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This makes me think of a date that my mom went on, she is in her 60's and the man took off his arm at dinner, to show her that it was not real... I about died laughing when she told me how her date went.... I can't image what dating in your 40's is like
A friend of mine is about to finalize her divorce. When she got married, she was in her late 20s. Now she's in her 40s. She never had kids, has a stable career, and is parting with her husband on good terms. While she's in no rush to start dating again, she knows that she'll eventually want to be in a relationship again. She asked me what to expect as far dating goes. Being a never-married male in his 30s, I told her I probably wasn't the best person to answer her question. But here's some of what I offered.
You'll meet more men who've been married before, many of whom have kids.
A lot of the men will no longer be in the best shape.
Many will be jaded about relationships.
Many will not be interested in you because you're over 40.
A lot of younger men might pursue you wanting to live out their cougar fantasies.
Basically, most of what I could come up with was negative, but I'd rather not paint such a discouraging picture. I was trying to find some positive things to say, but it was hard. Sure, a lot of men will like that she doesn't have kids. And she's still fairly attractive, though I'm sure some men will consider her a bit overweight. They'll also like that she's financially stable and that she doesn't come across as angry or bitter about her divorce.
So help me out here. For the folks over 40, particularly the women, what would you say to my friend about the realities of dating after 40?
There seems to be a fair demand for childless single women over 40, judging by posts on this forum by guys hitting 40 and getting panicky about finding childless women their age, and judging by real life. There are plenty of guys around in that age group who don't have kids, because they've been career-focussed (like some women that age), or because they're socially awkward like so many guys posting here, and never got it together to date. There are also guys who are divorced because their wives cheated or they'd simply made the wrong choice the first time around, and there are a few who are widowers.
So your friend has no reason to lose hope. There are a lot of great guys out there who have gained wisdom from life experience, and aren't just looking for a hot babe. They're looking for the whole package.
There seems to be a fair demand for childless single women over 40, judging by posts on this forum by guys hitting 40 and getting panicky about finding childless women their age, and judging by real life. There are plenty of guys around in that age group who don't have kids, because they've been career-focussed (like some women that age), or because they're socially awkward like so many guys posting here, and never got it together to date. There are also guys who are divorced because their wives cheated or they'd simply made the wrong choice the first time around, and there are a few who are widowers.
So your friend has no reason to lose hope. There are a lot of great guys out there who have gained wisdom from life experience, and aren't just looking for a hot babe. They're looking for the whole package.
I think what happens is some men get over the idea of finding a younger woman (or are realistic)and want someone like them. Even though I don't do online I still lurk at Match and the amount of never married, childless men in my age range is large.
There seems to be a fair demand for childless single women over 40, judging by posts on this forum by guys hitting 40 and getting panicky about finding childless women their age, and judging by real life. There are plenty of guys around in that age group who don't have kids, because they've been career-focussed (like some women that age), or because they're socially awkward like so many guys posting here, and never got it together to date.
I can only imagine the requirements of women when a guy is in his 40's
Must have a House..................apts are not acceptable
Naw, he can live in my house if we want to live together
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Must have STABLE job...............unstable jobs are not acceptable
Naw, he can be semi-retired, like me. I'd prefer it.
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Must have A1 Credit......................bad credit is not acceptable
True. I'm not going to take on his debts. There is also a character and personality factor, even more important -- I want someone who, like me, is responsible, honest, plans ahead rationally, etc.
Re: houses, the more common problem over 40 is that both people have houses and neither wants to give theirs up .
That, too, but there are plenty of women around who don't want kids. Maybe it takes guys until their 40's to find them. There need to be better ways for people to meet who don't want kids.
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