The lightbulb finally came on.... (boyfriend, women, love, cheat)
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Yes, I finally woke up to the way I was being treated by my ex-boyfriend. It took awhile though. Him always making excuses and saying things in such a way that he made it seem like it was MY fault for the way I was feeling. Very good manipulator and done in such a way that you don't see it. You come on these forums and ask for advice and get good advice, then you ignore them. You talk to your friends and they tell you the same thing and you ignore them. Still thinking, 'well, maybe it is ME. Maybe I need to TRY harder. Maybe I'm just telling people my side and not his and maybe I'm wrong.'
I read all about divorces and couples breaking up and I'm a worker. I don't give up easily. And when my ex said I can talk to him about anything and then I do and he does NOT want to admit he's wrong. So, talking is pretty much useless. They say communication is key, but when one partner truly believes that he's not doing anything wrong, then what can you do?? Then he turns it around to make it seem like it's YOU. And you keep playing it over in your mind.
Love really is blind. He said he wanted to be with me forever and that he'll take care of me and those words just blew me away. He said he'll never cheat and/or do anything to hurt me. But he didn't realize that there are different ways to hurt a person. Not spending enough time with me and/or not talking to me that much and then he says it's me and he puts his hobbies/family before me and well, I just felt like the lowest. Thinking I'm too clingy or co-dependent or whatever. But finally realizing that it wasn't me at all! I was put last.
I was actually thinking about moving in with him and spending my life with this man. What a disaster that would've been. I realize how inconsiderate and selfish he is.
So people, if you are in a relationship and you think maybe it's YOU, well then maybe it's NOT.
It is always good to ask yourself if you are the source of the problem. You were not wrong to do that. It is just as important to recognize when you've made every effort possible and when the ball is in your partner's court. It is hard to break away from a relationship because sometimes we just want to take the path of least resistance. But sometimes you're better off in the long run by making a hard decision now. Good for you for recognizing that you had reached this point, and good luck to you as you move on.
feel good you recognize all this now,,,than 2 yrs from now
Im young, I know,
But even so
I know a thing, or two
I learned, from you
I really learned a lot,
Really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when it's hot
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts
Yes, I finally woke up to the way I was being treated by my ex-boyfriend. It took awhile though. Him always making excuses and saying things in such a way that he made it seem like it was MY fault for the way I was feeling. Very good manipulator and done in such a way that you don't see it. You come on these forums and ask for advice and get good advice, then you ignore them. You talk to your friends and they tell you the same thing and you ignore them. Still thinking, 'well, maybe it is ME. Maybe I need to TRY harder. Maybe I'm just telling people my side and not his and maybe I'm wrong.'
I read all about divorces and couples breaking up and I'm a worker. I don't give up easily. And when my ex said I can talk to him about anything and then I do and he does NOT want to admit he's wrong. So, talking is pretty much useless. They say communication is key, but when one partner truly believes that he's not doing anything wrong, then what can you do?? Then he turns it around to make it seem like it's YOU. And you keep playing it over in your mind.
Love really is blind. He said he wanted to be with me forever and that he'll take care of me and those words just blew me away. He said he'll never cheat and/or do anything to hurt me. But he didn't realize that there are different ways to hurt a person. Not spending enough time with me and/or not talking to me that much and then he says it's me and he puts his hobbies/family before me and well, I just felt like the lowest. Thinking I'm too clingy or co-dependent or whatever. But finally realizing that it wasn't me at all! I was put last.
I was actually thinking about moving in with him and spending my life with this man. What a disaster that would've been. I realize how inconsiderate and selfish he is.
So people, if you are in a relationship and you think maybe it's YOU, well then maybe it's NOT.
Excellent post.
You are absolutely right. Many women who chose to stay in a dysfunctional relationship do have codependency issue. You are certainly not the problem. You deserve to be happy, hope you can find somebody so much better!
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