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Hey, I am new to the forums, so I didn't know where to put this, so sorry if it is in the wrong place.
My girlfriend (ex, now) just broke up with me last night. She told me she wasn't happy with us anymore. We have been through a lot, but she told me she didn't want to try to fix things. She also wanted to take a break before we broke up, and I wasn't up for it, because she wanted to "adventure". We always had really good times, we laughed a lot, joked around, and we were truly in love. But she also said I can be annoying at times, and that I am immature. Just last weekend, we went somewhere for Halloween, and we hugged and kissed and cuddled, and it looked like we just began to date. She works 2 different jobs, and goes to college for 4 classes, 2 online, 2 in the school. I am wondering if the cause of her unhappiness was because of the amount of stress put on her. I still really love her, she was the world to me, and this break up just came out of nowhere. We are also going to try being friends. I just want to know, is there any possibility we could get back together through friendship again? I know she still wanted to be with me when we hung out, (the day before she dumped me) because she was starting to cheer up and cuddled with me. So is having a friendship a good idea? And is it possible we can get back together? Thanks.
Hey, I am new to the forums, so I didn't know where to put this, so sorry if it is in the wrong place.
My girlfriend (ex, now) just broke up with me last night. She told me she wasn't happy with us anymore. We have been through a lot, but she told me she didn't want to try to fix things. She also wanted to take a break before we broke up, and I wasn't up for it, because she wanted to "adventure". We always had really good times, we laughed a lot, joked around, and we were truly in love. But she also said I can be annoying at times, and that I am immature. Just last weekend, we went somewhere for Halloween, and we hugged and kissed and cuddled, and it looked like we just began to date. She works 2 different jobs, and goes to college for 4 classes, 2 online, 2 in the school. I am wondering if the cause of her unhappiness was because of the amount of stress put on her. I still really love her, she was the world to me, and this break up just came out of nowhere. We are also going to try being friends. I just want to know, is there any possibility we could get back together through friendship again? I know she still wanted to be with me when we hung out, (the day before she dumped me) because she was starting to cheer up and cuddled with me. So is having a friendship a good idea? And is it possible we can get back together? Thanks.
The answer? No.
First and Only Rule In Severing Relationships: Do it abruptly. You can be nice about it. You can say sweet things. But the kindest thing to do is to simply say, "We're over" and move on. Do not say "We can still be friends" or "Let's take a break from each other," for those are simply lies designed to soften the blow, and instead serve to only prolong hope. Because the worst thing you can do to someone is to break up and yet never leave him alone.
And while the person doing the severing has a duty, the person who is being dumped has a duty to himself, namely to act with dignity. Don't call her at 2 a.m. Don't go cruising past her house. Don't write sappy letters begging for her to come back that you'd cringe at reading five years from now. It's okay to get pissed off and mope around for a week. But for God's sake, man, she's not coming back.
Now, all that being said, time is an ally. For if you start going out with other women, if you don't treat the breakup like the end-all tragedy of your life, and if you don't do all the typical stupid things that get you served with a restraining order, she might actually come back to you in six months or a year, especially if you've gotten yourself straightened out as a person. I'm not saying it's likely, but it is a possibility.
Yes, everything you mentioned could have played a part in the break up, but the most likely answer is she decided to explore her options with others. Yes, you could get back together, but do you want to be her second string instead of someone else's first string?
Sounds like she broke up with you as 'nicely' as she possibly could.
Things like, 'want to adventure' for reason for taking a break stand out to me.
also, the annoying bit.
She is trying to tell you that the relationship isnt working for her, although she may see you as a good person. But regardless, the relationship isnt working anymore for her.
More than likely, she has checked out for a while. This happens a lot. one person is madly in in love, and the other person is thinking about ending it.
Move on OP. With you being so madly in love, you will be best to have space from her. No contact for a couple months. Then maybe? you can try friends....
First and Only Rule In Severing Relationships: Do it abruptly. You can be nice about it. You can say sweet things. But the kindest thing to do is to simply say, "We're over" and move on. Do not say "We can still be friends" or "Let's take a break from each other," for those are simply lies designed to soften the blow, and instead serve to only prolong hope. Because the worst thing you can do to someone is to break up and yet never leave him alone.
And while the person doing the severing has a duty, the person who is being dumped has a duty to himself, namely to act with dignity. Don't call her at 2 a.m. Don't go cruising past her house. Don't write sappy letters begging for her to come back that you'd cringe at reading five years from now. It's okay to get pissed off and mope around for a week. But for God's sake, man, she's not coming back.
Now, all that being said, time is an ally. For if you start going out with other women, if you don't treat the breakup like the end-all tragedy of your life, and if you don't do all the typical stupid things that get you served with a restraining order, she might actually come back to you in six months or a year, especially if you've gotten yourself straightened out as a person. I'm not saying it's likely, but it is a possibility.
Since the break up we haven't really talked. It is just really abrupt, and I am not going to get over her in one day, obviously. I just believe she was very stressed out, and maybe took all the stress from her life and brought it into the relationship. So, ya, I am completely sad, because we always talked about the future and what not, but I plan on hanging with friends next week. So I am leaving her alone, and it is hard, considering she was the only person I really ever texted, and it sucks.
Sounds like she broke up with you as 'nicely' as she possibly could.
Things like, 'want to adventure' for reason for taking a break stand out to me.
also, the annoying bit.
She is trying to tell you that the relationship isnt working for her, although she may see you as a good person. But regardless, the relationship isnt working anymore for her.
More than likely, she has checked out for a while. This happens a lot. one person is madly in in love, and the other person is thinking about ending it.
Move on OP. With you being so madly in love, you will be best to have space from her. No contact for a couple months. Then maybe? you can try friends....
That is what I was thinking. It is just difficult to have that happen, especially since we were having a good time the last few weeks. I just don't know. I poured my heart out to her, but if I screwed up once, she would forget about all the good I ever did. I may sound desperate, but she just did it out of nowhere, and I was doing everything I could to fix this, and it just kind of got thrown out the window.
Being friends with her is a horrible idea. Once a woman loses interest its forever.
If she gets back together with you, it will be for her ego and self-serving. The relationship will be 100% on her terms and you will have no say in anything. Is that the type of relationship you want?
Have some dignity and start dating other girls immediately. You have become too easy, too available and not challenging enough for her.
Hey, I am new to the forums, so I didn't know where to put this, so sorry if it is in the wrong place.
My girlfriend (ex, now) just broke up with me last night. She told me she wasn't happy with us anymore. We have been through a lot, but she told me she didn't want to try to fix things. She also wanted to take a break before we broke up, and I wasn't up for it, because she wanted to "adventure". We always had really good times, we laughed a lot, joked around, and we were truly in love. But she also said I can be annoying at times, and that I am immature. Just last weekend, we went somewhere for Halloween, and we hugged and kissed and cuddled, and it looked like we just began to date. She works 2 different jobs, and goes to college for 4 classes, 2 online, 2 in the school. I am wondering if the cause of her unhappiness was because of the amount of stress put on her. I still really love her, she was the world to me, and this break up just came out of nowhere. We are also going to try being friends. I just want to know, is there any possibility we could get back together through friendship again? I know she still wanted to be with me when we hung out, (the day before she dumped me) because she was starting to cheer up and cuddled with me. So is having a friendship a good idea? And is it possible we can get back together? Thanks.
Ugh, not a pleasant situation. Sounds like she was overwhelmed. If she just wants to screw around with other guys, then, you need to move on, forever. She's not worth it. If she's just burned out from school, work, plus maintaining a relationship, then, who knows, she might come back someday, if she loves you. If she doesn't really love you though, she ain't coming back. I know a few couples who have spent their entire lives in "on again off again" relationships. It's weird but it works for them.
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