will you consider long term relationship with a single father who is the following.... (dating, wife)
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I think I seriously need a reality check. I need opinions from both genders. So help me out here, guys.
First of all, I am a very attractive (guys' words, not mine), 30 year old childless woman, never been married, I dont have any children of my own, but I am certainly open to the idea., I have a rewarding career, college graduate, and loving parents.
Well, I accepted the reality years ago that you cannot help whom you fell in love with.
My boyfriend is 38 years old, had a child from previous relationship. I like the kid, but she is spoiled and entitled, then again, which kid is not nowadays.
My boyfriend works for a fortune 500 company, makes a little bit over 6 figure a year, has a huge mortgage. He suffers from a genetic illness and he will pass his illness to 50% of his children. He also is on chemotherapy.
He's a kind person, but sort of a mom's boy. He is currently living with his parents and although he is an almost 40 year old man, his parents treat him like 4 years old. He has to report to his parents his whereabout, and reality has proven he is not going to cut the apron strings any time soon.
His parents are the most pranoid, ignorant, close minded, suspicious, know-it-all, stubborn people I've ever known. They are living with him because they feel they have the needs to take care of my boyfriend. They are extremely judgemental and we don't get along. They never showed me any respect and believe I must have some kind of hidden agenda and try to take advantage of their son. They have this delusional belief that their son is God's gift to all women, and any women come his way already know what she is getting herself into. So no need to give the girl any respect. His mother told me how to cook on day one!!!!
My boyfriend and I are in love, but he is very much of a mom's boy. At this point, I can only count on his health getting better. But he has chronic illness, so chances are we would have to monitor his condition the rest of his life. The illness is a tickling time bomb.. However, my boyfriend has reassured me that his parents will move out when he can be independent. But when will he be independent is the question. My guess is he still has a looooooong way to go.
Will you consider a long time serious relationship with a guy who is kind, loving, financially secure, single father, a mom's boy who perhaps will live with his parents for a long time?
Dated 2 Mamma's boys. Mom will always come first. You may date them for years but they will stand you up, leave early, run out to tend to the needs of their mothers/family. MOVE ON NOW!
I did not get pass paragraph 6--paragraph 6 is enough to send me hightailing it towards whatever direction he was NOT headed in. My answer is a resounding hell no. For what? What's the point of dating a child. I'm a woman and therefore I need a man. Men don't take orders from mommy. Just my opinion.
If at 40 the apron strings have not been cut, they never will be.
I was married to a mamas boy and in my opinion, man and woman come together to become one. They each leave their parents and now they are family. This is not to say their family is no longer their family.
It is to say that now, your spouse comes ahead of them.
I had my ex husband tell me there were the three of us. Him, his mother, and me. Your mother comes before me, I asked him..... he looked at me like I was crazy for thinking otherwise and said of course she does....
Well no one is perfect - something is "wrong" with everyone...
Anyway if you love him, then think about how you could overcome possible problems and if that would be acceptable to you.
So far as the genetic problem with a child, read about that. There are all sorts of tests they can do these days. I don't know if they could be sure that would not happen? Also there is the option of adopting. Think about if that would be ok.
So far as the mom, no one likes their mother-in-law! At least you know you don't like her in advance. Also you have the FULL resources of this forum to back you up with "dealing with her". Could be a bit of fun!
Anyway if you love him, tie the knot. (If you find something good, hang on to it!)
I think I seriously need a reality check. I need opinions from both genders. So help me out here, guys.
First of all, I am a very attractive (guys' words, not mine), 30 year old childless woman, never been married, I dont have any children of my own, but I am certainly open to the idea., I have a rewarding career, college graduate, and loving parents.
Well, I accepted the reality years ago that you cannot help whom you fell in love with.
My boyfriend is 38 years old, had a child from previous relationship. I like the kid, but she is spoiled and entitled, then again, which kid is not nowadays.
My boyfriend works for a fortune 500 company, makes a little bit over 6 figure a year, has a huge mortgage. He suffers from a genetic illness and he will pass his illness to 50% of his children. He also is on chemotherapy.
He's a kind person, but sort of a mom's boy. He is currently living with his parents and although he is an almost 40 year old man, his parents treat him like 4 years old. He has to report to his parents his whereabout, and reality has proven he is not going to cut the apron strings any time soon.
His parents are the most pranoid, ignorant, close minded, suspicious, know-it-all, stubborn people I've ever known. They are living with him because they feel they have the needs to take care of my boyfriend. They are extremely judgemental and we don't get along. They never showed me any respect and believe I must have some kind of hidden agenda and try to take advantage of their son. They have this delusional belief that their son is God's gift to all women, and any women come his way already know what she is getting herself into. So no need to give the girl any respect. His mother told me how to cook on day one!!!!
My boyfriend and I are in love, but he is very much of a mom's boy. At this point, I can only count on his health getting better. But he has chronic illness, so chances are we would have to monitor his condition the rest of his life. The illness is a tickling time bomb.. However, my boyfriend has reassured me that his parents will move out when he can be independent. But when will he be independent is the question. My guess is he still has a looooooong way to go.
Will you consider a long time serious relationship with a guy who is kind, loving, financially secure, single father, a mom's boy who perhaps will live with his parents for a long time?
Opinions please. Thank you in advance.
I was nodding my head until you said he lives at home and he's a mama's boy, oh and his child is spoiled. I would have walked away and never looked back, dayum the six figure salary, obviously he cannot handle money issues unless he moved back in so his parents can assist him since he is sickly. However, NOPE!! Can't do it!
Due to having a friend whose wife died young of a genetic illness, I see this differently. What's his life expectancy with the genetic illness? If it's one in which statistically those who have it do not live long lives, that would partially explain his parent's behaviors. Knowing your child, no matter how old, could die at any time, of course you are going to hold on for as long as you can.
Have you discussed the possibility of moving in together? And if that were to happen, do you have what it takes to care for him: time, patience, and not becoming emotionally drained in a caregiver role? Can you be happy in a relationship in which you may be limited in what you can and can't do because he's undergoing chemo, or this treatment or that treatment?
It also sounds like you have different parenting styles. Can you bite your tongue and abide by how he's raising his daughter? Can you handle suggestions being answered with "Ex and I prefer to do it this way" or "Thanks, but you aren't her mother?" Can you handle trying to talk to her and getting "I don't have to listen to you. You're not my mother?"
Though not discounting it, I think you have bigger issues to face than the momma's boy aspect and have some tough questions you need to ask yourself. Best of luck to you!
Thank you everybody for your advices. To answer your question, no there is not such a statistic showing that his genetic issue link to premature death. But this is a chronic illness, so we definitely have to monitor his illness for the rest of his life. I don't think his parents' frantic efforts to hold on to him is due to his medical condition. They behaved exactly the same way with his ex wife.At the time, he hasn't been diagnosed. I think they are just controlling people.
His mother told me on day one, "Well, you know what you got yourself into. and we all baby my son like this." If that is not the shock of the century, I don't know what it is. Unfortunately, my hearts asked me to stay.. even though my brains tells me no..
This is a woman respects no boundary. My boyfriend has reassured me that he would ask his parents to move out once everything stablized. but he doesn't know when. He said he is not very independent right now, but he couldn't make it without me.
Confusion is the understatement for me at this point. Unfortunately.
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