need help dont wanna lose my fiance...!!!!!!!!LOVE2009

[Chowhound]

When it comes to children the truth is the best answer.

The "no" vote always wins.......... Kids need to be wanted and for the right reasons.

If that necessitates you breaking up with him, please do it... don't have kids for the wrong reasons...

[kitkatbar]

Originally Posted by SingleMommy40881

im sorry i should have been more clear i do want more just not NOW!! i wanna get financially stable first but he doesnt seem to think its a problem.

Then be honest with him and set up specific goals. Like, I want to have a child with you, but I want us to be in a better financial position first. I want us to have xyz amount saved first, and I want us to be married. (Or whatever would make you feel comfortable and ready.)

Both of you should be ready to take this step. On the flip side of that, since you guys have already been together for 4-5 years, he may feel you're just dragging it out indefinitely. Having specific steps in place so it doesn't feel like such a moving target may help.

[steelstress]

Originally Posted by SingleMommy40881

im sorry i should have been more clear i do want more just not NOW!! i wanna get financially stable first but he doesnt seem to think its a problem.

Tell him since it's a problem for one of you, it's a problem for both of you. Now...what's your plan to make it happen? Don't have one? Good! Now you tell him to help you formulate a plan so you can make this happen. Work on it together! This way he knows you're not saying no, and you're trying to find a way to say yes!