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It's fine if you clean out your husband even if you cheated, but please don't pretend you're a good person for it.
The point is that a husband with a decent lawyer and a proactive interest in his case won't allow himself to be cleaned out. He isn't helpless. As Lilac pointed out above, if he doesn't advocate for himself, no one else is going to.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 04-30-2013 at 02:36 PM..
Well, I'm not angry and hateful. But injustice pisses me off. This is true of most good people. It's something you'd understand if you were a good person who cares about social justice.
No, never even been married. That doesn't mean I don't read. Reading. Keeping up with the news. Periodicals. Opinion. Ever heard of it?
It's fine if you clean out your husband even if you cheated, but please don't pretend you're a good person for it.
It's fine if you clean out your husband even if you cheated, but please don't pretend you're a good person for it.
Who the heck said anything about it being "fine" for a cheater to take an ex to the cleaners? Is it possible? Sure. Is it legal? Obviously, as it happens. But who said anything about it being ethically right? Or pretending to be a good person? Where are you projecting this nonsense from? Who is saying this? Quote the posts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
The point is that a husband with a decent lawyer and a proactive interest in his case won't allow himself to be cleaned out. He isn't helpless. As Lilac pointed out above, if he doesn't advocate for himself, no one else is going to.
Exactly.
Peanut seems to be under the impression that we're equating "possible" with "right," and that's just not the case.
How was it misogynistic when I am making a valid point?
Over 50 percent or more of people who pay alimony are men. It's probably a bit higher than that.
And many women who get alimony get far more than they deserve and use the money for a leisure lifestyle.
Don't you think these laws are antique?
Alimony for the rest of her life unless she remarries?
If women had to pay alimony like men have to, you ladies would be complaining too.
I agree with EQUALITY. So let's be equal ladies in ALL AREAS.
No, the proportions of men issued with alimony payments is 96% last year, total of 97% court-ordered alimony payments (generating 99% in terms of total money amount). We are talking about court-ordered alimony payments.And you cannot be more wrong. Judges won't issue an alimony payment to any physically and mentally capable man EVER, unless the alimony law is so strictly defined that it basically defines it strictly on income payment and a husband has significantly less income. Many states are still having quite much "creative space" when either defining alimony or the amount of it, thus the disproportions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
There aren't great statistics for this, but last I read is that alimony is awarded in only about 10-20% of divorces. So yeah, maybe it is unfair that men still pay alimony in larger numbers, but the vast majority of divorced men (at least 80%) are not paying alimony at all. The most recent divorces that I know of personally did not involve spousal support, and it was the wife who ended up paying a settlement to her ex-husband. Last time this came up, an informal straw poll of C-Ds showed that outside of maybe one or two cases, none were either paying or receiving alimony.
This cannot be more wrong. I am emphasizing Virginia's notorious lifetime alimony practice. Unlike what you may think, most people who receive permanent alimony have been and are in workforce throughout their marriage, except maybe during childbirth break. "Long-lasting marriage" (vague term and not clearly defined, but effectively any marriage which lasted over 10 years) is a grounds for a woman (and woman only!) to get permanent alimony "until she remarries". Alimony may be awarded "less often" because people are increasingly negotiating their way out of it. I know it from examples in my near vicinity. Alimony is a useful tool during divorce negotiations and true proportions of its influence are NOT only manifested through the alimony payments. Just like what happens with child support.
Well, I'm not angry and hateful. But injustice pisses me off. This is true of most good people. It's something you'd understand if you were a good person who cares about social justice.
Nice ad hom. Grow up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanuttree
well you guys are saying I'm clearly an angry person because I'm angry at a grave injustice. And I just proved that you guys are fools if you believe that (or amoral monsters).
NO, I said you sound angry and hateful and wondered why. Get over yourself. You've never even been married, so you have NO CLUE about what it's like or the reasons people divorce, so as far as I'm concerned, your opinion on this is pretty worthless.
No, the proportions of men issued with alimony payments is 96% last year, total of 97% court-ordered alimony payments (generating 99% in terms of total money amount). We are talking about court-ordered alimony payments.And you cannot be more wrong. Judges won't issue an alimony payment to any physically and mentally capable man EVER, unless the alimony law is so strictly defined that it basically defines it strictly on income payment and a husband has significantly less income. Many states are still having quite much "creative space" when either defining alimony or the amount of it, thus the disproportions.
This cannot be more wrong. I am emphasizing Virginia's notorious lifetime alimony practice. Unlike what you may think, most people who receive permanent alimony have been and are in workforce throughout their marriage, except maybe during childbirth break. "Long-lasting marriage" (vague term and not clearly defined, but effectively any marriage which lasted over 10 years) is a grounds for a woman (and woman only!) to get permanent alimony "until she remarries". Alimony may be awarded "less often" because people are increasingly negotiating their way out of it. I know it from examples in my near vicinity. Alimony is a useful tool during divorce negotiations and true proportions of its influence are NOT only manifested through the alimony payments. Just like what happens with child support. Alimony basically emulates the
Since filihok has apparently been banned, I'll ask--citations, please?
No idea what you're talking about. All I know is somebody started calling me "angry" when all I was doing was saying that screwing men over for no reason is wrong.
You don't need direct personal experience when we have this little thing called "language", remember? You know, like, you can read about or hear about from people what happens. So when I hear that some b!^&ch boned all the yankees then left her husband because she felt like it then takes the kids and the house and all his money, I can form the opinion that that;s WRONG.
Obviously you don't know what I'm talking about. If you were a smart person who cared about reading comprehension, you would understand.
OOPS!
As for the Yankees, if you think that is what most divorces are like, there's a bridge in Brooklyn I'd like to sell you. Again, your opinion on marriage and divorce isn't worth much to those who have actually been through it. I don't have kids. I may have ideas on how I would raise them if I did, but me spouting self-righteous and sanctimonious posts on the parenting board about my OPINIONS would get me lit up and laughed off the threads.
Yeah, yeah, spout all you want. The right to free speech doesn't come with the right to be taken seriously.
This post has many valid points about the law system.
A good lawyer will find ways to push the law to the limit on whatever case/lawsuit they are working on.
No, not so. A GOOD lawyer will advocate for their client. My mother won't even take "I am going to clean him out, the bastard" cases. SHE is a good lawyer.
Sort of like how a person might be angry and hateful towards skinheads (even if they don't DO much negatively in our society), or a cop caught being corrupt, or the fact that kids in foster care are at much higher risk.
Yeah, injustice and horrible morals pisses good and righteous people off. Get used to it.
If you leave your husband because come 35 and after a few kids you're bored with your husband, who by then is hardly brad pitt, and you don't want to f^*k him anymore, and you unilaterally leave and take ALL his money and his kids, then yeah, you're a bad person.
There is so much wrong with this post and your thought process that it's hard to know where to begin
How about "if the HUSBAND leaves the wife because after 35 years HE is bored", blah blah blah....after the wife spent all those years making the family home the place they had decided together they wanted it to be?
See, THAT is the more common occurrence - NOT that women leave marriages like that - that MEN do. And when they do, their wives would be left in terrible financial straits if not for alimony.
You are clearly a very black and white thinker (meaning young and still maturing) who doesn't yet understand that there are many different types of scenarios in divorce - not just that "women screw guys over"
And how ridiculous for you to be so egotistical and short-sighted as to think YOU are the ONLY one here who is a "good and righteous person". Do you even know how silly some of your statements make you look?
What would be the point in having a BF who didn't take care of the woman?
In what world is a BF responsible for food and shelter of someone else?
That thinking is what caused YOU to end up in this situation.
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