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its a character attack against men, it stigmatizes them based on some female "feeling" about the guy's "creep" status, such as not attractive. like "he looks like a rapist" too.
honestly, there is really nothing a guy can do about it, just like when men call women wh*res and c*nts.... so do that when you think it was unfairly used against you. at least it will make her think twice next time she does it.
LOL are you serious? You honestly think that using derogatory names in the presence of a woman will make her think twice about her behavior? Actually, it's more likely to make her think you're an a-hole.
If a woman is obviously turned-off by a man's actions and the man refuses to acknowledge her "signs", he's creepy. (Clues: she's rolling her eyes, she's not speaking, she's not making eye contact, she never calls you, she tells you she's not interested. All classic signs that SHE'S NOT INTERESTED).
If a man asks if a woman is interested in him and she says no and he proceeds to try to convince her why she should be interested in him, he's creepy.
If a man and woman are on a date and he decides it's a good idea to talk about strippers, porn or how lucky he is not to have any STDs, he's creepy. He's elevated to "rapist" or "possible serial killer" status if he does these things and still thinks there's a chance for second date.
Every single time I have that "feeling" I am 100% right.
LOL are you serious? You honestly think that using derogatory names in the presence of a woman will make her think twice about her behavior? Actually, it's more likely to make her think you're an a-hole.
so i gather being called c*nt in front of your friends wont phase you. glad to hear it, sounds you dont have a problem with public shame, probably toughen up after so many guys hitting on you or you've matured where you can now handle it at your age. again, and as i think of said several times in this thread, i fully support creep alert for any legitimate safety concerns. it's the abuse of using it in the guys presence for no apparent reason other than "bug off, i'm not interested", like "go away creep". if that doesn't apply to you, great.
as far as a-hole status, it's wouldnt be surprised of being called that in response and almost expect it, but minor compare to being called a creep in front of group of folks you dont know, whether it's with your bff, click, or entourage. i know it's your instinct and am not suggesting at all that you disregard it, but there is also a human being on the receiving end that may not understand why his is being called a "potential rapist"/stalker (which is what the word creep suggests) and had no bad motive other than want to say hello. i am just saying to use it responsibly. just treat ppl like you want to be treated.
im sure you wouldn't appreciate some random guy calling you a heinous insulting name for just being nearby or in response to your "no thanks, i'm not interested". ppl need to be civil to one another, especially in public places where it is a given that you may meet someone new. and, yeah, if you feel uneasy, just do what you did before they invented the word creep. it's not like men approaching women who do they think may be interested is a new phenomenon.
If a man asks if a woman is interested in him and she says no and he proceeds to try to convince her why she should be interested in him, he's creepy.
I don't feel that initial persistence automatically makes a man creepy. Some guys just accept the fact that women reject most men so they know they have to do a bit of selling. I guess I find that it takes a bit more than that to make me feel uneasy. That's not to say that persistence isn't a creepy behavior sometimes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tish Thompson
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If a man and woman are on a date and he decides it's a good idea to talk about strippers, porn or how lucky he is not to have any STDs, he's creepy. He's elevated to "rapist" or "possible serial killer" status if he does these things and still thinks there's a chance for second date.
I guess it would depend on the context of the discussion when it comes to strippers, porn and STDs. If he's telling me how often he visits strip clubs and about his favorite porn stars & websites, then yeah, I'll assume he's not well in the head...or at least not good with women. LOL
so i gather being called c*nt in front of your friends wont phase you. glad to hear it, sounds you dont have a problem with public shame, probably toughen up after so many guys hitting on you or you've matured where you can now handle it at your age. again, and as i think of said several times in this thread, i fully support creep alert for any legitimate safety concerns. it's the abuse of using it in the guys presence for no apparent reason other than "bug off, i'm not interested", like "go away creep". if that doesn't apply to you, great.
Unfortunately, those words are often tossed at women just for rejection/lack of interest regardless of how she did it. I used to see it all the time in clubs, especially if the guy had his group of buddies near by. And as the previous poster stated, being called a derogatory name doesn't shame us. It just makes the man look classless and only validates the woman's initial rejection.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nokiddin
im sure you wouldn't appreciate some random guy calling you a heinous insulting name for just being nearby or in response to your "no thanks, i'm not interested". ...
I was thinking about this topic the other day and the availability and technical ability to "be" creepy has increased dramatically - for both sexes. My previous perception was that guys were the obvious instigators of creepiness with sending inappropriate photos, exposing themselves, or just being rude and crude.
Now this is just one example, but it caused me to think that times may be changing and the "creepiness" factor may just be an equal opportunity thing and women are catching up to guys. I was talking to a 45 year old friend at a party late this week. He is recently single, good looking and charismatic. He broke his leg pretty badly in a bike accident and was at the hospital for a few days. No less than 4 women who he casually knows at work, church, or through his kids activities texted him get well messages with explicit photographs of their breasts, and one woman showed her...artistic creativity in shaving shall we say.
All the men who viewed the photos guffawed and slapped him on the back...until I said, 'what if this was your daughter sending the photos, or what if your daughter was in the hospital and guys were sending pictures of their junk?'. It took everyone by surprise and I think gave them a different view point. What gets me is that this guy was showing these photos to other guys, who know these women...do these women think that sharing these photos is a private moment thing or are they conscious that guys will display these photos to others?..who may know them?
Another situation which took me by complete surprise happened earlier this week as well. I was having a very busy moment in my office when one of my administrative assistants came into my office after her lunch break and showed me this enormous purse she bought during lunch. As she moved around my office with this gigantic bag over her shoulder she said "is it too big for me?" Not really having time for chit-chat, and definitely not being a fashion expert, I said in complete innocence "How big it is, and how it fits you, is for you to determine, not me". We talked for a minute more about business stuff and I gave her some assignments to do, and she left. I found out later that she was asking others if I had made other 'crude' sexual innuendo remarks like that to them...needless to say I was dumbfounded and immediately talked to her to say I meant nothing crude by it and am always VERY careful in how I talk to my co-workers. I also documented the conversation in email to my superiors just to protect myself. It just goes to show that even though you're careful, an unthinking remark can be misconstrued by someone as rude and crude.
In closing, my favorite "oh my gosh, someone is really that creepy?" story is...We get a lot of sexual harassment training at work. HR reps talk to us supervisors about examples that have happened at work to learn from. One story is an administrative assistant was kneeling and bent over a file cabinet drawer sorting files...and displaying a 'plumbers crack' to everyone behind her. A supervisor who she barely knew approached her from behind (she didn't know he was there), stuck his finger in his mouth wetting it...and proceeded to shove his long wet cold finger down the crack of her butt. Her surprise was so complete she bolted straight up, causing her belt and pants to tighten on his finger, dislocating it at the knuckle. Kind of hard to deny the situation with a black-and-blue swollen index finger.
Perhaps some of you guys should watch this for some perspective. It's funny, sad, and true
Should women ignore the truth to make men feel better? If a woman gets killed or assaulted 9 times out of 10 it was a man that did it. These guys trying to find an equivalent to the creepy guy with the stalker woman are missing the mark. It's not cool to be stalked or deal with a clingy woman who likes to play head games but the actual potential for death, kidnapping, or rape from a woman to a man is minimal. A man might be annoyed but 9 times out of 10 his life is not at risk. Only the most extreme crazy woman is dangerous to a man. The Jodi Arias of this world are rare birds and that is why some men don't get it.
It's always risky to allow a new man into your life and those who feel like women are too rigid about their safety only feel that way because it limits access to the booty. So they don't care about how a woman feels about their safety because it's all about them and what they need which is easy access to a piece of booty.
My advice to my daughter is to not let a dude guilt-trip her into compromising her safety and to always follow her instincts. We have them for a reason.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mitopcat
I couldn't finish watching this. If there was anymore reason to kill myself just because I'm a guy, there is this.
I wish I was able to choose in the birth canal, "Do you want to be a man or a women?"
I don't know what possesses males to be that way, but think about cases in which men who were coaches, etc., turn out to be Pedophiles or the guy in the neighborhood, who was said to "be such a nice guy". We just do not know, but I think if one gets an instinct about another, they shouldn't ignore it.
Once while in the market, I happened to get the sense about a 30-ish guy who I kept seeing walking around, without a basket.. but it was something about his demeanor as he would go by, i would sense something, enough to actually bother me. He didn't appear to be shopping and most people at least make eye contact or look "normal" for a shopper, but besides that, whatever it was, I felt a creepy vibe, but I am unusual in sensing things.
It is just a word. I use creepy to describe behavior of not only men, women who do strange things which I do not understand.
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