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guys i made some stupid mistakes and i ended up losing my bf (i think). pls tell me how i should go from here cuz i really have no clue
i’ve been friends with my bf since grade 4 (grade 12 now). I have 4 siblings so it gets pretty bad with my folks in my house so im used to sleeping over at my BF's all the time so we hang out almost every day. I knew that he was into me since middle school but didnt return his feelings until recently. initially i was uncomfortable labeling us as in a relationship. we've only made out so far and not much more because back then i didn't want to lose my virginity before i got married; also because i dont want to ruin our friendship if we went too far. he was okay with it
we started hanging out with his guy friends a lot after we started "dating". in the beginning of the summer (late april) one of his friend's older bro came home from college, let's call this friend "john"; john's mom would go to her sisters to stay every weekend, leaving the house free to john and his bro. we started hanging out at john's since his bro is old enough to get liquor and cigarettes and sometimes weed, its from here when my bf starts acting extremely weird, when we're together he tell me that john's bro is a creep and is obviously hitting on me (even though we only have normal conversations) and that i dont seem to mind. Once, john's bro asks me why it says i'm single on facebook even though i'm supposed to be dating my boyfriend, and i tell him "we're more best friends than bf/gf". my bf and i have a fight about it after we get home. I tell my bf that i'm bad at telling people off/saying no. we make up afterwards
fast forward 2 weeks and the guys are playing video games with drinking on the side. my bf tells me not to join but every one else insists and i join in. basically i had to sit on the lap of whomever wins at the video game. I ended up sitting on his other friend ("tom" 's lap once and john's bro's lap. When we got home, he argues with me again about this but we make up again we end up having more hang outs, more games but honestly nothing serious. we start fighting less so i thought that he's finally ok with this stuff (again honestly nothing serious going on in these hangouts). one day my bf couldn't make it to our hang out so he tells me not to go either. I ask him why and he gives me the "john's bro is an *******" crap again, i tell him that the guys are pushy; he tells me to "get a spine". We get into a fight, didn't make up this time so i leave
ok, i'll admit i made a mistake here but you have to understand that i got really drunk. We ended up having a drinking game at hangout, the guys get me to play a video game which im really bad at because it's my first time. I end up getting drunk and doing some stupid stuff. basically i stripped in front of all the guys; after i get home and sober ed up i feel really guilty so i ask my boyfriend to meet the next day at school to confess; we got into another fight at school but still feel guilty after, so i go to my bf's house to apologise at night. I admit that what i did was wrong, midway i start crying and my bf comforts me and tells me everything is ok. I admit that i have problems saying no and tells my bf that i will try to fix it. The next day my bf tells me that he tried to talk to john and tom, but they were avoiding him. we both stop going to john's for a while but eventually i start feeling bad because i dont want me to be the reason that john and tom are no longer friends with my bf so i take him to john's again. They won't go, instead he tries to get john and tom to come over but they say they won't cuz he doesn't have smokes or drinks so bf steals liquor from his parents. We have the hangout without john's older bro. the next week bf's parents find out and grounds him, and i can no longer sleep over for 2 weeks. I fight with him because he got into trouble because he doesn't trust me and now i basically have no place to go to sleep. I go to john's for the weekend hangout (this was 2 weeks ago) out of spite but lies and tells my bf that i wasn't going to go. My bf calls me during but i ignore him cuz i was still pissed at john's i tell john and his bro that i didn't have any place to go. john's bro tells me it's okay for me to crash at their place
not gonna go into details but i got really drunk that night after tom left because i was still mad at my bf. one thing led to another and i ended up sleeping with john's bro. the next day (sunday) i wake up full of guilt and i start crying for a lot of reasons, for cheating and losing my virginity. john's bro comforts me and we start talking about my relationship. one thing led to another again and we end up having sex again i text to my bf telling him that i went and on monday night i go to my bf's place, feeling really guilty. he starts yelling at me, i just cry. He then calms down and tells me that he's sorry, i start crying again. he tells me to just go to sleep and i tell him that i loved him. we make out and i ask him if he loves me back. he tells me that he does. i ask him no matter what? he says of course i tell him what happened; bf is obv shaken up, we both cry this entire time we're really weird for the next few days, i start telling him that i love him (which is true). we go facebook official, hold hands everywhere (which we didn't use to). this goes on for some time and i feel that i finally regained bf's trust
one day john's bro texts me asking why i haven't been coming over. I tell him that i dont want to go if my bf isn't there. john's bro asks us to both come because he feels like he wanted to set things straight and apologise to bf. It took a long time but i convince BF to go with me. once we get there though, bf ignores john's bro completely like an ******* even though john's bro is trying to talk to him
i get mad at bf and we argue; and he ends up ignoring me too. I end up going to john's bro's room and explains to him what happened, he tells me it's cool if i can't see him again. I tell him that it's not true and that it's all a huge mistake. somehow we end up making out and he starts feeling me up. things get heated and i'm touching him down there when my bf walks in my boyfriend asks me if i want to go home, for some reason i tell him that i'm going to stay. he tells me that "it's over". i tell him he's acting like there was something to end, i was mad at this point. he leaves and i havent spoken to him since (this was last weekend).
please guys i really have no idea what i can do. i don't want to lose my bf but i dont want the same thng to just repeat itself when i do go and apologise. how can i make him to just trust me and set things right with his friends?
You need to read some books on feminism and female self esteem unless you want to spend the rest of your life being sexually abused by douchebags.
Actually, no, you need serious therapy. I cannot fathom that after all the so-called "guilt" you felt after your striptease you went back and put yourself in the EXACT same situation with the SAME jerks who never showed an ounce of respect for you (quite the opposite in fact)
Obviously you desire the feeling of being treated like a piece of trash. Ask yourself why.
And your BF also needs his head examined for not leaving you by the side of the road months ago when you started letting yourself be passed around various laps giving boners to a bunch of guys you barely knew.
Is this what parents do these days? They leave the house for the weekend on a routine basis, leaving teen kids alone to have their friends over?
Nope, not in this house, or the houses of any teens I know well.
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