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Honestly, I think you need to understand the world better.
You have this bond, you think it is fantastic and unique.
If you had the bond with a different person you would think it was fantastic and unique.
You and I see things differently. Perhaps I might have felt that way in the early stages of my relationship with my husband - and it was certainly true for past relationships. But I have been with my husband for over 10 years now and we have become a part of each other. If I lost him - I wouldn't just be losing him - I would be losing some of myself. I could never replace our bond. We have grown together. This is something that I couldn't understand until I experienced. And 20 years from now - it will probably be even more true than it is now.
You and I see things differently. Perhaps I might have felt that way in the early stages of my relationship with my husband - and it was certainly true for past relationships. But I have been with my husband for over 10 years now and we have become a part of each other. If I lost him - I wouldn't just be losing him - I would be losing some of myself. I could never replace our bond. We have grown together. This is something that I couldn't understand until I experienced. And 20 years from now - it will probably be even more true than it is now.
It depends what you're saying
If you are saying that you couldn't replace the bond, ie if you were to have this experience and lose it for whatever reason, I agree.
If you are saying that you couldn't have had this bond with another person instead of your husband, I wholly disagree.
Why do you feel you are incapable on bonding with someone else?
It's the history, fil. That's irreplacable. My wife and I share memories from when we were 16 on the beach in southern California. We share memories of when we were 22, sitting on a college quad in Seattle reflecting on those California days we spent as teens. We share memories of when we were in our early 30s, driving through Tennessee, thinking back to our college days.
Perhaps longterm marriage isn't for everyone, but it's definitely for me. My wife is the absolute most important thing in the world to me, and that feeling has only grown with time. I'm not a fan of pushing a lifestyle on people who don't want it, but I'll tell anyone who'll listen about how good marriage can be if you've found the right person.
If you are saying that you couldn't replace the bond, ie if you were to have this experience and lose it for whatever reason, I agree.
If you are saying that you couldn't have had this bond with another person instead of your husband, I wholly disagree.
I don't know if I could have had this bond with another person because I didn't choose another person. We chose each other and built our lives together. If I had ended up with someone different - everything would have been different. All I know is that I what I have with my husband is irreplaceable to me and I value it tremendously.
I don't know if I could have had this bond with another person because I didn't choose another person. We chose each other and built our lives together. If I had ended up with someone different - everything would have been different. All I know is that I what I have with my husband is irreplaceable to me and I value it tremendously.
So, it is possible that, since everything would have been different, it is possible that it could have been better?
But we could never replace the bond that we have build and solidified over the past two decades.
I agree, you can't replace it - and why would you even want to, anyway? However, that doesn't mean you could not forge a new bond of comparable depth if put in the position of having to try (death, divorce - however unlikely given such a bond). Having experienced it once, you may be motivated to try again, and have a good basis for knowing how as well.
So, it is possible that, since everything would have been different, it is possible that it could have been better?
I'm sorry - I don't quite understand what your point is? Is there something you are after? If you want me to say that I might have been happier with someone else - not only do I not think of that as being a possibility but I don't quite understand why that would be relevant or why you would even care.
I had been in love with other people before my husband but when I fell in love with him - it was different. It was deeper. It was purer. It was - well, it just felt right. When you find that - you don't think about being happier with someone else. You don't think about there being someone "better." You just know that you are so lucky and grateful to have found someone that you couldn't live with out.
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