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Can a couple be compatible if one likes to drink alcohol and the other person does not? Can a relationship last over the long haul if one person is mildly dependent on drinking alcohol to unwind after work where as the other person isn't dependent on drinking alcohol at all?
Also, if a person drinks a whole bottle of wine after work, say, once or twice a week, and this has been over a number of years, is that person considered an alcoholic/closet alcoholic?
Can a couple be compatible if one likes to drink alcohol and the other person does not? Can a relationship last over the long haul if one person is mildly dependent on drinking alcohol to unwind after work where as the other person isn't dependent on drinking alcohol at all?
Also, if a person drinks a whole bottle of wine after work, say, once or twice a week, and this has been over a number of years, is that person considered an alcoholic/closet alcoholic?
I think dependency rather than amount of alcohol is what makes one an alcoholic. I wouldn't advise drinking awhile bottle of wine every night but I wouldn't automatically assume someone who did was an acoholic. There was a point in my like a few years ago when I'd down an entire six pack of beer every night after work. One night I realized I only had a light buzz and realized if I only had a buzz after drinking six beers in just about two hours I should reign it in. Now I limit myself to 2 or 3 (4 if the Broncos are playing like crap). I never considered myself an alcoholic even in my heavier drinking days because I could go without it or scale back.
Now the affect on a relationship can be detrimental. Like anything else, boundaries and expectations are important. Alcohol can control a person of you're not careful, and if that's the case even a well-meaning partner may struggle in his or her relationship obligations if they are struggling with an alcohol problem.
Can a couple be compatible if one likes to drink alcohol and the other person does not?
Can a relationship last over the long haul if one person is mildly dependent on drinking alcohol to unwind after work where as the other person isn't dependent on drinking alcohol at all?
Also, if a person drinks a whole bottle of wine after work, say, once or twice a week, and this has been over a number of years, is that person considered an alcoholic/closet alcoholic?
Can a couple be compatible if one likes to drink alcohol and the other person does not? Can a relationship last over the long haul if one person is mildly dependent on drinking alcohol to unwind after work where as the other person isn't dependent on drinking alcohol at all?
Also, if a person drinks a whole bottle of wine after work, say, once or twice a week, and this has been over a number of years, is that person considered an alcoholic/closet alcoholic?
There's quite a bit of difference between liking to drink and being an alcoholic.
It's not how much one drinks but what happens when they do.
If you're very concerned, check out an open Al-Anon meeting.
Alcoholism is based on dependany and the behavior on shows when drinking. Alcoholics cannot usually scale back because the first drink sets into motion having one after the other even if years has elapsed since being sober, Often leading to blackouts. Their are many functional alcoholics who over years are successful despite the dependancy. This often complicates matters because the individual sees the drinking as a reward for succeeding and sees no reason to stop. Until they get a wake up call or health problems set in.
Whether you're an alcoholic doesn't depend on the frequency and volume of your drinking. There is so much variation in drinking habits from person to person.
Some people only drink once a month but get completely tanked when they do.
Some people drink 1 glass of wine a couple times a year.
Some people drink 20 drinks every day but they ration it out so they're operating on a perpetual buzz and they're never actually drunk.
Some people do the above and are incredibly productive; others can't get motivated to anything productive while they're buzzed.
Some people are responsible drinkers but then they have one bad episode where they get overly drunk and decide to drive, resulting in a DUI, resulting in them never letting themself get overly drunk again, thought they continue to drink moderately for the rest of their life.
Some people rack up over 10 DUI's and spend their entire life in periods of heavy drinking followed by vows to quit followed by relapse and so forth.
Some people get overly drunk 9 out of 10 times and have a bad habit of driving, but get lucky enough never to be caught.
Some people go through cycles of zero drinking followed by getting blacked out every day of the week.
Some people have a beer or two every night of the week and then 5 or 6 every Saturday night at the bar with friends.
Some don't drink at all.
Some people go through a few years of drinking heavily and then don't touch alcohol for the rest of their life.
Some people drink excessively their entire college career, but have their life in order enough that they prioritize school and never let their penchant for getting drunk interfere with their academics. They'll get their homework done early so that they can afford to drink in the middle of the week. And after college, they tone it down and get reasonably drunk only on special occasions.
Some people aren't able to balance partying and school, so they live a dysfunctional college career and possibly continue their dysfunctional habits into the real world where they face real consequences.
Some people only drink socially and never to excess, but they have extreme social anxiety and alcohol is a definite crutch for them.
Some people drink alone and socially, for different reason in each situation.
Etcetera.
I agree with Alcoholics Anonymous that "Only you can decide for yourself whether you're an alcoholic." That said, here are some features common among the drinking habits of many self-proclaimed alcoholics who I've met at Alcoholics Anonymous:
Hiding their drinking --- either physically hiding the empty bottles, sneaking extra drinks when they're out drinking with other people, or feeling like they have to understate how much they've drank due to embarrassment.
Feeling like they're never satisfactorily drunk no matter how intoxicated they are.
Blackouts. (Believe it or not, most people have never experienced a blackout. If you think that most people have, that says something about the type of people you hang out with.)
Physical addiction --- feeling antsy and sweaty when you haven't had any alcohol.
Countless resolutions to quit drinking, never able to follow them.
Getting drunk alone.
Feeling depressed, drinking to cover up negative feelings, eventually finding that drinking gets you in an even more depressed and self-pitying mood.
Can a couple be compatible if one likes to drink alcohol and the other person does not? Can a relationship last over the long haul if one person is mildly dependent on drinking alcohol to unwind after work where as the other person isn't dependent on drinking alcohol at all?
Also, if a person drinks a whole bottle of wine after work, say, once or twice a week, and this has been over a number of years, is that person considered an alcoholic/closet alcoholic?
It can easily work, dating a girl who doesn't drink is great because then you always have a DD. Some of it depends on what you're like though, if she's a non drinker and you're going to clubs getting trashed.. well that's not going to work.
If you're having a few beers after work, only a controlling ***** would be against that.
Yes it works, so long as the person drinking isn't an alcoholic.
If you like having a few after work or on the weekends, I don't see a problem with it. If you're getting completely hammered drunk every day, or several times a week, it's not going to work out with anyone.
I think it depends more on the non-drinker than it does the drinker. Me, I can tolerate a beer or two after work or on the weekends, but if you get so wasted I have to clean up after you or take care of you - no. And if your hangovers interfere with the next day's plans - no.
Also, alcoholics can go long stretches without alcohol; however, they usually cannot stop once they start.
If you are asking, this bothers you. Evaluate your feelings about this, and discuss your concerns with your partner. That is the answer.
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