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There was a guy I dated right after high school ... I swear, back then, I thought he was "The One." We broke up (lots of nights on my part), but because I really did love him, I wanted him to be happy and to have a good, rich life with a woman he loved and who loved him. Honestly, I did.
We contacted each other on FB -- I can't remember who made the first move. We were always really good friends -- our relationship wasn't even that sexual -- and I figured, "Why not? It can't hurt to catch up with him and see what's up."
His life is just soooo bad. And I mean, really bad. Wife left him with four kids to raise, he's diagnosed functional bi-polar, underemployed, and holy h*ll, it's apparent that he's teetering on the brink of batsh*t crazy, and I really wish that I never knew any of this. It just makes me so sad. If I had never cared, it wouldn't matter that much.
But ...
And a big part of me feels extremely guilty because I'm thinking, "Wow, I'm glad that's not my problem."
Facebook should be used judiciously, IMHO, and I didn't use it judiciously.
Anyone have a similar experience? Find out something about an ex that really bummed you out, or made you feel terrible for them?
Fill in the blank with anything and it's still going to be a terrible idea, generally speaking.
Yeah. I really don't know what I was thinking.
This guy was pretty special to me, because he was kind of my first "real" boyfriend, even if he wasn't my very first true love. I cared a little too much, so it seems.
I learned a lesson 3 years ago to let sleeping dogs lie. I got in contact with someone I thought was the one, we briefly dated then he broke my heart. It devastated me. Now the only exes I talk to on Facebook are ones that are strictly platonic.
Yeah, she contacted me. Damn! She's as beautiful as ever. (I had pictured her as getting fat and frumpy. No such luck.) After a few quick emails I quit writing and she did too. We're both happily married, but we had such a strong attraction for each other and were sort of forced to split due to unavoidable circumstances. I'm just afraid to stay in contact with her for fear of what could happen, but I don't want to unfriend her either. We remain Facebook "friends" and leave a comment on each others pages every month or so.
I don't really know how to handle it at this point. I thought about explaining why I quit writing, but I don't really want to admit to still having feelings for her -- don't want to leave an opening for escalation of anything. (She's already said she's had regrets that we went our separate ways. I didn't respond to that.)
After we'd split 20+ years ago we both got married a couple years later. My wife died a few years after that, and she divorced her first husband about the same time. I searched and searched for her, but she'd moved across country and had a new name, and I didn't know about her divorce anyway. Turns out we both married again at about the same time. Timing has just never been right for us. That should tell us something, eh?
Anyway, I'm glad she contacted me, but it has caused some conflicting emotions to surface.
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nights on my part), but because I really did love him, I wanted him to be happy and to have a good, rich life with a woman he loved and who loved him. Honestly, I did. 
