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I think everyone needs to just chill out for a minute.
That being said, going through this thread - I get hints that there are a lot of people that married/want to marry to validate themselves. Just a thought.
I absolutely agree with this. I am fine with people deciding to marry or deciding not to marry. I'm pro-happiness, in whatever form that may be, as long as they aren't hurting someone! I also believe that someone who doesn't want to marry should not string a marriage minded person along. If they shared their intentions upfront, it's the other person's fault for hanging around.
What I don't like are thinly veiled insults or false assumptions people make toward the side they disagree with.
Very true. IMO, the people who have to insult the others, are those that are not secure with their choices or position and have to put other people down to make themselves feel better about the path they've chosen.
I did this for a couple of years and come to find out around the two year mark she got mad over some silly little thing and went into "the silent treatment" on me for a good four days.
Needless to say that was it for me,I grew up watching my father pull that crap.
I meant to add to this post number 48 I was happy living with her but she kept bringing up marriage and I kept replying that it wasn't for me.Trying to be upfront and honest.
She had two adult children from her first marriage 20 and 22 and I had been married for 12 years and it was fun and all just something I didn't wish to repeat.I think her friends realized I was serious and convinced her to find someone else.She's been on POF a long time now.
I think everyone needs to just chill out for a minute.
That being said, going through this thread - I get hints that there are a lot of people that married/want to marry to validate themselves. Just a thought.
Along with the same tired comments that married people are pretty much all miserable and trapped.
Living together but maintaining your own house. It causes fewer problems in the inevitable separation.
How do you live together but maintain separate houses ... a duplex? It doesn't make financial sense to have two sets of dishes, because the more extra stuff you have, the more it costs to keep it somewhere. If you mean that we have an arrangement where I bring the dishes and you bring the silverware, and if we split up we take our stuff--that's fine. Over time, though, couples will jointly acquire things. If I have to replace the dishes because you broke several of them, that's when things get messy anyway.
How do you live together but maintain separate houses ... a duplex? It doesn't make financial sense to have two sets of dishes, because the more extra stuff you have, the more it costs to keep it somewhere. If you mean that we have an arrangement where I bring the dishes and you bring the silverware, and if we split up we take our stuff--that's fine. Over time, though, couples will jointly acquire things. If I have to replace the dishes because you broke several of them, that's when things get messy anyway.
Either buy a house together while maintaining your own separate houses (the worst option and the more expensive one) or decide in which house to live while keeping your own place as well. You can always rent it.
Today a relative said something to me that rubbed me the wrong way. Basically just because a man may not want to marry he might want to live together. While I know people who live together this isn't something I am open to at my age UNLESS we are engaged with a set wedding date. I have seen far too many people live together for years and eventually break up because one of them (usually the woman but not always)thought they would eventually get married. In this respect I'd rather just date then get married versus anything else. I am not interested in living with a guy nor am I interested in long term dating. For me personally I would give up so much as I'd be kicked out of the church choir and being a religious ed teacher. Living together has a lot of negative aspects to it including the fact you aren't legally a family.
...so negative you guys can be! why is it inevitable?
Statistics are about reality, it has nothing to do with negative or positive.
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