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Unattractive isn't good either, but that can go hand in hand with shyness. If you won't let anyone in it's going to be hard to meet anyone whether you're a man or woman.
Shyness in men is not equal to not letting someone in. Back when I was a student, a woman I worked with hit on me and we had a great time together for about a year. She knocked and I let her in. But my shyness kept me from making the first move.
As for rejection, that's a very easy thing for you to say. Yes, we know there's many other women out there but for some men, the more one gets rejected, the less apt they are willing to try with anyone else. There's only so many times one can take rejection and look as if nothing is wrong, but trust me, it can bother some people. Its never fun going through that. And of course some rejections are for the best too, there's just too many variables.
Exactly! Most people can handle a handful of polite rejections with relative ease, but when it's constant rejection over many years, or when a woman is rude and insulting about it, rejection can become a traumatic experience. People who have not been through rejection to this degree just don't understand what it's like. For those of you who have not been through this type of rejection, count your blessings. It is not fun!
Being shy just isn't an attractive masculine trait it's that simple. Being shy for a man is like being a tomboy for a girl. It's cute until about 15,then it gets a lil weird.
But again this is CD where women are sleeping with shy lonely nerds who stay in their mothers basements on Saturday nights nonstop lol
You can't be shy and confident at the same time. Shyness is a lack of confidence.
You can be quiet and confident at the same time, though. Some people project false confidence and think being the loudest in the room means they're the most confident. It's not. You can be reserved and confident individual who is never afraid to speak out when they feel like it.
Also, don't take rejection so personally. So what if one woman rejects you? Is she the only female in the world? Take it gracefully and move on the next one. NEVER let someone's words keep you down.
Yes you can, the two aren't necessarily related.
Would you say that these famous people lacked confidence?
Nothing hurts a man's chances more than being shy. You can be a criminal, unemployed, violent, abusive, rude, or have a string of mothers hounding you for child support.... you can be any of these things you and will still get women. Guarantee it.
But if you're shy, you really won't get anywhere. Men need to realize this and accept they have two choices: either stay shy and never get dates; or, gain confidence and start going after what you want. Every single one of my friends who complain they can't get women never try. They expect it to just fall in their lap. When you're looking for a job you don't get employers approaching you. You have to get out there and search for it. If you get rejected, you try again.
Women HATE shyness in men. Not all of them will admit this though. But trust me, they do. Maybe it's subconscious, but they definitely are repulsed by it. So if there's one thing you don't want to be, it's shy.
If you're a middle-aged $8/hr guy, how can you have genuine confidence? (I would be suspicious, and dismiss it as self-delusion or arrogance.)
And how many women are going to be interested in a middle-aged $8/hr guy without a car?
You're probably right. I've only lived on this planet for over 6 decades and on two continents and with friends all over the world so obviously I don't have your vast experience in and knowledge of such matters.
Women HATE shyness in men. Not all of them will admit this though. But trust me, they do. Maybe it's subconscious, but they definitely are repulsed by it. So if there's one thing you don't want to be, it's shy.
Absolutely incorrect. If the male is shy, nerdy, and can't carry a conversation, then yes. When I was in college, a few guys were sought after and girls said "but they're shy." They weren't socially phobic, just reserved and short on words, from what I could tell. Women wanted to get to know them, and were doing all the work.
If you're a middle-aged $8/hr guy, how can you have genuine confidence? (I would be suspicious, and dismiss it as self-delusion or arrogance.)
And how many women are going to be interested in a middle-aged $8/hr guy without a car?
The only chance a person has in this situation is dating someone on the same level. Even then you are correct that it won't be easy but you will have a shot.
But reverse it for me and I don't care. I have a job and my own money. Don't ask me for any (well, sometimes may be okay as I am not a selfish person) and there will be no problems.
Where I live an $8.00 an hour salary will pay for half the rent and have some left over after other expenses like food. I live modestly but I do have a nice apartment in a good area. I have no desire for fancy cars, exotic vacations, or an expensive home or apartment. Even if I did strike it rich I would live modestly.
But one should be able to get up to at least $10.00 an hour. That in itself may help with the confidence part.
I've read this time and time again from some women that post here that they want nothing to do with a guy unless he is earning at least the same as she is but preferably more. I realize that times are tough and many have taken a hit in recent years but it is apparent that this doesn't matter to many.
Just yesterday I was taken aback by a post regarding mens earning power and how important it is. It got me to thinking I must be in the minority and/or men in general put a much lower emphasis on a potential partners earning power.
I think it's not necessarily that SHYNESS is the issue. I think shyness CAN be a symptom of lacking the courage of your convictions. Do you do what you think is right or what you want to do, no matter what the opinions of the others around you are? Are you strong enough to buck the trend or speak up when you see something you don't like? If you have something you want to do, are you going to do it, even if other people might laugh at you or look down on you?
Are you brave enough to put yourself out there? Are you fearless enough to expose yourself to mockery, censure or derision? Is it the opinions of others who matter the most to you or is it all about whether you're living by the values you believe in?
As fleetiebelle points out, there are introverts who simply aren't outgoing - it's just not their thing. Then there are people who are so terrified by what other people think they won't do anything that could draw attention to themselves.
I'm awkward and goofy by nature - I could never be with a guy who was terrified of being embarrassed. Actually, I was with someone like that. I found myself pruning away my personality so that I could fit in his comfort zones. It took a long time after our breakup for me to remember what it was like to be me.
So yeah, shy can be a dealbreaker for a lot of women, but maybe not for the reasons you'd think.
Ah yes another thread where shyness is a disease that needs to be cured by an overinflated definition of confidence. I thought people were more dynamic than that but boy was I wrong.
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