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This may be correct for some - or even most - people, but I know it's not true for all. Some people really are secure, non-jealous, and un-threatened. Perhaps this is a concept you can't relate to.
Oh, I can relate to it, because I am secure with myself. I have respect for myself as well as for the sweet guy I'm with. If I want to "check out" other men and "become aroused" by them, I would remain a single gal. There's no reason why I'd want to do that when I already have a sexy, handsome guy to flirt with and "check out"! If other people want to be disrespectful to their partners, that's their business. Whatever floats their boat, y'know?
Oh, I can relate to it, because I am secure with myself. I have respect for myself as well as for the sweet guy I'm with. If I want to "check out" other men and "become aroused" by them, I would remain a single gal. There's no reason why I'd want to do that when I already have a sexy, handsome guy to flirt with and "check out"! If other people want to be disrespectful to their partners, that's their business. Whatever floats their boat, y'know?
What you see as disrespect from your limited perspective, others see as harmless fun from a wider perspective. If this works for you, great - I have no problem with that. I do have a problem with the assumption that your perspective is the only correct one and should apply to other people too.
For most, true again. But again, not for all. We both flirt and it's all for fun. Often it's with another secure couple we're out with for the evening, and they do the same with us - all in fun. We know nothing will come of it - we trust each other and know them well enough to trust them, too.
If either of us wanted to pursue "other options," we easily could. What's great is that we are secure in our relationship and know we've chosen each other (and it's a choice we keep renewing day by day) and are happy about that. We wouldn't flirt with a stranger who might get the wrong idea, either - only with people we know well enough that they know it's all in fun. And the more secure they are, the more outrageous and funny it can be, without anyone getting offended or upset. We may sometimes make idiots of ourselves, but if so, we know when we're doing so, and it's for a calculated effect.
I think what you are talking about is different from what the OP and a few others are talking about. My husband and I think it's funny to flirt with people that we both know in front of each other, too. We even joke about stuff like that when we are by ourselves. But we don't go out of our way to flirt with complete strangers in front of each other.
You say that like a little ego-TLC is a bad thing. It's not necessarily a sign of insecurity, either, though you seem to feel that way. Since you don't know me, you don't know your statement is true for me or not, and you may not believe me when I say it isn't. No matter.
I agree with you about the real problem, though. Some people do forget, and some people are flirting because they are not happy with who they're with and are trying out their luck at finding a replacement.
Flirting isn't necessarily a win-lose activity. It can be win-win, win-win-win, or even win-win-win-win (e.g., with another secure couple).
It's creepy that you and your wife flirt with people you know; and that you take it as far as you can possibly take it before it becomes inappropriate. And, you say you do it for the "fun" of it. Tell me, what's "fun" about it? That you get to pretend your friend's wife is sexually attracted to you? Is it "fun" that your friend's husband is "pretending" to be sexually attracted to your wife?
So, your wife's attention and affections isn't enough to stroke your "TLC ego" - you have to flirt with other women to achieve that? Got it. You're right, I don't know you. But...there's something off about the way you two handle your ego trips. But hey, if that works for the both of you, so be it, right?!
It's creepy that you and your wife flirt with people you know; and that you take it as far as you can possibly take it before it becomes inappropriate. And, you say you do it for the "fun" of it. Tell me, what's "fun" about it? That you get to pretend your friend's wife is sexually attracted to you? Is it "fun" that your friend's husband is "pretending" to be sexually attracted to your wife?
So, your wife's attention and affections isn't enough to stroke your "TLC ego" - you have to flirt with other women to achieve that? Got it. You're right, I don't know you. But...there's something off about the way you two handle your ego trips. But hey, if that works for the both of you, so be it, right?!
More judgmental attitude coming from you. You must live a very sheltered little life if you can't possibly comprehend any of this.
I think what you are talking about is different from what the OP and a few others are talking about. My husband and I think it's funny to flirt with people that we both know in front of each other, too. We even joke about stuff like that when we are by ourselves. But we don't go out of our way to flirt with complete strangers in front of each other.
Hmmm...didnt you have to get rid of a friend because of this? You never said what actually went on that "she took the wrong way" so I am asking now.
When you offended his wife and made him cry on the phone?
What you see as disrespect from your limited perspective, others see as harmless fun from a wider perspective. If this works for you, great - I have no problem with that. I do have a problem with the assumption that your perspective is the only correct one and should apply to other people too.
Oh no, my opinion absolutely does NOT have to "apply" to other people. I never said that. It applies to ME and MY GUY. My perspective is NOT a "limited" one; it only is from your perspective. You can't tell me the part of your post in bold and then in the same breath accuse my perspective of being "limited". Sounds of hypocrisy. We believe and behave in our lives the way we choose to. But, I will say this...when I read posts from men like you, it makes me extra-especially GRATEFUL to have the great decent guy that I have! His exceptional moral and decent character traits places him above 90% of the men who post here and who exist out in the real world.
I'm a happy and satisfied girl!!! Thanks for reminding me of this, Taoist.
More judgmental attitude coming from you. You must live a very sheltered little life if you can't possibly comprehend any of this.
I can comprehend it, I just don't agree with it. So, are you saying I have to "agree" with this lifestyle? If so, then YOU'RE being judgemental as well.
You say that like a little ego-TLC is a bad thing. It's not necessarily a sign of insecurity, either, though you seem to feel that way. Since you don't know me, you don't know your statement is true for me or not, and you may not believe me when I say it isn't. No matter.
I agree with you about the real problem, though. Some people do forget, and some people are flirting because they are not happy with who they're with and are trying out their luck at finding a replacement.
Flirting isn't necessarily a win-lose activity. It can be win-win, win-win-win, or even win-win-win-win (e.g., with another secure couple).
It can be a bad thing when you use it in the wrong way.
Wrong way:
- What we agree on (home honey)
- doing that when partner is hurt by it
- using that "free thinking" to put down others with labels as "insecure" rather than just agreeing on different needs and values.
You are right. I don't know you. But from your posts I would assume that you know the "time and place" rule very well where it wouldn't be a problem for your life. But the insult would make me think that you do have a bit of insecurity creeping in somewhere. Everyone does. You would be insane if you didn't.
I agree - but flirting in front of your girlfriend so she knows you have options doesn't really seem like the act of a secure person, does it?
It's actually quite manipulative. You're essentially telling them, "I can have any woman/man I want, so you better be (((what I want here)))."
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If I want to "check out" other men and "become aroused" by them, I would remain a single gal. There's no reason why I'd want to do that when I already have a sexy, handsome guy to flirt with and "check out"!
If other people want to be disrespectful to their partners, that's their business. Whatever floats their boat, y'know?
That you get to pretend your friend's wife is sexually attracted to you? Is it "fun" that your friend's husband is "pretending" to be sexually attracted to your wife? 
