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People ask for relationship advice all the time, but do they ever actually take it?
I went through a long period where I stopped discussing relationship issues with people I knew altogether. Talking just didn't seem to make any difference in their behavior. They would vow not to take back to that woman who lied to them, not to move back in with that man who beat them, to quit chasing that man or woman who clearly wasn't interested in them. But in the end, they always ended up doing exactly what they knew they shouldn't, exactly what they said they wouldn't, do. It got so frustrating, I finally gave up.
I know that brahmabull seems to take a lot away from this forum and apply it to his life.
As for me personally? I'm the type that might get initially annoyed if a friend tells me their (negative) opinion of my boyfriend/dating choices but then I'll go think about what they said and usually realize they're right and take their advice.
I sometimes think that my friends know me better than I know myself and have better judgment about guys that would be right for me than I do for myself.
I never talk about myself, but if someone points something out to me that's truly negative, I will reflect on the conversation and try to fix it if I see it as a legit issue.
People ask for relationship advice all the time, but do they ever actually take it?
I went through a long period where I stopped discussing relationship issues with people I knew altogether. Talking just didn't seem to make any difference in their behavior. They would vow not to take back to that woman who lied to them, not to move back in with that man who beat them, to quit chasing that man or woman who clearly wasn't interested in them. But in the end, they always ended up doing exactly what they knew they shouldn't, exactly what they said they wouldn't, do. It got so frustrating, I finally gave up.
What have other people found?
Outside of this board, I tend to help people come to their own decisions and views. Basically, I empathize and then ask them if they think it would be helpful if they tried this or that. If they say yes, great. If they say no, I ask them if they have another idea. But 99 times out of 100, it's just me helping them get where they're going.
As for inside this board, I've found that most of the people who regularly ask for advice fall into this category:
If someone is new or from another part of C-D and asks a question, that's one thing, but there are a few people here who either aren't truly interested in solving a problem and only want to commiserate or vent, or are just plain really stupid, sometimes both.
I'd ask for advice on here if it were a legitimate issue not "I can't attract guys" "Should I call him?" "Does he like me" type of stuff...
I find that threads that ask questions outside of the "usual" whining and complaining generally get good responses/incite decent conversation.
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