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I remember the days when no one did background checks on people they wanted to be romantic with. Such a thing was unheard of.
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Originally Posted by Lilac110
Finances? He wouldn't have a right to that, and if he abused his position at his job to try to dig into it, I'd have an issue with that and I'd alert his employer about what he's doing. Same goes for health history, if, say, he worked in one of the local health systems where I might have been a patient.
I can't help but think it's just a matter of time before all that stuff is available to the public too. I mean, why even have privacy?
If I was single, that person wouldn't have my real name until I met them and decided they weren't off their rocker. Even then, I wouldn't give out my true identity until I felt as though I could trust them.
If I was single, that person wouldn't have my real name until I met them and decided they weren't off their rocker. Even then, I wouldn't give out my true identity until I felt as though I could trust them.
I feel that way too but you not trusting them is what makes them all pissed off and suspicious and wanting to do a background check on you. It's a vicious cycle that's caused by not being face-to-face in the first place.
I would hope my daughters would do that before going out with any guy. You just never know about people these days.
I find it hilarious that people say "they can just ask me I won't lie". Well obviously if no one lied there would be no reason for background checks to exist in the first place.
I feel the same way. I would still make them share what they found out b/c mistakes can be made and I have a fairly common first and last name. I swear I am squeaky clean but some of my namesakes may not be.
It's available on the internet for the low low price of $19.99 or something like that, it's not like they are snooping through my drawers.
I feel that way too but you not trusting them is what makes them all pissed off and suspicious and wanting to do a background check on you. It's a vicious cycle that's caused by not being face-to-face in the first place.
Trust in earned in my opinion. I don't trust freely, especially not someone that was a perfect stranger just a few conversations ago. I can't see why someone would have a major issue with that.
Bolded statement just prove my point. A background check does not really give out information about people's characters. She ignored the red flags and still pursued the relationship.
I've told a person online, "If you want to know anything about me, anything at all, just ask me." I think my words will be good enough. If he does not trust me, and thinks he needs a background check to be reassured, then maybe he is NOT the one for ME.
In her case, it was someone she knew of from high school. She thought she could "save" him and prove everybody wrong.
While I think most would freely give information about themselves, I highly doubt an ex-con sociopath would do so. I guess red flags would pop up all over the place and most reasonable people would end it. So, in thinking about it, you don't need to do a background check, just pay attention to the red flags.
Trust in earned in my opinion. I don't trust freely, especially not someone that was a perfect stranger just a few conversations ago. I can't see why someone would have a major issue with that.
Because some people have high expectations.
Quote:
Originally Posted by akck
While I think most would freely give information about themselves, I highly doubt an ex-con sociopath would do so. I guess red flags would pop up all over the place and most reasonable people would end it. So, in thinking about it, you don't need to do a background check, just pay attention to the red flags.
Obviously it seems more creepy if you are a woman, and a guy is doing a background check on you. As a guy I would not be the least bit offended at a women doing a background check on me. As a matter of fact I would hope my daughters would do that before going out with any guy. You just never know about people these days.
I find it hilarious that people say "they can just ask me I won't lie". Well obviously if no one lied there would be no reason for background checks to exist in the first place.
We would just have to agree to disagree. I don't mean to hijack this thread and make it into something else. But do you really think strict gun law can prevent criminals from obtaining them in the first place?
Ex con will NEVER tell a potential date his or her full name. They know how to hide their true identities.
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