Have you ever been in a one sided relationship? (wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend (dates, boyfriends)
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I've always wanted to start one of these cause I was in a one-sided relationship for 10 months from April 9, 2012 - February 21, 2013. Yes I remember the dates cause on April 9th I couldn't stop smiling when me and Giovany who is now my ex made it official. And the break February 21st cause I couldn't stop crying.
Basically....I was in love with him ( and I'm still in love with him ) while he was in love with someone else but he says how he doesn't even know if he's in love with the girl or not but I think he is in love with her. Why? I don't know I just do. But since the breakup I've realized how blinded I was in the relationship. I would go out of my way to make him happy by doing small stuff for him. He's a big cupcake lover so I would bake him cupcakes from time to time. Whenever I go out anywhere I get something for him that I know he would love.
For my birthday he didn't take me out anywhere so that alone made me felt like crap but for his birthday I was suppose to get him Black Ops 2 but I spent the money on myself at the mall and when I told him he was upset. So I made it up to him by getting Basketball tickets Brooklyn Knicks VS Nets and he really loved them.
Basically I put in all the effort while he was like "whatever"
He also says how I deserve a boyfriend that would treat me like the queen that I am but still doesn't ease the pain that the relationship was one-sided. It hurts a lot. Makes me feel like ****. It's like what did I do to deserve this. It's the worst feeling ever. I'm upset cause it took me a long time to realize that it was one-sided.
Omfg. But what kills me is that since the breakup he didn't seem to give a ****.
But yeah. For those who ever were in a one-sided relationship? How did you feel about it? O: did it leave you damage, did you ever wish that your ex goes into a one-sided relationship to see what it feels like? and do you still talk to your ex? o:
I've been there, you give absolutely everything, and they just soon expect it and get bored. The trick is not to wait on your partner, it's an equal partnership that equal amounts of effort should be put forth by both people! Don't keep talking to the ex it just makes it longer andharder to move on, not to mention the awkwardness there could be if anything happens again, any new boyfriends or girlfriends for either one of you, and not to mention the drama from the circle of friends.
I honestly could give a crap less what an ex does, it doesn't affect me and to my knowledge they don't exist.
So a little background on my boyfriend he is 37 works m-f, he told me when we first started going out he only had 6mths relationship nothing longer than that and he said that he was not always nice to woman but has gotten better.* (Should have been a red flag to me).* So i notice how scared or nervous he would get when I asked for him to ask for time off from work so we could go away for the weekend and I was just asking for him to take off one day also when I gave him 6 months notice so he could save up the money and take off time for work.*
Sorry there is more,* so he is very very rigid about the time we spend together. We see each other Thursday night Saturday night and all day Sunday, i also am 37 and want more from him, so i started asking for more time with him, and it would* cause major fights were nothing ever got resolved, so i was still very unhappy. Because he came up wirh all kinds of excuses like he has to work, so don't i, he would compare how his friend only sees his girlfriend once on the weekend that's because he lives 2 hours away from her, my boyfriend lives 10 minutes away, so then my boyfriend would finally compromised which is a really lousy cimpromise he said he would add one extra night during the month. Happy but it did not solve my problem of wanting to see him more, and you would think it would be a compliment to him, like an ego boost for him, that is not why o asked for more time with him.* I did it because I love him, also he would remind me of how many extra days he stayed ..my other issues is the affection or i should say lack of affection both in public and private.* If i want to cuddle i have to ask, and this is what makes me really sad is we were in NYC and we are walking around and I grab his arm but, he said i kept wrinkling his shirt and then last night i asked for a cuddle he said i have already cuddled you enough in NYC that was a day ago. Most of the time he is too tired for sex and i am ready to go because even though I maybe be tired i am always ready for the Thursday night he comes over so i make a effort to engage in concersation etc, so if we do decide to have sex, i want foreplay and he says we don't have time for that "let's just get into it" which annoys me immensely.* Then I get accused of being all about sex and not getting to know each other* (please i can get to know you after the sex hahaha). There is just no public displays of affection i am just looking for a hand holding or arm around the back, i don't need a makeout session.*
What do people think?* One sided ? I want to break up with him but don't want to see him out with another girl. I say that because we live 5 minutes away. Your advice, thank you so much
Cathy
*
Do not let this lessen your opinion of yourself at all. There are many people on this planet, each with different faces and personalities...it's inevitable that some will be extremely into your particular face and personality, while others will think nothing of you. There is no person who is universally loved. Even the most beautiful woman in the world has people who think she's ugly. You made the mistake of trying hard for one of the ones who thought nothing of you. Don't make that mistake again.
If a man is not making 100% of the effort (trying to impress you, trying to engage you in conversation, generally trying hard to win you over), then simply assume that he isn't interested or isn't interested enough. Remember this: whoever gives more, cares more. If you ever find yourself giving more (in terms of gifts, time, energy, effort), then you need to end it immediately. In my experience, relationships work best when the man cares more. In fact, that is how things have been throughout all of human history, with men lavishing women with gifts and erecting monuments such as the Taj Mahal in the honor of beloved women.
Find a man who adores every fiber of your being unconditionally and would do anything for you, who thinks about you all the time, and who is made happy by your happiness. Then you'll forget all about this. Take this as a lesson. There are some men who will be repulsed by you, some who will be in the middle, and some who will worship you. It's your job to find your worshippers.
Last edited by Immortal Flesh; 09-30-2015 at 10:48 AM..
So a little background on my boyfriend he is 37 works m-f, he told me when we first started going out he only had 6mths relationship nothing longer than that and he said that he was not always nice to woman but has gotten better.* (Should have been a red flag to me).*
Red flag when a guy goes out of his way to tell you this.
Quote:
So i notice how scared or nervous he would get when I asked for him to ask for time off from work so we could go away for the weekend and I was just asking for him to take off one day also when I gave him 6 months notice so he could save up the money and take off time for work.*
Sorry there is more,* so he is very very rigid about the time we spend together. We see each other Thursday night Saturday night and all day Sunday, i also am 37 and want more from him, so i started asking for more time with him, and it would* cause major fights were nothing ever got resolved, so i was still very unhappy. Because he came up wirh all kinds of excuses like he has to work, so don't i, he would compare how his friend only sees his girlfriend once on the weekend that's because he lives 2 hours away from her, my boyfriend lives 10 minutes away, so then my boyfriend would finally compromised which is a really lousy cimpromise he said he would add one extra night during the month. Happy but it did not solve my problem of wanting to see him more, and you would think it would be a compliment to him, like an ego boost for him, that is not why o asked for more time with him.* I did it because I love him, also he would remind me of how many extra days he stayed ..my other issues is the affection or i should say lack of affection both in public and private.* If i want to cuddle i have to ask, and this is what makes me really sad is we were in NYC and we are walking around and I grab his arm but, he said i kept wrinkling his shirt and then last night i asked for a cuddle he said i have already cuddled you enough in NYC that was a day ago. Most of the time he is too tired for sex and i am ready to go because even though I maybe be tired i am always ready for the Thursday night he comes over so i make a effort to engage in concersation etc, so if we do decide to have sex, i want foreplay and he says we don't have time for that "let's just get into it" which annoys me immensely.* Then I get accused of being all about sex and not getting to know each other* (please i can get to know you after the sex hahaha). There is just no public displays of affection i am just looking for a hand holding or arm around the back, i don't need a makeout session.*
What do people think?* One sided ? I want to break up with him but don't want to see him out with another girl. I say that because we live 5 minutes away. Your advice, thank you so much
Cathy
*
You and this guy are not on the page page. He lives 10 minutes from you and can't see you more often? I want to see my gf 5 days a week at least. His friend giving him advice seems like a player c'mon, 10 minutes away.
How long can you put up with this? He's not going to change and you seem to want more.
You made the mistake of trying hard for one of the ones who thought nothing of you. Don't make that mistake again.
If a man is not making 100% of the effort (trying to impress you, trying to engage you in conversation, generally trying hard to win you over), then simply assume that he isn't interested or isn't interested enough. Remember this: whoever gives more, cares more. If you ever find yourself giving more (in terms of gifts, time, energy, effort), then you need to end it immediately. In my experience, relationships work best when the man cares more. In fact, that is how things have been throughout all of human history, with men lavishing women with gifts and erecting monuments such as the Taj Mahal in the honor of beloved women.
Find a man who adores every fiber of your being unconditionally and would do anything for you, who thinks about you all the time, and who is made happy by your happiness. Then you'll forget all about this. Take this as a lesson.
He doesn't want to see you more than he already does. If you have to fight to try and force more time together..... what do you gain if you win that point? You have forced him to see you more than he wants.
Arguing this is a lose/lose for you. I know it hurts, but you need to let him go. You are not on the same page when it comes to this relationship.
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So a little background on my boyfriend he is 37 works m-f, he told me when we first started going out he only had 6mths relationship nothing longer than that and he said that he was not always nice to woman but has gotten better.* (Should have been a red flag to me).* So i notice how scared or nervous he would get when I asked for him to ask for time off from work so we could go away for the weekend and I was just asking for him to take off one day also when I gave him 6 months notice so he could save up the money and take off time for work.*
Sorry there is more,* so he is very very rigid about the time we spend together. We see each other Thursday night Saturday night and all day Sunday, i also am 37 and want more from him, so i started asking for more time with him, and it would* cause major fights were nothing ever got resolved, so i was still very unhappy. Because he came up wirh all kinds of excuses like he has to work, so don't i, he would compare how his friend only sees his girlfriend once on the weekend that's because he lives 2 hours away from her, my boyfriend lives 10 minutes away, so then my boyfriend would finally compromised which is a really lousy cimpromise he said he would add one extra night during the month. Happy but it did not solve my problem of wanting to see him more, and you would think it would be a compliment to him, like an ego boost for him, that is not why o asked for more time with him.* I did it because I love him, also he would remind me of how many extra days he stayed ..my other issues is the affection or i should say lack of affection both in public and private.* If i want to cuddle i have to ask, and this is what makes me really sad is we were in NYC and we are walking around and I grab his arm but, he said i kept wrinkling his shirt and then last night i asked for a cuddle he said i have already cuddled you enough in NYC that was a day ago. Most of the time he is too tired for sex and i am ready to go because even though I maybe be tired i am always ready for the Thursday night he comes over so i make a effort to engage in concersation etc, so if we do decide to have sex, i want foreplay and he says we don't have time for that "let's just get into it" which annoys me immensely.* Then I get accused of being all about sex and not getting to know each other* (please i can get to know you after the sex hahaha). There is just no public displays of affection i am just looking for a hand holding or arm around the back, i don't need a makeout session.*
What do people think?* One sided ? I want to break up with him but don't want to see him out with another girl. I say that because we live 5 minutes away. Your advice, thank you so much
Cathy
*
Yeah I've been in a one sided relationship. It was actually me who wasn't in love and the guy was head over heels. Long story short, we had a friends with benefits arrangment going on that led to something more... passionate. He dropped the L-bomb on me while I wanted to take things slow. A couple of months into the new year he wanted to marry me but I turned him down and broke up our messy love affair. It was for the best, honestly. We were on two different pages and it felt so unrequited. He was an interesting man, however. He was by far the best I dated in awhile. He was cultured, savvy, and a romantic. I like to think things could have worked out between us... then again we both had baggage too heavy to deal with at the time.
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c'mon, 10 minutes away.
