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Semantics. Same thing, others are simply giving a term for a condition you leave unnamed.
Perhaps. I just don't agree with the concept of it being a "zone" or being gender-specific. I can't really relate to that in my experience. Both men and women have many people to whom they're not sexually attracted. (Well, a few people will bang anything that moves, but most will not.) It's not about putting people in a "zone." It's just a lack of sexual interest.
Exactly what is she doing wrong? Is she obligated to sleep with everyone who wants her? LOL
Women cant befriend men?
I thought it was only the "friend zone" if someone was being used or lead on? How is a woman who has been honest about not being attracted doing either? She has not placed anyone anywhere they didn't want to be.
If she's not using dude for money or getting him to do her homework LOL, how is this something she's "done" TO him?
Well, I've heard two different conceptions of the friend zone.
The first is the idea that a woman can be attracted to you, but if you don't make a move quickly enough, then she punishes your behavior by placing you in the friend zone, where you'll have to work your way out of.
The second idea is that a woman who is not attracted to you can keep you around as a friend for emotional comfort, and might lead you on a bit, although she'll always keep you at arm's length.
The first idea is false. As long as a woman is attracted to you and is available, you have unlimited tries at banging her or asking her on a date. You can always do the "Brad Pitt Thought Experiment" on dating issues. Here, ask yourself, If a socially awkward Brad Pitt hanged out with a girl on 50 occasions and never made a move on her, would she put him in the friend zone? Obviously not.
The second idea is true. I've witnessed it countless times.
You are correct that there are two conceptions of the friendzone but the first idea is not false. There is such a thing as a 'window of opportunity' and it's not a punishment to you from her when that happens. She simply thinks you're not interested in her enough and moves onto a guy who is. If one guy doesn't make a move quickly enough, she moves on to another who will. I have had plenty of guys who I liked who did not make a move and I assumed they were not really interested and I shifted my feelings to another guy. This is not a conscious behavior on my part (hindsight is 20/20), it just happens. While you're sitting around wondering if Johnny actually likes you or not and why he's acting so confusing, David, who is also very attractive, approaches you and is assertive and forthright with his feelings and intentions, and it's hard not to start liking David instead. I can only have feelings for ONE guy at a time. That's just how I am. After that Johnny the "friend" disappears after learning about David, usually by fading to black. I have never had the experience like most other women where a guy friend sticks around to be my emotional tampon and listen to me complain about my boyfriend/husband. Any guy friends I've ever had in the past quietly disappear and stop contacting me once I get another guy.
Anyways, I would word the two conceptions like this:
- The guy who befriends a girl and doesn't make a move but she moves on to someone else and keeps him as just a friend.
- The guy who makes a move and she rejects him but she wants to keep him as a friend and he willingly sticks around hoping she'll change her mind.
Nope, the "friend zone" is a sexist, and stupid, imaginary concept. Nobody is entitled to someone's attention. I'm still friends with a failed romantic prospect to this day, and I'm not ashamed of that. It's like people who use that term find friendship offensive.
While I'm not denying it's existence, I'm more questioning the idea that, once you become friends with a girl/woman you don't have a hope of making an intimate question. I think the obvious reality is that most, perhaps the majority, of relationships begin with friendships, sometimes even after a long time. If the FZ thing applies in most cases what is the maximum 'incubation period' of a friendship before you it to escalate into something romantic?
I'd say immediate. Otherwise, "just friends" means she is not attracted. Find another woman to be with, no problem.
I am. I'm denying the existence of the "friend zone". I think some women decide they're not interested in certain men because they're bored with them, whether they are a friend, an acquaintance, or even their present lover It doesn't have anything to do with you being their friend; they (again, some women) just want someone new. If you don't seize the opportunity to capture her heart while you are that someone new, it passes you by whether you're friends with her or not.
(assuming you truly feel no physical attraction to each other)
My suspicion is that you do feel attraction but deny it, maybe because the time is not right or because it's one-sided only and one or both of you want to save face. This also happens when you're busy being romantically involved with other people but still keep each other around.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20
You can't speak for the millions of people in the world this has happened to, unless you're calling them all liars.
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
Hey man, whatever. Do whatever you want. Good luck.
I can only speak for myself. I've had my feelings change for certain people. There were a few cases where I didn't feel any sort of attraction for a certain person (romantic, or platonic), then after getting to know her, or catching her at the right moment,() I started having second considerations. I mean, at different stages, people start wanting different things. I find that I am not necessarily attracted to the same things that I was even 5 years ago. Also, some traits that I have found rather unattractive, or didn't even notice has actually become alluring.
But then again, I'm still going through changes at my age. Call it what it is. I am definitely going through a transition. (I guess I'm maturing).
But I am still of the belief that the friend zone, as it is commonly known is a place where a person places another person whom he or she is not attracted to in that way.
It really has no bearing on whether she actually wants to be friends or is just letting him down easy.
While I'm not denying it's existence, I'm more questioning the idea that, once you become friends with a girl/woman you don't have a hope of making an intimate question. I think the obvious reality is that most, perhaps the majority, of relationships begin with friendships, sometimes even after a long time. If the FZ thing applies in most cases what is the maximum 'incubation period' of a friendship before you it to escalate into something romantic?
well it depends on many factors but the friend zone is not fun
Exactly what is she doing wrong? Is she obligated to sleep with everyone who wants her? LOL
Women cant befriend men?
I thought it was only the "friend zone" if someone was being used or lead on? How is a woman who has been honest about not being attracted doing either? She has not placed anyone anywhere they didn't want to be.
If she's not using dude for money or getting him to do her homework LOL, how is this something she's "done" TO him?
Who said she was doing anything wrong?
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It doesn't have anything to do with you being their friend; they (again, some women) just want someone new. If you don't seize the opportunity to capture her heart while you are that someone new, it passes you by whether you're friends with her or not.
) I started having second considerations. I mean, at different stages, people start wanting different things. I find that I am not necessarily attracted to the same things that I was even 5 years ago. Also, some traits that I have found rather unattractive, or didn't even notice has actually become alluring. 
