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The more I think about it, the more I think it depends (for me) on the other person. For example, this girl has spent her entire life being hurt by just about everyone in every way imaginable and as a result she has a mountain of issues, so it was excruciating knowing I was going to be yet another person to hurt her, and there was no way to avoid it. If she was a normal, mentally stable person who hadn't been abused so many times I don't think it would have bothered me so much, because I'd feel confident that it wouldn't bother her so much.
Silly question - being hurt of course...few feel the pain of another. Having viewed the last few girlfriends that my youngest son was involved with I did see some characteristics that were perverse in one particular young woman. She seemed to get great satisfaction in causing emotional pain in others..it was perverse. I was worried that this first great love of his might give him a bad out look on love and woman in general. People that hurt a lover can cause damage and create a sad situation that carries on to the next lover of the person they hurt. If you see for ego's sake or just plain sadism - someone who even remotely gets pleasure in harming another person - should be avoided like the plague.
For those of you who claim you would hurt more if you hurt someone else, I guarantee you they still hurt worse than you do. Your guilt does not compare to their sense of inadequacy and betrayal.
I dont think its that people believe they hurt more by hurting someone else necessarily. For me its just the selflessness of not wanting to hurt someone you care about at all. I would rather myself get hurt on a magnitude of 7 than my gf hurt on a magnitude of 4. I have seen her hurt and it's something I never want to experience again. While it showed me her true maturity, seeing her hide her hurt is a terrible thing.
Anyone who thinks he is hurting more than the person he dumped is just too full of himself.
Oh sure, and I wouldn't necessarily claim that. With the incident that prompted me to start this thread, the very reason it hurt me so much was because I knew how painful it would be to her. She's going to hurt from it more than me, but I'd rather be dumped myself than have to hurt her, because I know I could handle it and I have reason to believe she can't.
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