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You have to decide what is best for you and what you want out of a relationship. When my husband and I are stressed out - we turn to each other. Even in the worst of times - we have been there for each other and helped each other. He makes me feel better and I do the same for him. I couldn't be with someone who pushed me away. I know myself too well - that wouldn't work for me. For other people - it might be fine. I understand that she is having a hard time right now - and maybe she needs her space. If you are comfortable giving her space - then do it. If you need to be with someone that won't push you away - then do what you have to do.
This is terrible advice. If the OP tells this to the woman, he is basically giving her carte blanche to treat him in whatever way she sees fit based on her whim of the moment.
Nope. If the OP's account is correct, this is an immature girl we're talking about, someone who doesn't think twice about playing games with someone's affections. She might not be doing this intentionally, but she's still doing it.
It's not terrible advice, it's just a completely different perspective on the situation. You're a man and do not and have not been subject to hormonal swings that can exacerbate stress.
This is not dog training school. There are gray areas in relationships. There are also times when it is very important not to overreact.
I agree that the gf's behabior is immature and a little nutso. I just don't agree that it's undeniably a permanent problem. The OP will not rescue this relationship by cutting her off. That ends things.
However, if she continues her behavior after she finishes school, then her window of opportunity is closed.
Any ideas? Should I reach out to her or just stay silent?
It's up to you. I'd probably move on. I couldn't deal with a relationship like that. But if you want to wait it out and see what happens - you can do that.
I asked my boyfriend for a break once. He said either we are together or we arent, theres no breaks. So I took it back and said I didnt want a break. We are now married with a beautiful baby. My point is, he didnt take my bullsh*t. He didnt let me play games or think about what I wanted while he waited around for me. And when he put me on the spot like that, I didnt have time to think, and I chose what I really wanted. Obviously if I was leaning more toward a break up, I would have just taken that opportunity to end it or said we were single, just like your gf did, but I loved him so much and was just being stupid. So glad he made me choose.
Last edited by crunchymama192; 02-20-2013 at 09:27 PM..
So I pretty much asked "are we in a relationship or are we single", and she said single, but she still loves me this and that and that she doesn't want this to be forever but she just needs to get things straightened out.
I'm literally SHAKING typing this btw.... I love this girl, and hearing this I feel like she doesn't love me anymore. She texted she doesn't want us to go in different ways... but isn't she?
When she answered 'single', she risked losing you forever and was okay with it. You have let her walk all over you and you cant do that anymore, this is one of the situations where an ultimatum is appropriate.
I asked my boyfriend for a break once. He said either we are together or we arent, theres no breaks. So I took it back and said I didnt want a break. We are now married with a beautiful baby. My point is, he didnt take my bullsh*t. He didnt let me play games or think about what I wanted while he waited around for me. And when he put me on the spot like that, I didnt have time to think, and I chose what I really wanted. Obviously if I was leaning more toward a break up, I would have just taken that opportunity to end it or said we were single, just like your gf did, but I loved him so much and was just being stupid. So glad he made me choose.
I feel like I should be that direct. I was thinking when I told her that people just don't take breaks... stress, financial issues, death, etc... Couples work THROUGH problems.
Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchymama192
When she answered 'single', she risked losing you forever and was okay with it. You have let her walk all over you and you cant do that anymore, this is one of the situations where an ultimatum is appropriate.
I don't know what to do anymore, honestly. I really really have strong feelings for this one. I hate how all of a sudden this crap happened. I wish we could go back to December or something and prevent this from happening.
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