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The problem would be that he could have a difficult time getting back into the workforce because of the gap and he certainly would not have a salary comparable to someone with ten more years of experience and that situation can result in alimony. That's a choice the couple made.
What about the case where the man reenters the workforce after 10 years, makes MORE than his wife within a few years, and then they divorce? Should he still be compensated for staying home? He still "suffered" the same loss right?
The trouble with feminisim is, it's become a dirty word.
Most women I know would agree with the feminist doctrine, but decline to label themselves as "feminists", due to the hairy legged, angry, slightly off balance implications the word now carries.
This is unfortunate as the lessons we have learnt are being lost.
I look around at CD threads from young women totally under the spell of some abusive or dismissive man, and it makes my skin crawl. The original feminist lessons of walking on your own two feet, not needing anyone to feel happy or fulfilled, and striving for career or other non-man related achievements, have largely been forgotten.
Britney Spears alone put us back 40 years with her school girl pouting going viral.
Our ancestors who died for the right to vote would be spinning in their graves at the knowledge of Courtney Stodden and other young women who essentially make their living out of appearing to be human barbie dolls of varying quality.
Thanks to all the bad PR, we need a new word for feminism, and that word already exists. It's called "humanism".
If you take the radicals out, all feminists have ever, ever wanted are equal rights. That's it. We don't want to make your testicles into handbags, nor have one of you in every shed. We don't want to "steal" your children or humiliate or rob you in divorce. We just want the same rights as every body else to live our lives as we see fit, without the fear of being beaten up or raped or vilified as a "feminazi".
Now as for the individual arguments we are having here -
I chose not to genitally mutilate either my son or daughter
I would like equal pay for doing equal work but I still don't get it
I don't feel safe walking down the street at night
The male to female violence rate is totally unacceptable and the males are the ones who need to step up to fix it
The courts can and do discriminate against men in child custody disputes and this needs to be addressed BUT -
Men need to be mindful that she probably wouldn't be trying to stop them seeing their kids unless she had some very serious concerns indeed about their behaviour, which includes ignoring or attempting to shirk financial responsibilty, and any behaviour within the marriage or in the aftermath.
My own dear ex husband threw everything he could at me, except going for custody. Years later I asked him why not. His answer? "I didn't want them". And of course he didn't, as they were 3 and 7 at the time and would've interfered with his batchelor life. It went without question that I got full custody, and that suited him down to the ground.
The word feminism shouldn't change just because that idiot Limbaugh demonized it. It's fine the way it is.
Directed towards the OP…
I believe I any rights for either gender that are warranted…period and end of story..
I know that mens rights have been on the rise in the last 2 decades…and these are for specific rights of men..
If they are valid? Why not…a womens hating bashing session? No THANK YOU…
1. While the common myth that dads do not care about their children and every woman deserves custody of her children? FALSE..
There are many fathers out there that did not fit the profile of “Dead beat dads” that do not deserve this treatment..
There are fathers that can love and care and most importantly are able to care for their children than the child(rens) mothers can do..
I have seen this in my family..
My cousin has been married to hubby for 3 years and they recently ( april of 2012) they were contacted by CPS telling them if they did not take custody of his 2 sons from a previous marriage because the county had receive complaints of neglect…drug and alcohol abuse from the mother warranted a Failure to protect charge against them if they did not protect the kids..
The mother had 1.5 years to get “sober” get into a “sober treatment center” yet she failed drug tests and her boys told the county that their mother was always drunk and they did not feel..the mother had threatened suicide and took a bunch of pills with vodka because CPS had given temp custody to my cousin and the kids dad..
She lost all her parental rights and this was in april…in august? She got a new DUI…wow…
2. There are a low amount of reports from men regarding domestic abuse because of the stigma involved…
There is a percentage of men that have dealt with physical abuse from their SO’s and have failed to report it out of fear that they may seen as big P-U-S-S-I-E-S…AND WILL tolerate serious physical harm..
3. Regarding women getting alimony? Child support and so forth? Regarding a failed marriage where none of the above occurred?
It is called the law…\
In certain states cheating is not taken into consideration, can you imagine if it was?
If the home was purchased while married and no pre-nup was signed? And the couple was married over 5 years?
If there was property was involved? If custody was involved and the mother was capable?
Most judges will award custody sole physical and joint legal to both parties..
Why? Because in normal circumstances? Children will seen as faring better with the mother..
Unless it can be proven that MOTHER works too much in which she cannot provide her children with adequate care and supervision..
The mother is gone often, there is no support network from the mothers side in which family members can care for the stability for the children..
Due to the reality that most not all mothers handle all this from their end..
Alimony? Is pretty straight forward and is set with the program set up by the system and is not given in a marriage that lasted less than 5 years at least not here in Ca…
All other properties, purchases and so forth is determined by the marriage length ( 5 or more years)
Meaning any profits gained before the marriage belong to the husband alone, to the wife alone..
I.E. parents of the groom bought him a expensive car? Personal gift that cannot be judged. The groom purchased the home under his name before the marriage? His., The boat that he bought before? HIS..
The law pertains to anything legally purchased during the marriage…
So hope this clears things up…
What about the case where the man reenters the workforce after 10 years, makes MORE than his wife within a few years, and then they divorce? Should he still be compensated for staying home? He still "suffered" the same loss right?
In Colorado, he would pay his ex alimony.
Is this the third grade or something? What if, what if, what if. Christ. Whether you like or not, life usually doesn't happen to you. You have a hand it whether you have the maturity to recognize it or not.
Is this the third grade or something? What if, what if, what if. Christ. Whether you like or not, life usually doesn't happen to you. You have a hand it whether you have the maturity to recognize it or not.
You have a very evident pattern that when you realize you can't respond with reason, you respond with personal hatred. Weak.
So, resolved. Women who CHOOSE to stay home to take care of their kids HAVE A HAND in their decision, right? That didn't "just happen" to them. Why should they be compensated for the decision later, any more than a man should?
You have a very evident pattern that when you realize you can't respond with reason, you respond with personal hatred. Weak.
Recognizing immaturity is not equivalent to personal hatred. That's a pretty bizarre assumption on your part. Really, do you think anyone cares enough about anyone on this forum to hold strong emotion? Get over yourself. That may be a good start for you.
Quote:
So, resolved. Women who CHOOSE to stay home to take care of their kids HAVE A HAND in their decision, right? That didn't "just happen" to them. Why should they be compensated for the decision later, any more than a man should?
Both partners make the decision, both share the responsibility. The stay at home parent sacrificed career advancement, savings, professional growth, etc to do the job of raising the kids (in theory). The working partner who was able to make gains in career advancement, etc has to sacrifice for it as well. If a person is not grown up enough to understand the consequences of these types of decisions, he/she has no business making them in the first place (ideally at least). Beyond caveats and outliers, most people have to lay in the beds they make. You can get mad all you want about it, but it makes no difference.
The trouble with feminisim is, it's become a dirty word.
Most women I know would agree with the feminist doctrine, but decline to label themselves as "feminists", due to the hairy legged, angry, slightly off balance implications the word now carries.
I abandoned it when it became increasingly clear that modern day feminsim has no concern for the issues facing women of color nor low income women. The reaction to my criticism is never to engage me, but instead white, middle class (or higher) feminists is typically denial, hostility and finally marginalization.
I will no longer allow American white women to climb up my back and stand on my shoulders to help them grab power from American white men, which is what today's feminism really is about. I will reconsider when I start seeing American white women marching in the streets en masse for female migrant workers (who routinely have their wages outright stolen from them in addition to suffering horrific sexual harassment) instead of marching for their rights to walk around dressed like a "slut" without repercussions, while holding up a sign that features the N word.
Because of sweaty-faced pigs like Rush Percocet-brained Sexually Depraved Micro-dicked Macro-flatulent Verbally Diarrhetic Limbaugh and the mush-craniumed slack-jawed douchecanoe misogynistic morons who drool in unison with him.
Oh, was that strident of me? Sorry!
And some won't identify as a feminist thanks to what I detailed in my last post on this thread. Your world view isn't the same as everyone else's, and it's quite distastetful to see you essentially claiming that the only reason why a woman would step away from today's feminism is about what some media "personality" such as Rush limbaugh said.
Joint custody as in the man gets the kid once every two weeks and at best gets them during the weekends while paying even higher in Child support. Whats the incentive in fighting if at best he is getting weekends + Child Support?
The point of fighting is to get to spend as much time as possible with his children. It's not a game to be won or lost. If the "oppressed" masses of men rose up and demanded equal time with their children they would get it. The non-made up fact is that most men aren't even trying to get equal custody because they don't want to do the work or be held down by children.
A lot of these men really wish the ex would disappear with the child so they can move on to the next one unimpeded by prior obligations.
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