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Nothing wrong to date 55+ men....you are 42....not 32...
And there's absolutely nothing wrong with her not wanting to date 55+ men. Just as there's nothing wrong with a 42-year-old man not wanting to date 55+ women.
How many of you guys just did a mental "eeew" at that thought (the older woman)? Well guess what? Many of us women do the same thing. You just don't get it...despite what many men want to believe, "older" men aren't always attractive. (Particularly the average older U.S. male, to be frank about it.) And we can't "make" ourselves feel attracted to those men no matter how much our (still quite patriarchal) society tells us we're supposed to feel it.
There's this whole "men can date much younger women because older men are still attractive" idea...I hate to be harsh about it but no, that's far from "generally" true. Some women feel this way, sure. Many, many of us don't. You're just hoping we will.
But the truth is, you have at least as good a chance of getting a mental "squick" from the significantly younger woman you're leering at. It just isn't always fun for us girls. Trust me.
It is what it is, it's not an insult any more than a man not wanting to date an older woman. But it IS a reality and I think guys need to wise up a bit about it. Of course, many do get that reality check when they're back out in the dating world.
My girlfriend's fantasy man is 45 years old, tall, dark, handsome. She is 28 years old just like me.
This is her fantasy man
Your girlfriend's fantasy isn't the average 45-year-old man if this picture is any indication. Your girlfriend's fantasy is a 45-year-old man who looks much younger, is quite thin/in shape and is an adventurer who who had the financial and time-related freedom to gad about riding their very own airplane.
She's kind of chasing a unicorn. This pic definitely doesn't represent the overwhelming majority of 45+ year old men in the U.S. I'm not putting down her fantasy, this man may well exist. But he is far from representative. Very far.
It's not rare for a quite young (20s) woman to think that being with a much older man will be wonderful. And for a few, that ends up being true. You definitely hear about successful May-December relationships. HOWEVER, and this is a big however, for many of us who tried it, the fantasy just did not come close to the reality. Older IS older. You can't get around that fact. And in the average, mundane day-to-day experience, you're with a man who has had a totally different life experience from yours, who is going to slow down a whole lot sooner than you (and probably already is), etc.
I do wish your girlfriend luck in finding the man of her dreams, I wish everyone luck in finding the person of his/her dreams.
Your girlfriend's fantasy isn't the average 45-year-old man if this picture is any indication. Your girlfriend's fantasy is a 45-year-old man who looks much younger, is quite thin/in shape and is an adventurer who who had the financial and time-related freedom to gad about riding their very own airplane.
She's kind of chasing a unicorn. This pic definitely doesn't represent the overwhelming majority of 45+ year old men in the U.S. I'm not putting down her fantasy, this man may well exist. But he is far from representative. Very far.
It's not rare for a quite young (20s) woman to think that being with a much older man will be wonderful. And for a few, that ends up being true. You definitely hear about successful May-December relationships. HOWEVER, and this is a big however, for many of us who tried it, the fantasy just did not come close to the reality. Older IS older. You can't get around that fact. And in the average, mundane day-to-day experience, you're with a man who has had a totally different life experience from yours, who is going to slow down a whole lot sooner than you (and probably already is), etc.
I do wish your girlfriend luck in finding the man of her dreams, I wish everyone luck in finding the person of his/her dreams.
lol yeah, I know. That is why it was her "fantasy" man.
She's now dating, her man looks nothing like the fantasy man I've just posted. But she loves him. I still tease her ever once in a while.
Here's the reality: Many women like older men, and many women don't. Many of the ones who don't like older men really REALLY don't, to such a great extent that they're unable to recognize that many other women do. They think all women share their preferences, and therefore it seems inexplicable to them than older men would hit on them. Well, the reason older men hit on you is that some women do in fact like older men, and they have no way of knowing if you're one of them until they try. If you're not interested, politely decline and allow them to move on to someone who is. Everybody wins.
Here's the reality: Many women like older men, and many women don't. Many of the ones who don't like older men really REALLY don't, to such a great extent that they're unable to recognize that many other women do. They think all women share their preferences, and therefore it seems inexplicable to them than older men would hit on them.
Not really.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plzeň
Well, the reason older men hit on you is that some women do in fact like older men, and they have no way of knowing if you're one of them until they try.
No, the reason older men hit on you is that they want a younger woman, period. Younger women are considered "hotter." They look better on one's arm. It's a coup to "get" a younger woman. In some men's minds (definitely not all), it means they've "still got it." They also still see themselves as the young guy they once were, even though evidence points to the contrary.
It very often (I can tell you from experience) has very little, if anything to do with what the man thinks the woman might want. Women are "supposed" to like older men, period. It's a cultural thing. When we don't, it's a shock and we're either considered oddballs (strange based on how many of us there are) or narrow-minded, etc.
These same older men have "no way of knowing if" an older woman will like being hit on either, yet you see a comparative dearth of this, particularly in online dating. Nope. It's quite often an "I deserve a young, hot woman" thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plzeň
If you're not interested, politely decline and allow them to move on to someone who is. Everybody wins.
This I agree with. We all have our preferences. I might add: no is no. There are some VERY creepy stories on this thread that have absolutely nothing to do with the man just not being sure a younger woman might like him, so he gives it a shot. I've experienced such things myself.
1. Yes. Everyone has preferences. Both sexes. Honor those.
2. No always means no.
Just my opinion and view.
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This pic definitely doesn't represent the overwhelming majority of 45+ year old men in the U.S. I'm not putting down her fantasy, this man may well exist. But he is far from representative. Very far.
There are some VERY creepy stories on this thread that have absolutely nothing to do with the man just not being sure a younger woman might like him, so he gives it a shot. I've experienced such things myself.
