Marriage - I don't get this... (sex, partner, percentage, looking)
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That's true. I think there's also a widespread trend, especially among men, of talking about marriage negatively. Many men learn to dread marriage, associating it with the end of their youth, the loss of their freedom and dread financial ruin in the case of divorce.
I don't think it's a "trend", but more so, young men are wising up and realizing that marriage is not all that it's cracked up to be, it's financial suicide, and that they don't see any benefit in it for THEM. And just so you know, this is not going on just here in America, but in Japan there is a whole movement of young men who are refusing to get married. They have my FULL BLESSING!
My guess is that they're afraid that people will get married and actually be happy..then they'll have to come to the realization that they may have missed out on something.
+10. And remember this Forum is over-representated by people of both genders who despise the opposite sex because they have constantly been:
1. Ignored their whole lives by the opposite sex
2. Chosen the WRONG people and been cheated upon, abused, etc.
The vast majority of people I know love the opposite sex because they weren't dumb enough or needy enough to endlessly pick losers and then blame them. Look inward.
So here's what I don't get. Why are so many people so anti-marriage to the point that they think that nobody should ever get married and they can't wait for it to die out (which I highly doubt it will). I understand not wanting to get married - I really do. We all want different things out of life. But while I don't think that EVERYONE should get married - I don't understand why some people seem to think that NOBODY should get married. Why not just do what's best for you and let others do what's best for them? Some people really love being married. I don't see what the big deal is. Can anyone explain all the hatred about something that is not mandatory?
I don't believe in marriage, but certainly don't look at anyone who is married differently at all. To think that NO ONE or EVERY ONE should be married is stupid and immature.
Why do some people think that way? Dunno... people behave in ways that make sense to them. I personally don't belive in mutli thousand dollar parties (wedding), a piece of paper, and a ring to show you're commited to someone. If you do, that's great. I will not think any differently of you.
I'm not sure C-D is a good representation because the most anti marriage people I have ever seen have been people previously married and gotten screwed. Most of the never married people I know are either desperate to marry or assume they never will (but would like to).
I don't think it's a "trend", but more so, young men are wising up and realizing that marriage is not all that it's cracked up to be, it's financial suicide, and that they don't see any benefit in it for THEM. And just so you know, this is not going on just here in America, but in Japan there is a whole movement of young men who are refusing to get married. They have my FULL BLESSING!
"Trend" probably is the wrong word. But to suggest marriage is automatically "financial suicide" is the kind of negativity I was talking about.
First, Divorce can be financially disastrous. However, it is often equally disastrous for women, sometimes more so. I work in family law and see it all the time.
Second, marriage brings many financial advantages people never even think about. For example, in many states, married couples can take possession of their primary residence under a rule called tenancy in the entirety. What that does, in a nutshell, is forbid creditors from forcing a married couple to sell their home tp pay off debt. That is a HUGE advantage many people are unaware of.
So here's what I don't get. Why are so many people so anti-marriage to the point that they think that nobody should ever get married and they can't wait for it to die out (which I highly doubt it will). I understand not wanting to get married - I really do. We all want different things out of life. But while I don't think that EVERYONE should get married - I don't understand why some people seem to think that NOBODY should get married. Why not just do what's best for you and let others do what's best for them? Some people really love being married. I don't see what the big deal is. Can anyone explain all the hatred about something that is not mandatory?
The communists really knew how to destroy a culture.
I think marriage is a good thing, overall. Of course, it can also be bad, and divorce is rarely good for anyone. Most marriages - even those that eventually fail - often have some very good years. Those may make it worthwhile. For that 10%-20% (based on a study of married couples together over 20 years) that really do last and are happy, marriage is a wonderful thing.
I do think the laws are biased in favor of women when a divorce occurs, though. Even so, and even after a long but unpleasant marriage and a difficult divorce, I remarried. This time, I was very careful about WHO I married, making sure we truly are compatible and not rushing into anything. After 13 years together, I know I chose wisely this time, and am happy to be married. I don't think most people choose carefully, and when you're young, you don't really know how. I think people contemplating a first marriage should be triply careful and take a long time dating and maybe living together before deciding. Some people need a starter marriage or two to learn, and some never learn. Some are too badly hurt to trust marriage again, and that's probably a good decision for them, even though they may lose a chance to see the good side.
People are scared of commitment. That probably explains a lot of issues.
I think I'd make a half-decent husband, and I'm not afraid of commitment or marriage lol.
I think another issue that comes up is the single parent being scared to commit to a childless person. I've seen that a bit more in my geographical region and it doesn't always make sense. I know a lot of single people, just like myself, who have just been doing their own thing for so long that they have found content in it. You can only try so long to accomodate someone else in your life before you just get tired of accomodating. I've seen this more with single people rapidly approaching 30. These are single people I know that have a job, car, home, college degree, managable debt, and an overall good outlook on life. We are all friends and decided years ago that we would be better off friends, but we all want to find that special someone too. We have all agreed that it's only going to get harder, because we have been building so much of our own lives by ourselves....
My grandfather told my father this many eons ago: "If you have to pick up a rock pick one up that you can carry yourself because if you pick up a rock that you need help carrying and he gets tired he can drop that rock on you." There's truth to this IMO and it goes with your question if one understands its meaning.
Your gampy had it wrong.
Pick one up you can carry yourself, but when you find someone who can help you carry it, it will be like you have no load to bear at all.
1. Sour grapes. Some people believe they won't get a good catch (or can't) and they want to malign everyone else for being desirable enough to have found long-term companions who will pledge their lives to them. Better just be bitter and act like you don't want it than admit you might not be worth loving.
2. Peter Pan syndrome. Some people want to find an excuse to live with no responsibilities (to themselves or other people), to have sex with whomever they want, to move about life with no 'restrictions' (while unable to admit that some marriages pose no restrictions and actually help people achieve their dreams), etc, etc. It's ME ME ME ME ME ME and if I act like the institution sucks, you won't think I'm not into it because I want to act like an adolescent all my life.
I kind of share the sentiment that marriage is dying out and I don't really care one way or another, because it's no one's business (certainly not the government's) how two people decide to form a relationship or spend their lives. And some people are just not suited for marriage...and that's ok.
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