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So men would you date a woman who had abortions or would it depend? women would you date men who caused an ex to abort? would it vary? I know for women it's a bit different especially if she became pregnant due to rape or incest (knew a classmate who had an abortion after becoming pregnant by her dad). I might date a man who had no say in his ex's abortion but not a man who forced his ex to abort because my experience has shown is they would do the same to me.
This is a tough one, for me to answer... I want to say that I would date a woman who has had an abortion, if for no other reason than trying to be a compassionate and non-judgmental human being. On the other hand, since I am also pro-life, the act of the abortion itself (but not the woman herself, though) raises some troubling moral qualms for me. Then again...who am I, to judge another human being? "Judge not, lest ye be judged"...and so I guess I don't really have a fully-formed answer, to this one...
I didn't want to make it the issue itself (which can be flameworthy)but so many people are callous about it. I went on a date once with this guy bragging about how many abortions he paid for and all I kept thinking is if I became pregnant he'd try to get me to abort too. I didn't sleep with that guy.
Good lord, who talks about this stuff, much less brags about it? I think I must live on a different planet than you.
I would never expect or want to hear about anyone's "abortion history." Seriously, do people have NO boundaries anymore?
[quote=Idon'tdateyou;28141036]I've been celibate many years (over 10)because I made the choice not to deal with this issue unless we were both on the same page. I'm not sure why I dated him except that at the time he seemed like a cool guy. He was 15 years older and owned a business and I thought he would treat me well. He did at first but then got creepy and verbally abusive.[/quote]
This is a tough one, for me to answer... I want to say that I would date a woman who has had an abortion, if for no other reason than being a compassionate and non-judgmental human being. On the other hand, since I am also pro-life, the act of the abortion itself (but not the woman herself, though) raises some troubling moral qualms for me. Then again...who am I, to judge another human being? "Judge not, lest ye be judged".
I guess I don't really have a fully-formed answer, to this one...
Wrong. Judging may not be so good out in the real world, but I don't know how it is that you cannot judge when it comes to people in your inner circle.
I have no idea why the second guy brought it up except I think he was looking for sex and figured he'd tell me right away.
With my friends who had abortions I don't judge them for doing so but would likely judge a man who caused an ex to abort. Maybe it's a double standard or maybe it's because I look at what would I do?
Good lord, who talks about this stuff, much less brags about it? I think I must live on a different planet than you.
I would never expect or want to hear about anyone's "abortion history." Seriously, do people have NO boundaries anymore?
Oh, come on! This is a completely appropriate topic. This is right up there with religion, finance and values as major deal breaker material. I don't want to be within 10 miles of someone like this, let alone invite them into my personal and family life!
This is exactly the kind of stuff that scares people off from dating and mating when they get older. Where the hell do you find normal people anymore?
I have no idea why the second guy brought it up except I think he was looking for sex and figured he'd tell me right away.
With my friends who had abortions I don't judge them for doing so but would likely judge a man who caused an ex to abort. Maybe it's a double standard or maybe it's because I look at what would I do?
I don't really judge friends either, I have a wide variety of people around me. But then again I don't have to bring them home, have children with them or share a checkbook. For those people, you bet I'm going to judge.
Wrong. Judging may not be so good in the real world, but I don't know how it is that you cannot judge when it comes to people in your inner circle.
Judging is great as far as I'm concerned.
Very interesting; thx for your input...I guess I try to to listen and understand perhaps, rather than judge? (I am always aware I'm not perfect of course, either.) For example, what caused her to need to have the abortion? Was she facing severe financial difficulty, and could not provide adequately for the child, had she carried it to term? Was she the victim of a rape or s*xual assault? Was she abused? etc. She may have been an otherwise very good and loving person, who simply had a really bad break, in life...and so it always helps to carry a little mercy, in one's heart...
I'm also curious, OP: I'm pretty sure you DON'T want anything to do with kids. You won't date any dads with kids as they will take time and money away from you. What is the point of telling prospects about abortions when in fact, YOU DON'T WANT KIDS?
I get that you're celibate but I think you should NEVER have sex or get a more permanent solution to your own birth control, like tubal ligation or hysterectomy. It doesn't make sense that you would initiate the conversation if it's not really relevant.
Last edited by ShellNic; 02-07-2013 at 03:50 PM..
Reason: typo correction
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I want to say that I would date a woman who has had an abortion, if for no other reason than trying to be a compassionate and non-judgmental human being. On the other hand, since I am also pro-life, the act of the abortion itself (but not the woman herself, though) raises some troubling moral qualms for me. Then again...who am I, to judge another human being? "Judge not, lest ye be judged"...and so I guess I don't really have a fully-formed answer, to this one...
