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It's true that you don't have to be in a relationship to have and enjoy sex, but I think that jilla was touching on the idea that a lot of the younger guys have on this board that women don't want sex and dole it out as a reward or a payment. They talk about sex as something that a woman gives a man, not something that they share together. Women want sex, but most women want sex with a man who likes and respects her (regardless of whether she just met him or they've been married for years.)
I see that on these boards, too.
It's obvious to me that a number of the younger guys here are desperate just to get off, willing to dip into whatever well opens up for them first, and wouldn't give a rat's patootie if the woman just laid there. (So maybe that's the kind of woman they end up with, the kind who uses sex as currency or a weapon, thus creating a self-perpetuating cycle.) Most men with an ounce of maturity and experience don't want that. They want to be with a woman who is just as enthusiastic about the experience as they are, not only because they see women as human beings and partners and equals in the activity whose satisfaction is just as important as their own, but also because they know that makes for better sex overall, whether it's part of a relationship or not.
I thought she was criticizing sex as a form of currency.
perhaps we are saying the same thing. I'm just saying that our younger generation sees "carefree" sex without the same social stigma it once held. Words like b*tches, wh*re, and sl*t aren't even as offensive as they once were, even amoung younger women.
Take a look at Farrah Abramson that went from Teen Mom to $1M pornstar without any scorn or stigma. How about the Sydney Leathers who was Anthony Weiner's "sexless mistress", she is already meeting porn producers to cash in, and no big deal.
I think it's an interesting development that younger women are embracing sex in the same emotionaless manner guys can, but based on experience, few women can stomach that for very long, they're just biologically wired differently from men.
perhaps we are saying the same thing. I'm just saying that our younger generation sees "carefree" sex without the same social stigma it once held. Words like b*tches, wh*re, and sl*t aren't even as offensive as they once were, even amoung younger women.
For one thing, those words do still carry a lot of weight. Maybe not as much as before, in that best buds can joke around with each other and call each other beyotches. But one major issue for feminists is zlut-shaming.
It seems that you want those words to be a modern form of scarlet letter. Sorry, no, we're not going back to that. There is nothing wrong with female sexuality, or women enjoying sex for sex's sake. Women who enjoy sex for sex's sake should not be labeled with filthy names and treated as social outcasts. I suggest you worry about your own genitalia and stay out of everyone else's beds and business.
It's obvious to me that a number of the younger guys here are desperate just to get off, willing to dip into whatever well opens up for them first, and wouldn't give a rat's patootie if the woman just laid there. (So maybe that's the kind of woman they end up with, the kind who uses sex as currency or a weapon, thus creating a self-perpetuating cycle.)
Not unlike how some guys sl*t-shame the women who they deem to have had too much sex, then complain when they end up in relationships with the "good" girls who aren't really into doing it that often.
For one thing, those words do still carry a lot of weight. Maybe not as much as before, in that best buds can joke around with each other and call each other beyotches. But one major issue for feminists is zlut-shaming.
It seems that you want those words to be a modern form of scarlet letter. Sorry, no, we're not going back to that. There is nothing wrong with female sexuality, or women enjoying sex for sex's sake. Women who enjoy sex for sex's sake should not be labeled with filthy names and treated as social outcasts. I suggest you worry about your own genitalia and stay out of everyone else's beds and business.
haha I hope you weren't referring to me, because I completely agree with you and thought the same of OP's concerns.
I agree with your first three points, but not this one. Love or a relationship is not needed to share a sexual experience that is not one of your first three. It can simply by mutually enjoyable without any ulterior or negative intentions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
It's true that you don't have to be in a relationship to have and enjoy sex, but I think that jilla was touching on the idea that a lot of the younger guys have on this board that women don't want sex and dole it out as a reward or a payment. They talk about sex as something that a woman gives a man, not something that they share together. Women want sex, but most women want sex with a man who likes and respects her (regardless of whether she just met him or they've been married for years.)
You know, you bring up a good point TaoistDude... I didn't even think of that. And you are right. I was pretty much thinking along the lines that fleetiebelle pointed out.
Not unlike how some guys sl*t-shame the women who they deem to have had too much sex, then complain when they end up in relationships with the "good" girls who aren't really into doing it that often.
I'm convinced that for a lot of those guys, they're just threatened by a woman who has had more sexual partners than they have. I think they are too deep into their own heads and probably spend an inordinate amount of time wondering how they measure up, both literally and figuratively, to the other men she has known. That, to me, is dang near Freudian in its ego-centricity.
It's also pretty douchey and immature.
Oops, I guess that was shaming. Is there such a thing as douche-shaming? I wonder.
It's obvious to me that a number of the younger guys here are desperate just to get off, willing to dip into whatever well opens up for them first, and wouldn't give a rat's patootie if the woman just laid there. (So maybe that's the kind of woman they end up with, the kind who uses sex as currency or a weapon, thus creating a self-perpetuating cycle.) Most men with an ounce of maturity and experience don't want that. They want to be with a woman who is just as enthusiastic about the experience as they are, not only because they see women as human beings and partners and equals in the activity whose satisfaction is just as important as their own, but also because they know that makes for better sex overall, whether it's part of a relationship or not.
It is not just the men that play this game. There are not too many, and they are obnoxious and get banned pretty quick. But you definitely see women on here, and definitely in life, who barter sex for marriage, money...
Sex is not something you get from someone, it's not something they give to you nor something you take or are owed. Sex is a shared experience that you have with another. Get over this selfish mindset if you actually want to form connections in your life.
Yep, that is the obstacle for many people, even those that are supposedly successful with women.
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