Hello everyone,
If some of you remember from this
thread , I crossed paths with someone very compatible with me.
We've been dating since June 6th, 2012.... Almost 8 months in a few days.
The relationship as a whole has been absolutely fabulous. I've never told a girlfriend that I love them, she was my first.
She's a nursing student in her last semester of studies, and has been pretty busy and stressed out. I totally understand; I went through a grueling 4 year BSN program.... Life DOES suck.
But the good thing is, I totally understand. I GET that I can't see her like I used to. I understand that there will be a string of days where she's busy and all we'll do is call/text each other. I GET that she's got a lot on her plate with school AND work.
But it seems like since November, things have been taking a turn for the worse. The simple things we used to do seemed to be a struggle.
Whether it was sparking up a conversation, trying to hold hands in public, or even sex... It just seemed like it was harder to accomplish because she was busy (including myself as my long 12 hour days seem to always be opposite of her days off).
But last week, things really did take a turn for the ugly...
I got a text at work that said "I need to talk to you..."
I thought to myself, oh crap.
She pretty much texted me saying that some of her nursing peers (who are students on my unit and who I help precept) have been saying that I was going behind her back with other girls that they know..
And THAT statement, is absolute HORSE 'ish.
I am NOT unfaithful, and have NOT done ANYTHING like that. I am NOT a cheater. I LOVE my girlfriend, and wouldn't even do anything like that to her, or anyone else.
I told her that, and she understood saying something along the lines of "Yeah, I know you wouldn't do that, but just hearing that stresses me out even more. I'm tired of school and am so freaking stressed that I can't taken anything else in like that because it'll make me even more crazy."
Now believe me, I kept pointing out why they would even say something like that... and I told her I'd call her once I got off work.
Called her later that night and we cleared up that 'cheating' issue, but she kept saying how stressed out she was and that she's had some bad clinical days, bad instructors, and even some unsatisfactory paperwork returned to her.
To make a long story short, she pretty much stated that she thinks a break would be a good idea until she gets school figured out.
I told her I understood what she was going through, I went through the same thing.
But she was worried that I wasn't happy because I never get to see her like I used too... and the stress of school and the stress of worrying about me being unhappy is too much for her to bear.
I must have told her 100 times that I understood, and that a FINAL semester of not seeing much of her is totally worth the outcome of what could happen with us in the future!
But she also made the point that she didn't know anything else to do, and that she just needed a break.
I told her that when two people love each other (like we've repeatedly said over our 8months), you just don't give up or take a break... you work THROUGH it together. It's all part of the relationship.
So I pretty much asked "are we in a relationship or are we single", and she said single, but she still loves me this and that and that she doesn't want this to be forever but she just needs to get things straightened out.
I'm literally SHAKING typing this btw.... I love this girl, and hearing this I feel like she doesn't love me anymore. She texted she doesn't want us to go in different ways... but isn't she?
It's like she wants me to be on call and there for her when things settle down... but I think that's stupid!??
I'm so lost right now.
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