for a class I'm taking, where I got the top grade in the class, accused me of being too serious about the class. So, what did my mind jump to? Immediately it jumped to ... "I'm too serious and boring, that's why women don't like me. I need to make myself more fun."
The other night, I went out drinking with my female friend. And I told her the story and she laughed. She doesn't see me as too serious whatsoever. Quite the opposite actually.
DON'T beat yourself up. Women are picky and you are probably not the most spectacular guy. But, you are probably not going for the most spectacular women. No matter. You're still going to get rejected. A lot. That's how it is. Just get out there and play the game.
Rant, whine, be bitter here all you want. NOBODY can tell that you are this way in real life. Trust me. But you MUST go out and do.
One of the key's to a successful dating life is to ask the right questions. Most men are asking "what does this girl have to offer me" but maybe they need to be asking " what do i have to offer HER".
If you look at yourself from within and try to become the best 'catch' you can be, you're on your way to a successful dating career.
Instead of looking at a girl saying "aah, she's too pretty for me, she probably has a boyfriend, why would she give me the time of day" you need to be saying "i have this, this, this and this going for me, im a good catch, i have a lot to offer her and im always trying to improve and be the nicest guy i can be" you'll have a good head start.
BE the great catch that you're looking for. Women arent dumb, if you're an average (or worse) catch and she's a decent (or better) catch, she's not going to want you. Work on your 'catchability'. Make yourself a better catch and your dating pool will open up dramatically.
Jobaba, I really think that your problem is that you are doing entirely too much overthinking. Women are just people.
Nobody in the real world can tell that I'm overthinking either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wall st kid
BE the great catch that you're looking for. Women arent dumb, if you're an average (or worse) catch and she's a decent (or better) catch, she's not going to want you. Work on your 'catchability'. Make yourself a better catch and your dating pool will open up dramatically.
I'd could list the things that I have and the things that the women who have rejected me have and I have more. Most of the time. Are they better looking than me? Maybe. But we're not talking about supermodels by any stretch. And at least a number could have passed for my sister. What you suggest is what exactly you SHOULD NOT DO. Beat yourself up and blame your lack of success on yourself.
This is of course addressed to men who have the common sense to work on themselves for themselves. It also assumes that they are not being called stupid, lazy, boring in real life by MANY people. If they are, then they should address it.
BE the great catch that you're looking for. Women arent dumb, if you're an average (or worse) catch and she's a decent (or better) catch, she's not going to want you. Work on your 'catchability'. Make yourself a better catch and your dating pool will open up dramatically.
Excellent advice. Probably some of the best advice on this forum.
Nobody in the real world can tell that I'm overthinking either.
I'd could list the things that I have and the things that the women who have rejected me have and I have more. Most of the time. Are they better looking than me? Maybe. But we're not talking about supermodels by any stretch. And at least a number could have passed for my sister. What you suggest is what exactly you SHOULD NOT DO. Beat yourself up and blame your lack of success on yourself.
This is of course addressed to men who have the common sense to work on themselves for themselves. It also assumes that they are not being called stupid, lazy, boring in real life by MANY people. If they are, then they should address it.
I don't think he's suggesting you beat yourself up. I'm not sure how you got that out of his post. I did exactly what he stated (I thought of the kind of man I wanted and then I became that person). It worked.
One of the key's to a successful dating life is to ask the right questions. Most men are asking "what does this girl have to offer me" but maybe they need to be asking " what do i have to offer HER".
I can't offer her anything she wouldn't be capable of getting herself. It makes me perpetually single. Even when I'm not...it's like I'm in a relationship just to be in one.
Dear men of CD relationships who struggle to get women,
Newsflash. There is nothing wrong with you. The reason why you can't get women is not because you are deficient. You don't have to get a better job. You don't have to get another degree. You're not ugly, stupid, boring, lazy or sullen. Women in real life CANNOT tell that you are bitter. No way, no how.
I'd like to share a short story. A professor for a class I'm taking, where I got the top grade in the class, accused me of being too serious about the class. So, what did my mind jump to? Immediately it jumped to ... "I'm too serious and boring, that's why women don't like me. I need to make myself more fun."
The other night, I went out drinking with my female friend. And I told her the story and she laughed. She doesn't see me as too serious whatsoever. Quite the opposite actually.
DON'T beat yourself up. Women are picky and you are probably not the most spectacular guy. But, you are probably not going for the most spectacular women. No matter. You're still going to get rejected. A lot. That's how it is. Just get out there and play the game.
Rant, whine, be bitter here all you want. NOBODY can tell that you are this way in real life. Trust me. But you MUST go out and do.
Thanks for the words of encouragment, I have been feeling down lately when it comes to meeting anyone, but this helped me to see things in a different light. Thanks!
This is true, and this may be why they are so picky at a younger age because they only have a gap of time to fish for the right one. It doesn't mean that the game has changed, but their ability to bare children starts to go away and their mentality changes as far as thinking they look good anymore as they get older and still haven't found the right man. As far as us guys, I don't personally see my outlook getting worse as I get older and am still single. I feel like things are on the upside as I am about to hit 35 this coming year.
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