Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm in the minority as a woman. I preferred cold approaches as opposed to knowing the person first. Most of the guys I dated, I didn't know them before they approached me. My concern with "knowing" someone whether it's through work, school or another activity, was that it became awkward when interests weren't mutual.
And yeah, if a guy approached me, I would hope he was physically attracted to me. It doesn't mean he has the right to be crude with me though.
With women, if it's not one thing, it's the other. There is no good without the bad...
You end up having to leverage who you want to be. "If I do this, I'll be considered a 'stalker'. If I decide to do this, I'll be a 'jerk'. If I decide to do this, I'll have 'anger issues'. If I don't do anything, I'll live to regret it. Which don't I mind being? A jerk, stalker, or quick to anger?"
Is this a younger generation thing? why do you think it's creepy to talk to a woman in public? This is how it was done in the "olden days", haha. You know, before the internet.
Must be, (a younger generation thing). A lot of us younguns have distorted versions of distorted messages. I myself had that mindset. There are tons of ultimately destructive programming going on in our minds. For instance, getting the hottest girl(s). There is nothing wrong with wanting someone who you are attracted to. Unfortunately, we (or at least I did, back up to a couple of months ago) take it to the level where we pump her up to be more than who she truly is, a human being. This in turn causes us to sabotage ourselves when it comes to dating. We
Also, apparently society isn't so friendly these days, compared to earlier times. Some areas are worse than others.
In my area, there are some uppity people, but the friendly and sociable people more than make up for it.
Here's the thing, the more you worry about coming off as a creep, the more you will come off as a creep.
With women, if it's not one thing, it's the other. There is no good without the bad...
You end up having to leverage who you want to be. "If I do this, I'll be considered a 'stalker'. If I decide to do this, I'll be a 'jerk'. If I decide to do this, I'll have 'anger issues'. If I don't do anything, I'll live to regret it. Which don't I mind being? A jerk, stalker, or quick to anger?"
That's the risk you take with cold approaching a woman you don't know. It's highly likely that she's not going to be interested in or available to you. And you won't know ahead of time if she's the kind of person who will find you charming or aggressive.
That would make me pretty uncomfortable, it's an overly bold move and an attempt to pressure me into giving up my phone number.
It's an attempt to get your phone number. The pressure you'd feel I'm not responsible for. Especially since you're still a stranger...
The actual flaw is asking for the time when you have a phone on you. Later, she might pick up on it, thinking "oh, he actually just wanted to talk to me..." as opposed to "oh, he needed the time and then thought I was cute..."
If you look like George Clooney, cold approach away.
If you look like a regular guy, be very careful, make eye contact first to ensure a spark of interest, and only go in if she smiles at you.
If you are plain or unattractive chances are the cold approach is not for you. It could even lead to being arrested or something.
Obviously most men aren't George Clooney so it's a risky tactic fraught with potential problems and has a low chance of success.
I'd work on another way of meeting women. If you aren't successful with women who know you, you won't be successful with those who are strangers either.
If you look like George Clooney, cold approach away.
If you look like a regular guy, be very careful, make eye contact first to ensure a spark of interest, and only go in if she smiles at you.
If you are plain or unattractive chances are the cold approach is not for you. It could even lead to being arrested or something.
Obviously most men aren't George Clooney so it's a risky tactic fraught with potential problems and has a low chance of success.
I find this interesting, because the guy that 'approached' me near my bus stop was VERY good looking. It still doesn't give him the right to grab me and demand things of a total stranger.
Sure, good looking guys are going to have better luck..that's painfully obvious. Just like prettier women are going to have their pick of men. But just because you're good looking doesn't mean you can't be labeled a weirdo.
I find this interesting, because the guy that 'approached' me near my bus stop was VERY good looking. It still doesn't give him the right to grab me and demand things of a total stranger.
Sure, good looking guys are going to have better luck..that's painfully obvious. Just like prettier women are going to have their pick of men. But just because you're good looking doesn't mean you can't be labeled a weirdo.
Yikes that's not a "cold approach" that's an assault.
But good for OP to hear about right...he runs the chance of someone reacting that way no matter what he looks like.
I am one of those people who think folks should be free to wander through the world without being hit on. If you are a pretty woman it seems like every second bloke thinks you're going to **** him if he just thinks of the right pickup line.
Some might say "what's wrong with approaching strangers" but in this cynical and violent day and age, there's plenty wrong with it. You might think you're being cute and flattering but your target may have been raped or stalked before, you don't know how she will react to being spoken to by a stranger.
I find this interesting, because the guy that 'approached' me near my bus stop was VERY good looking. It still doesn't give him the right to grab me and demand things of a total stranger.
Good-looking people can have mental or behavioral issues just like anyone else.
Freaky story!
Good-looking people can have mental or behavioral issues just like anyone else.
Freaky story!
He looked a bit like a younger John Stamos...very good looking. Doesn't mean I didn't want to judo flip him on his *****.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It doesn't mean he has the right to be crude with me though.
