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Been reading these threads and seem to run into a common theme on here when people are giving other people advice. Instead of saying to go pray or talk to family I mainly see people advising others to go see a counselor which in my world does not compute because most people in my path are like me, lower-income or struggling middle class. I have never had friends or co-workers in my life who have said they resort to seeing a counselor for their problems. How many of you actually talk to a counselor when you have issues? How many of you just tell people to see one just because it makes you sound like a responsible person in front of other posters on here?
I see one myself, and I see no shame in it. Look at it like this:
The parents that show up at parent-teacher conferences usually have the kids that perform better in school than those whose parents do not. Don't know whether it is an issue of motivation, or if said parents realize that they don't have all the answers, or what, exactly.
In the same vein, counseling gives me the tools to address certain things that have happened/are happening in my life. My family is part of the reason that I am in counseling, so it really doesn't make sense to talk to them. Friends mean well, but they may be biased and don't have the expertise to really help. And I can understand why co-workers wouldn't admit to seeing a counselor. Someone is keeping the EAP in business, though.
With something like, say, breast cancer (and no, I am not minimizing it in any way) there are walk-a-thons, bracelets, T-shirts, and a whole month where you can buy everything pink for breast cancer awareness. You don't tend to see the same thing for mood or mental disorders. Many people dismiss the need for counseling as a character weakness and neglect to remember that the brain is also an organ and can get "sick", too.
I would suggest counseling to someone if I felt that the issue was too "deep" to be solved on something like a message board. Something like abuse, or severe depression, or anything else that I really think is better addressed with a licensed professional. I couldn't care less about how it appears to other people; I care about doing what I feel is right.
There are MH/MR resources that operate on a sliding scale according to ability to pay. Someone else suggested support groups, which is also helpful. There is help out there, and no one should feel ashamed or "less than" for needing it.
Therapists are hit or miss. We've gone through several finding the right one for my step-son. When we finally did, it made a huge difference for him. But we nearly despaired that we'd ever get there. The first one was parent-hostile and made a very flip and irresponsable diagnosis and did way more harm than good; others were mere drug pushers; in the end we found someone who both understood him and cared about him and whom he could respect as well. That is NOT easy. So even if you have insurance and/or $$ for therapy, it's no slam dunk.
Therapy is, in theory, a great thing. In practice, sometimes not so much, or just not feasible.
You could say that of anybody personal experience says more then some one sitting in a chair asking you question at $100.00 an Hr.
I've been to hell & back at some point you suck it up & get over it.
Some people can. Some people can't. You gonna tell a combat vet with PTSD to "suck it up and get over it"?
A therapist's job is to ask questions on a wide variety of topics. The point is to open up discussion on various points to get to the root of a problem. It's a neutral perspective - most people who are mired in depression or mania or conflict cannot take that step outside themselves to get to that perspective. Sometimes the problem they're there for isn't even the real problem.
Suicidal people have often lost all capacity for reason. A therapist's job at that point - beyond directing them to someone who can provide medication if they can't - is to guide them back to a logical perspective on their life. Call me crazy, but that's worth $100 an hour. I've got an ex who's alive at 42 after a rather bloody suicide attempt at 17, mainly because he got help he needed in the form of therapy and medication. His parents were pretty old-school, so I guess it's a good thing they went with getting him help rather than telling him to suck it up and get over it.
Some people can. Some people can't. You gonna tell a combat vet with PTSD to "suck it up and get over it"?
A therapist's job is to ask questions on a wide variety of topics. The point is to open up discussion on various points to get to the root of a problem. It's a neutral perspective - most people who are mired in depression or mania or conflict cannot take that step outside themselves to get to that perspective. Sometimes the problem they're there for isn't even the real problem.
Yes there are times where people need to talk to someone & I agree with that but we're not therapists here we're people trying to share each others life experiences & maybe offer a different point of view,
Like experiences have taught me a lot & helped me get over not all but some of the issues I have or had. People like me can't afford a $100.00 an Hr & that's fine too. I would think that some people have no issues & go to talk just because they are lonely much like people who come on here a lot. They just want to talk to someone. I have PTSD do to the way I was brought up & having to live on the streets as a kid but I had to overcome that some people are stronger then others some needs are deeper as well.
But to go to a therapists because much like some go to a Dr because they always feel sick isn’t right then again maybe that's a sickness in itself. The mind is a wonderful & powerful thing & people overcame things long before therapists came along perhaps society has a whole had got soft.
Yes there are times where people need to talk to someone & I agree with that but we're not therapists here we're people trying to share each others life experiences & maybe offer a different point of view,
Like experiences have taught me a lot & helped me get over not all but some of the issues I have or had. People like me can't afford a $100.00 an Hr & that's fine too. I would think that some people have no issues & go to talk just because they are lonely much like people who come on here a lot. They just want to talk to someone. I have PTSD do to the way I was brought up & having to live on the streets as a kid but I had to overcome that some people are stronger then others some needs are deeper as well.
But to go to a therapists because much like some go to a Dr because they always feel sick isn’t right then again maybe that's a sickness in itself. The mind is a wonderful & powerful thing & people overcame things long before therapists came along perhaps society has a whole had got soft.
It's not your life bro, it's their life and their choice to see a counselor. Besides what makes you qualified to tell someone whether they should or shouldn't seek therapy?
Considering about a fifth of US population is struggling with mental disorders of all types, its the traditional view that seeing a shrink is shameful, is what needs to change and adapt. Ive been to see a counseler once or twice, but each time I seemed. To be able to diagnose my issues and solutio s more precisely than they ever could. It felt a little more like a conversation between colleagues rather than therapy session. Not to mention, both women couldnt tell me enough of times about how handsome and wonderful I am, which was rather odd. With that said, there are several posters on CDR who are clearly struggling with psychogical disorders like social anxiety, depression and the nice guy syndrome. Last o e mentioned isnt considered to be a disorder just yet, but we're getting close to it. For those posters, advice to go see a shrink is really accurate. The stigma of going in for a therapy session, needs to be left in the history books, be ause in my opinion, every human being could benefit from such.
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