Can an ugly and quiet man make himself charismatic to women? (how to, calling)
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As you have seen, when you are involved with something you really care about, it can bring out the life in you.
Is there something your REALLY like to do for fun or as a helper?
Well, I ain't exactly the zest of life. But I am happiest when I am gardening, fishing, cooking, eating, and listening to people share their tales. I also like a good book and a good game of chess.
The thing is, I am not exactly good at making friends, only keeping them
Growing up, I got told by my father that I was BORN to be ugly. It's hasn't been exactly easy getting confidence in myself.
That says a lot about HIM, inside and out.
I would suggest taking one of the things you just listed, like cooking, and take a class. The goal is not really to bag a woman but to practice relaxing and being your best self. Of course, the bottom-dwellers soon will arrive to tell you otherwise, but based there IS value in just being a decent human.
Anyway, cooking classes are good because they require participation and action. It's easier to interact with people in those classes, and then you can practice conversation centered on an obvious topic.
Do you want to appeal to women, or only to one woman, the one who is most compatible with you and will make you happiest long term?
If it's only one, is the the woman of your dreams someone who chooses a mate based on charisma?
If not, what does she choose based on? What does she value most about you? ('Cause you know she values you very highly... after all she is the most compatible woman for you .)
Well, I ain't exactly the zest of life. But I am happiest when I am gardening, fishing, cooking, eating, and listening to people share their tales. I also like a good book and a good game of chess.
All the things in the first sentence go together. They remind me of those movies that came out whenever, 10 years ago or something, about people falling in love over food. The central character was a cook. I see you entertaining friends over the dinner table, a meal you've cooked yourself with ingredients you've grown in your garden. You're happy, relaxed, and glowing, because you're in your element: the kitchen and the dinner table, among a small group of friends. You're facilitating everyone enjoying themselves. You're sharing a story about a fishing trip in the wilderness, and they're sharing vacation stories. Or everyone's sharing recipes. Your guests are enchanted with this wonderful evening you've conjured, including one special guest that you invited and have your eye on.
The crystal ball now dims. Your future is in your hands.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 07-30-2013 at 08:33 PM..
I am good with things, but not really good with most people.
To be frank, I can't entertain for **** and I've been told that I am "too serious".
The one woman that gave me a chance (and I am not really good at getting chances) a few years ago quit dating me because there was no chemistry.
Can any strangers here point the way to light someone's spark enough to maybe find a soulmate down the road? I think I am at the age where I want to settle down and start a family. I lighten up a lot when my nephews visit, and I think having a family is what I want.
Talk to women and talk a lot. When you are at the cash register....start up a conversation. When you are at the gym....start up a conversation. The more that you get out of your shell and start talking to people and asking questions....the better you will be.
Don't even try to generate a relationship. Just work on your conversation skills.
Due to the fact that you are physically at a disadvantage.....You are going to have to step up your
"mouth game". Trust me when I say.....it can be done. Plenty of women out here that will give a guy a chance
even if he is not the best looking dude.
Focus on developing your conversation skills and I guarantee you that you will start to attract more women and FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF.
Do you want to appeal to women, or only to one woman, the one who is most compatible with you and will make you happiest long term?
If it's only one, is the the woman of your dreams someone who chooses a mate based on charisma?
If not, what does she choose based on? What does she value most about you? ('Cause you know she values you very highly... after all she is the most compatible woman for you .)
Well, to be honest, I don't know what woman is compatible with me. And I don't know on what I will be chosen for. All I know is that I have put myself out there and I have to learn to communicate better, because that's what relationships are all about. I am a bit shy and not confident around women on a romantic level.
I am good with things, but not really good with most people.
To be frank, I can't entertain for **** and I've been told that I am "too serious".
The one woman that gave me a chance (and I am not really good at getting chances) a few years ago quit dating me because there was no chemistry.
Can any strangers here point the way to light someone's spark enough to maybe find a soulmate down the road? I think I am at the age where I want to settle down and start a family. I lighten up a lot when my nephews visit, and I think having a family is what I want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Repulsive
I am just being honest. I ain't no Casanova who is the fantasy of many women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Repulsive
Well, I ain't exactly the zest of life. But I am happiest when I am gardening, fishing, cooking, eating, and listening to people share their tales. I also like a good book and a good game of chess.
The thing is, I am not exactly good at making friends, only keeping them
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Repulsive
Growing up, I got told by my father that I was BORN to be ugly. It's hasn't been exactly easy getting confidence in myself.
Okay, Growing up, I was bullied by my father. He made it a point to tell me that I am a fat slop every day of my life for a good chunk of my childhood. Of course that would shoot down my confidence throughout all of childhood and a little into my adulthood.
It took me until age 28 to realize that it only matters as much as it matters to you. I would probably say that being too serious is your obstacle. Fortunately, there are tons of serious minded women that you can pick from.
I myself am not a very joyful, energetic type. (despite what many people say about me). I've also had women tell me that I am handsome. Some even act surprised by the fact. (I'm often hiding under a hat which I often have cover my face just below the eyebrows. I love the reaction I get when they see me without the hat and my hair done nicely)
Whatever it is that is bothering you, do the best you can to take care of it. If you are overweight, lose a little weight. Maybe get yourself in shape. Whatever the problem is, you should address it.
Talk to women and talk a lot. When you are at the cash register....start up a conversation. When you are at the gym....start up a conversation. The more that you get out of your shell and start talking to people and asking questions....the better you will be.
I couldn't endorse this more! Great post, the whole thing.
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Great post, the whole thing.
