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I know the only solution is to ask her, and I'm planning on it, but WTF.
1. A few months ago she found out I played piano and suggested we form a music group. The first time she was to come over for practice she stood me up. The second time (about a month later) she came, but was dressed very nicely and left abruptly after about 20 min, stating she had other plans. I didn't think she was band material if she couldn't keep on schedule.
2. She started facebook messaging me regularly, completely out of the blue. She's stated how lonely she is, and depressed with "not having someone." I said I was depressed and lonely too, which she laughed at and called me a liar.
3. A friend was having a birthday party at a bar, and she wanted me to go with her. We went, barely saw the friend and explored a few bars together. She kept saying we were going to "find you a girlfriend." We both said we had a good time, and it would be the "first of many," etc. (this was after I told her prior girl dumped me on my birthday).
4. Apparently she met another guy at a club prior to us going out. When friends at work mentioned him around me, she told them to "hush" and stop it. He lives further, and from the Facebook he's not a bad looking guy. The night after us going to the club, she went to a waterpark with him, posted pics online of them together then quickly took them off. Now she only has ones of me and her out at the club up..?
5. A few days ago she was sick and I brought her food. We ended up talking on the couch for like 4 hours, I started getting sleepy and cuddled a bit and rubbed her leg. She seemed ok with it?
6. Hinted about us going to the movies this week/today (I work, I offered to call in but she said on our days off instead).
7. On facebook she posted vaguely about having to make tough decisions. In the comments she mentioned it's more so trying to find the "right one," - then someone said it was ok to not discuss, wished her goodluck and that it was a personal love life issue (I think a family member).
So, all together I feel like I'm in highschool. She's mid 20s, and I'm pretty sure going through the "dating a lot" phase.
I have a crush on her, and would love to know wtf is happening so I could move on.
So I was deciding:
I could tell her "I have a crush on you.." see what her reply is, then if it's vague ask her what's going on, and that I'd like to stop hanging out if there's nothing there.
Or I could go to her place again, try cuddling some more and see what happens. Maybe throw a boob grab in there.
She called drinking beer and reading a book "boring" so I'm kind of slightly turned off...
Tell her exactly how you feel. You can't make any of the shots you don't take.
Worst case scenario (which isnt bad at all), she tells you she just wants to be friends. And that would be no different than what you have today. Best case is she admits she likes you too and then you guys can build upon that.
Best to get either out of the way as soon as possible. You'll feel better either way.
First off, since this is your co-worker, you need to proceed with EXTRA caution, if at all. Yes, some relationships start because people meet at work. But some people also manage to ruin their work situation because of getting involved when it wasn't a good idea. Also think about whether you'll want to go to work every day if, say, you guys dated for awhile and then she dumps you. Or whether you'll want to deal with it if you guys broke up, she got uncomfortable and started making complaints about you. Or whether you'll want to deal with it if all the personal stuff about you starts getting spread around in the break room, all through the lens of you guys having dated and broken up--so not in a good light. Who knows what would happen... but this is one reason caution needs to be exercised before pursuing a co-worker.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEarthBeneathMe
I could tell her "I have a crush on you.." see what her reply is, then if it's vague ask her what's going on, and that I'd like to stop hanging out if there's nothing there.
That comes across as passive-aggressive. If you don't like her enough to hang out with her, just stop. And, if that's true, why date her in the first place? If you like her as more than a friend, ask her out. Definitely DON'T say, "I'd like to stop hanging out with you if there's nothing there," because that's very awkward. If you want to stop hanging out, just stop. Like be "busy."
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEarthBeneathMe
Or I could go to her place again, try cuddling some more and see what happens. Maybe throw a boob grab in there.
Terrible idea. Is that what you really want spread around at work? That she came over "just to hang out" and you grabbed her boob? If you are going to make a move, it needs to be something less sexual--holding hands, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEarthBeneathMe
She called drinking beer and reading a book "boring" so I'm kind of slightly turned off...
If you guys don't have much in common, it may not be worth the risk of pursuing a co-worker. Out of everything you listed, I'm not seeing anything terribly convincing. So I would proceed cautiously.
Talked with another coworker, apparently she's dating a female coworkers brother.
They said she is really lonely, and I may just be a safe person to talk with.
She's been snap chatting me a lot and said she missed me, so idk.
Ill probably just leave her alone and cont with my book series.
Sent from my galaxy s3
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