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No, but I question whether anyone really does this.
My suspicion is that if they've talked themselves out of it, chances are, it's not a good relationship for them, or at the very least, they are not in the place where they can understand that it is a good relationship.
The fear of happiness, vulnerability and the potential for loss. That it can't be sustained or on a deeper subconscious level you may believe you don't deserve the happiness found in good relationships.
The women I'm dating now does this she tried to end our relationship twice now. I told shes not getting away that easy though & in all reality she could just block me from calling her & that would be it. Instead she calls me & says she can't do this anymore.She knows I always talk her out it & then she is happy that I didn't let her walk, Her best friend told me that she can be self-destructive when it comes to being with some one. It's hard to deal with at times I am hoping as we go along she will seek help for this problem. Her step sister is OCD & bi-polar. Not sure if that carries over to her though. In the end if you care for someone you learn to deal with it. No? She knows that I would never hurt her in any way but like you said it sounds like she doesn't feel that she deserves to be happy & isn't sure how to handle it. But it is like you said she tries to end it because she feels it can't get any better.
The women I'm dating now does this she tried to end our relationship twice now. I told shes not getting away that easy though & in all reality she could just block me from calling her & that would be it. Instead she calls me & says she can't do this anymore.She knows I always talk her out it & then she is happy that I didn't let her walk, Her best friend told me that she can be self-destructive when it comes to being with some one. It's hard to deal with at times I am hoping as we go along she will seek help for this problem. Her step sister is OCD & bi-polar. Not sure if that carries over to her though. In the end if you care for someone you learn to deal with it. No? She knows that I would never hurt her in any way but like you said it sounds like she doesn't feel that she deserves to be happy & isn't sure how to handle it. But it is like you said she tries to end it because she feels it can't get any better.
Um Reed she won't carry it if it's her step sister. If it was a half sister then yes. And I am a bit ocd. We need order in our life. Other wise I go nuts lol. Not really it just ticks me off when there is chaos. You have to be an extremely strong person.
Um Reed she won't carry it if it's her step sister. If it was a half sister then yes. And I am a bit ocd. We need order in our life. Other wise I go nuts lol. Not really it just ticks me off when there is chaos. You have to be an extremely strong person.
Nm I take that back it is her half sister after reading your post it hit me that I was wrong. Her half sister is a recovering drug addict though. Not sure how strong I do believe if you love someone you fight for them & you stick with them. Make it work don't be giving up just because things get tough here & there.
Nm I take that back it is her half sister after reading your post it hit me that I was wrong. Her half sister is a recovering drug addict though. Not sure how strong I do believe if you love someone you fight for them & you stick with them. Make it work don't be giving up just because things get tough here & there.
Oh ok. And yes you are right but it is very very very hard. I wish you a lot of luck.
The women I'm dating now does this she tried to end our relationship twice now. I told shes not getting away that easy though & in all reality she could just block me from calling her & that would be it. Instead she calls me & says she can't do this anymore.She knows I always talk her out it & then she is happy that I didn't let her walk, Her best friend told me that she can be self-destructive when it comes to being with some one. It's hard to deal with at times I am hoping as we go along she will seek help for this problem. Her step sister is OCD & bi-polar. Not sure if that carries over to her though. In the end if you care for someone you learn to deal with it. No? She knows that I would never hurt her in any way but like you said it sounds like she doesn't feel that she deserves to be happy & isn't sure how to handle it. But it is like you said she tries to end it because she feels it can't get any better.
Probably has nothing to do with bipolar disorder. Bad past relationship or two, the baggage carries over.
Maybe she was happy in a past relationship but had blinders on, or made poor choices in partners.
I've read many times most of us live in the past and future instead of the present moment, some truth there.
Not to say you shouldn't learn from the past. To be honest though she sounds damaged. Do you have the patience?
When she says 'I can't do this anymore', I think she does know why. Is she open to questions about her past?
Probably has nothing to do with bipolar disorder. Bad past relationship or two, the baggage carries over.
Maybe she was happy in a past relationship but had blinders on, or made poor choices in partners.
I've read many times most of us live in the past and future instead of the present moment, some truth there.
Not to say you shouldn't learn from the past. To be honest though she sounds damaged. Do you have the patience?
When she says 'I can't do this anymore', I think she does know why. Is she open to questions about her past?
We all are damaged to some extent or carry some baggage with us into a new relationship the question is how much? I don't believe that we all get rid of it totally. We deal with it & hopefully we get rid of it as time goes on with said person. Maybe said person helps us to understand that we're worried for no reason at all that's what I am hoping for anyhow. Like I told someone else when she was working just one job she didn't seem to have these issues. Now that she has been working 7 days a week & two jobs it seems to be taking a toll on her. She has always been open to any question & she has admitted to having been at fault when it comes to some relationships. I guess we could all say that I know it was partly my fault that my marriage didn't work out. I'm more then willing to admit that. Do I have the patience? I guess I'll find out as time marches on. But I have learned that you just don't walk away when it gets hard either. I think many people just throw thier hands up these days. I guess I refuse to do that. Am I wrong for that? I might be piing against the wind here but if nothing else at least I did try. If I walk now then I'm not better then others who have walked away. I don't want to walk away & wonder, what if? Some on this forum tend to wonder about that I don't want to wonder I want to know. I did that before with a women from a LONG time ago I don't want to live with that regret again. Right this very minute I go down trying to make this work, I might be wrong or it just might work out the way I am hoping. Either way at least I did try.
We all are damaged to some extent or carry some baggage with us into a new relationship the question is how much? I don't believe that we all get rid of it totally. We deal with it & hopefully we get rid of it as time goes on with said person. Maybe said person helps us to understand that we're worried for no reason at all that's what I am hoping for anyhow. Like I told someone else when she was working just one job she didn't seem to have these issues. Now that she has been working 7 days a week & two jobs it seems to be taking a toll on her. She has always been open to any question & she has admitted to having been at fault when it comes to some relationships. I guess we could all say that I know it was partly my fault that my marriage didn't work out. I'm more then willing to admit that. Do I have the patience? I guess I'll find out as time marches on. But I have learned that you just don't walk away when it gets hard either. I think many people just throw thier hands up these days. I guess I refuse to do that. Am I wrong for that? I might be piing against the wind here but if nothing else at least I did try. If I walk now then I'm not better then others who have walked away. I don't want to walk away & wonder, what if? Some on this forum tend to wonder about that I don't want to wonder I want to know. I did that before with a women from a LONG time ago I don't want to live with that regret again. Right this very minute I go down trying to make this work, I might be wrong or it just might work out the way I am hoping. Either way at least I did try.
Wow...Totally understandable why she's stressed.
I don't think you're wrong. I believe those that are meant to meet... will meet, the outcome depends on us.
Admire your give it your all attitude. Best Wishes Reed
I don't think you're wrong. I believe those that are meant to meet... will meet, the outcome depends on us.
Admire your give it your all attitude. Best Wishes Reed
Thanks! I hope it works out too, She is coiming to see me in Jan right after Christmas that should tell me a lot. I hope.
I guess I missed something. You guys are back together now? And this is the second time she's pulled something like this? You know what they say...fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I hope that you are proceeding with caution, and not giving her another chance out of fear of being alone. I also think sometimes we romanticize the other person...we make excuses for why they won't commit to us, and we think we can be a savior for them helping them fix their problems and showing them what a wonderful relationship is. No one can fix someone but that person themselves.
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She knows that I would never hurt her in any way but like you said it sounds like she doesn't feel that she deserves to be happy & isn't sure how to handle it. But it is like you said she tries to end it because she feels it can't get any better.
I hope it works out too, She is coiming to see me in Jan right after Christmas that should tell me a lot. I hope.
