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Met someone through a mutual friend. This person is gorgeous and way out of my league in the looks department, if that helps you classify people, but I went for it anyway. Also attracted to this person because of their apparent intelligence and education - Graduate degree. I like smart people
So we go on three dates. On all three dates the conversation revolved around 4 things, and 4 things only: 1. Working out 2.Country music and their country music band (I don't care for country too much) 3. How bad things were in Chicago (previous place lived) and 4. Bad relationship with family.
I was nearly bored to tears on the last date and couldn't get home fast enough. It killed all attraction I had.
Yes, looks do frequently attract people, draw them in. But there has GOT to be more to the package if there is any relationship potential.
I am not saying this to mean, or to point out someone else's flaws - I am flawed myself and I know it! But you can be as good looking as the day is long, but if you can't carry on a decent conversation, you only talk about yourself, you focus on negativity, you can't/won't intelligently discuss a variety of subjects or try to find shared interests your looks don't matter.
I would say its true; once the attraction part has already presented itself and has gain your interest. But if this person was a fugly chicken head, I can bet you'd not even go on a date. So, enough of this look doesn't matter nonsense. It does matter.
The title of your thread should have been "Looks don't matter once a minimum level of attractiveness is met." That's all you've proven in your story. Youre admitting looks matter. Personality matters too, but personality is USELESS if there is zero physical attraction. The people complaining on this board about looks are people who are too below average that they can't attract the opposite sex, no matter how awesome their personality.
Last edited by sharpie99; 09-03-2013 at 05:36 AM..
I don't care how smart a girl is, If she's ugly she's cut. Sounds rough but I deal with real life. Both people in a relationship have to feel good about what they look like and be somewhat balanced or the insecurity will ruin the relationship. Even if the better looking person says " baby stop, you know I love only you" ....that **** don't work.
I'd love to say that "gorgeous people" corner the market on crappy personalities but they simply don't. Plenty of "ugly people" giving them a run for their money.
So if you're going to date someone who has a crappy personality anyway, they might as well be gorgeous.
I will admit that it's dejecting when someone gorgeous ends up having a bad personality though.
(Oh, and by the way, "intelligent" never makes up for a combination of ugly + crappy personality.)
Met someone through a mutual friend. This person is gorgeous and way out of my league in the looks department, if that helps you classify people, but I went for it anyway. Also attracted to this person because of their apparent intelligence and education - Graduate degree. I like smart people
So we go on three dates. On all three dates the conversation revolved around 4 things, and 4 things only: 1. Working out 2.Country music and their country music band (I don't care for country too much) 3. How bad things were in Chicago (previous place lived) and 4. Bad relationship with family.
I was nearly bored to tears on the last date and couldn't get home fast enough. It killed all attraction I had.
Yes, looks do frequently attract people, draw them in. But there has GOT to be more to the package if there is any relationship potential.
I am not saying this to mean, or to point out someone else's flaws - I am flawed myself and I know it! But you can be as good looking as the day is long, but if you can't carry on a decent conversation, you only talk about yourself, you focus on negativity, you can't/won't intelligently discuss a variety of subjects or try to find shared interests your looks don't matter.
B.S! If thee guy wasn't attractive he wouldn't even have gotten three dates.
the title of your thread should have been "looks don't matter once a minimum level of attractiveness is met." that's all you've proven in your story. Youre admitting looks matter. Personality matters too, but personality is useless if there is zero physical attraction. The people complaining on this board about looks are people who are too below average that they can't attract the opposite sex, no matter how awesome their personality.
The title of your thread should have been "Looks don't matter once a minimum level of attractiveness is met." That's all you've proven in your story. Youre admitting looks matter. Personality matters too, but personality is USELESS if there is zero physical attraction. The people complaining on this board about looks are people who are too below average that they can't attract the opposite sex, no matter how awesome their personality.
I have no idea how people can just not understand the bold section. You can say all the right things and meet all their criteria, but if they have no physical attraction to you, than you're just another good catch. Good catch is the term used when you have all the right qualities, but they are just not physically attracted to you. If she's not coming out and saying you're hot, sexy, handsome, or good looking, then she doesn't have the physical attraction she feels necessary to pursue something with you.
You don't have to be hot, but you do have to turn her on. Just like for a lot of guys, you don't have to be hot, but we do have to be turned on.
Looks don't matter to women as much as men insist that they matter.
Anybody watch Burn Notice? Jeffrey Donovan is smokin' hot even though he has a weak chin, stick-out ears, a dumpy shaped face, and piggy eyes. He is not a handsome man.
But then you see an episode where he plays a scared accountant with an asthma inhaler? Not many women would give that character the time of day.
Exact same guy, exact same look, different behavior. It's not his looks; it is how he is acting and the confidence.
Guys, I will give you the flip side, though. Many men don't seem to use anything but looks to evaluate a woman. But just because you do it that way does not mean that women do it that way.
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