Help regarding boyfriend who is a sex/porn addict! (loving, emotional, feminist)
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...was now into more hardcore stuff like M-to-F transsexuals and gang bang-type/BDSM porn. H
...he was back to the old Dom
A boyfriend named Dom into BDSM. Well, if that doesn't beat all.
Sorry but I can only make bad puns because he sounds like a joke, himself.
You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Get rid of him. There's a whole world of wonderful people out there who don't have his issues.
Porn/sex addiction has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with CONTROL. Women in porn are controlled by the men, abused by the men. It's all about his need to control the people around him, including you.
If you had a daughter who was dating a man like this, what advice would you give her? I'm guessing you would tell her to find another man to love. He is not right, and you know it. Otherwise you would not be here and you would not be trying to get him to see a psychologist for his problem.
]Porn/sex addiction has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with CONTROL. Women in porn are controlled by the men, abused by the men. It's all about his need to control the people around him, including you[/b].
If you had a daughter who was dating a man like this, what advice would you give her? I'm guessing you would tell her to find another man to love. He is not right, and you know it. Otherwise you would not be here and you would not be trying to get him to see a psychologist for his problem.
20yrsinBranson
Oh please, what a bunch of propaganda. So how about the huge gay porn industry? Stick to the facts, not after-the-fact feminist dogma and women's studies PhD theses. Monkeys watch and are fascinated monkey porn in laboratory-tested situations. How suprising. Its a base instinct for primates.
Anyhoo, just switch off this guy and move on. It ain't gonna change for him, it would require a huge amount of therpy and him wanting to change, which deep down he does not.
There is no help for you, because you won't listen. At your age you think you are smart enough to make your own decisions, you are not. If you were you would know by now you will never be able to change your boyfriend, he will be dysfunctional for the rest of his life. If you don't wake up and get away from him, he will drag down with him...
Porn/sex addiction has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with CONTROL. Women in porn are controlled by the men, abused by the men. It's all about his need to control the people around him, including you.
If you had a daughter who was dating a man like this, what advice would you give her? I'm guessing you would tell her to find another man to love. He is not right, and you know it. Otherwise you would not be here and you would not be trying to get him to see a psychologist for his problem.
20yrsinBranson
Well technically, we don't know if he is sub or dom, so it might be the opposite.
Seriously.... his NAME is Dom?! Well doesn't that make the whole thing suspiciously questionable.
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I want to thank everyone for responding. You all made some very valid points which have had me thinking deeply about my life since yesterday.
Dominic called me this morning from a rehab center in Aspen, CO. Apparently, he's been there since Sunday morning and was unable to call me because of the rules in the facility. He shared that when I rejected him he had a strong desire to take me against my will but resisted with the little shred of restraint that he had left. We both agreed that he is not ready to be in a relationship and he plans to take the next few months undergoing intensive therapy to work on himself. I told him I will remain as a friend and visit or speak to him if he needs me but I will no longer be in a romantic relationship with him...which he is processing right now.
I want to thank the folks that recommended the support groups; I plan to attend one of the groups in the next few days. I also spoke to "Dom's" psychiatrist and she recommended someone who I can see through this difficult time. I am still struggling with letting my folks know about the extent of his problems...and I think that's probably the biggest challenge. But I will get there.
Please try to read this with an open mind as the situation is pretty unorthodox.
I am at my wit's end wondering what to do about the situation but cannot talk to anyone in my inner circle because they all believe that he walks on water and I don't want to disillusion them. I know that he loves me very much and is a great guy all around but his escalating addiction to porn/sex is very concerning to me as he is not himself when he relapses.
I have an appointment to see his psychiatrist for advice on Friday but I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation or has advice for me.
Thanks.
If you continue on with this man be prepared for some great pain...if not physical, most definitely emotional. I think you are making yourself very vulnerable to this man, and I'm wondering why?...would you risk your life , and remain faithful to a growing violent porn freak?, cause that's where I think he's heading...be careful...if you must stay with him...watch out...never believe what an addict says about his/her addiction...cause they lie...
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