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No agency is going to adopt a child to a married couple where one parent doesn't want the child. As if the child does not have enough abandonment issues at 8-9 being in foster care!!!
To be fair "40's" in this instance is not like "20's". There is a difference between 40 and 47, even between 40 and 43, etc. A 40 year old woman and a 47 year old woman are not on the same level in terms of fertility and capability of sustaining a pregnancy. It's not impossible obviously, but 7 years in your 40's is different.
The studies don't differentiate which period in their 40's. I'm not aware of any studies that break down the 40's. Hence, I only said 40's. Either way, it's still a problem. Birth control is still necessary during a woman's 40's.
Well, since it escapes your mental capability I will spell it out for you. Clint Eastwood is 83 years old. He has a small child with his new 47 year old wife.
Well, if Clint Eastwood did it, everyone should! Oh ya, except he didn't.
The studies don't differentiate which period in their 40's. I'm not aware of any studies that break down the 40's. Hence, I only said 40's. Either way, it's still a problem. Birth control is still necessary during a woman's 40's.
I agree, birth control until menopause (12 months without a period) if you don't want to be getting pregnant later in life.
Well, if Clint Eastwood did it, everyone should! Oh ya, except he didn't.
And, too, Clint Eastwood's kid has grown up with a parent who's a senior citizen, and who will probably die of old age before she graduates from college. Good for him! But I digress...
And, too, Clint Eastwood's kid has grown up with a parent who's a senior citizen, and who will probably die of old age before she graduates from college. Good for him! But I digress...
If we're going to bring celebrities into it, we should mention James Gandolfini. Dead at 51, leaving a 6 month old baby fatherless.
I'm 45 and my husband is 56. we've been married 11 years.
In a beginning of out marriage, I was not ready to have a child. He told me he is too old to have one. I should more carefully what he said it. But again, I was not ready. I just let go the word.
Well, after 5 years, I was pregnant. Unfortunately I miscarriage. At the point, I start thinking little bit more about having a child. And he told me he will try.
Well, 2 years was passed. He never tried. I asked why and he said again. He dose not want to have one.
Some part of mind try to believe "I will try" instead of "dose not want to have one" even he said. Now I'm 45, one of my best girlfriend (46 years old) just got a pregnant and I seriously think about last chance to have one. I bring it up to him and he was just rejected. Even he rejected me, he said you could of been a good mother. Don't you think he is jerk??? I do not want to hear that especially he dose not let me have our child.
I'm devastated and hard to put myself together. I try hard everyday not to cry and think positive. But it is hard to be normal like use to. it's just happen 2 weeks ago. But he can't stand that i do not accept reality and do not get back normal right now.
i told him i need time to absorb. his reply was "i'd been the kind of relationship before and will not gonna change. it will bring it up again. if you do not change right now or move on, our relationship should be over now.
How come his mind is black or white for this situation? If some other situation that has to be black and white, he will put it as gray.
Am I missing some point? I really need help.
I absolutely believe it's black or white. Having a child is not like acquiring something, it's a tun of work and you both have to want to have that in your life. If you don't want a child, you don't have one an purpose. It sounds like you're the one changing your mind on it. Sorry OP but he has a right to father or in this case NOT father a child.
Do whatever it takes to have a child if that is what you want. Even adopting or becoming a foster parent.
Men may be against this idea. But it is amazing how quickly they can change once they spend a bit of time around kids.
Now I am a man and don't profess to understand women. But if there is one thing I do understand about women, it is that they have an internal "need" to at one point raise a child. Not negotiable!
Yes you only live once, however her husband was upfront and honest with her prior to the marriage, so by your standard she should just do what she wants and he should just deal with it; in other words force the child on the husband. There are implications for doing this where the child may suffer, what if he does not change and wish to spend time with this child? What if the husband decides to wash his hands due to feeling betrayed and misled and walk away?
This is going to cause division between father and child as well as division between husband and wife and may cause the marriage to end. I am a woman and believe that is a selfish approach, if the OP has thought this out and still wants to have a child whether it is done naturally or other means, I think she should think about going through the divorce process with her husband if he is not willing to budge and start making the adjustment to be a single parent.
"I bring it up to him and he was just rejected. Even he rejected me, he said you could of been a good mother. Don't you think he is jerk??? I do not want to hear that especially he dose not let me have our child."
really well what if you didn't want a kid and he did, should get to force you into having a kid. You are too old for kids. When you are 66 he will be 18. You might not even live that long And the dad if he is still alive will be 76, which is far beyond the life expectency of men his age. He'll basically never get to enjoy any of his life. What the hell did you do with the other 45 years of your life??? Should of had kids 10 years ago. When your kid graduates college he'll be 22. You'll be 68 and the daddy will be dead.
If we're going to bring celebrities into it, we should mention James Gandolfini. Dead at 51, leaving a 6 month old baby fatherless.
So sad, and so very true
Older parents should not ignore the potential for this kind of horrible loss, among other age-related problems their young adult kids may have to deal with by having "older" parents.
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Oh ya, except he didn't.
