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Background info: I have known the man (49 yr old, i'm 43) for about 5 years. He owns a business in the area that I frequent. Whenever I go, we'll say hey and chit chat ...etc. I like him and I'm from the old school where the guy should initiate more. (ask for #/date...)
Well about two or three months ago he did and said he'd give me a call. a month went by and no word, so I thought he just wasn't interested and blew it off. Then one day he saw a friend of mine and told her that he forgot to call me. So about a week later he calls, we went on date and had a great time. He called couple of days later said he had a good time and asked if i'd like to do it again and I said sure. He said "that's the right answer" and he'd call shortly. That was a month ago, no word yet, again.
i'm assuming he's just not that interested. some things he said on our date surprised me though, like when he said "maybe you're the catholic girl I've been waiting for all my life" and later he said "we belong together because we complement each other so well" why would he say these things and screw with my mind/ feelings; when he called after our date he said I could call him if I think of something to do in the mean time. I called day before yesterday, he didn't answer. left voice mail, hasn't returned call. go figure.....
Looking at this from my perspective it would seem the guy has extreme AD/HD b/c that's how they behave sometimes. They really do like you but they seem to have no idea that a month has gone by and they tend to have a hard time picking up the phone. Or they make a date and get the date wrong and he may be stewing over there thinking you forgot the date. I know this sounds farfetched but believe me it's not--I could launch into a long explanation of auditory processing disorder and how they think they heard it but got it all messed up, but I'll desist. I had one friend mad at me b/c he messaged me on facebook and I answered on FB but then he was looking for an email and forgot to check FB. It was quite comical but we got it all straightened out.
If I were you and it was OK with me to be in a relationship with someone with these annoying qualities (it takes a special person) then I think you should reach out but just in case you misread, do it in a friendly way b/c it sounds like you two have at least enough to make a friendship if nothing else. I'd say go wait a few days or a week then go see him at his store so you can read his body language. Play it cool. See what comes of it and then you can stop wondering. If you get it straightened out and it turns out that I'm right, then make sure you text him the date so he has it in writing, rather than making arrangements on the phone.
Same sort of thing happened to me. First date he said let's pray before we eat and he said the prayer. I saw that as a good sign since I am a Christian. He told our server that I was the future Mrs. He also had said we compliment each other so well, isn't this the best date you have ever been on. We went out a few more times then close to two months later he disappeared on me.
What the heck?
I don't get men. He called me out of the blue this summer after 7 months of no contact.
I ended up speaking to him in September. I saw him once this past month to try to give him a second chance but I just don't trust him now.
I hope for your sake things work out better for you. You don't deserve this kind of treatment. I know it hurts.
Hopefully he has a really good explanation for you and that you can work on things.
But if not there is still a great man out there for you.
The man owns and runs a business. He is capable of making a date and keeping it.
He's feeding you lines that have either been successful in the past, or else they are lines that he has been told by other men can be counted on to be successful.. With the long times between contacts, it is possible that he is married, or at least spending his time and energy elsewhere.
OP, if you want an occasional, very rare, casual date, this guy is available for that sort of relationship. If you are looking for a committed relationship, I suggest that you keep looking, because you won't get it with this dude.
Just a suggestion: never accept an empty promise as real emotional currency.
Lucky are those ones who does not know this kind of men.
Men does this for example to get in to her pants, to feed their ego, to gain reputation among friends and to keep handful of women who are ready for services if needed. And there always will be more and better talks to get you back to believe there could be something between you 2.
When once you see his words means nothing, they will never mean. (or if you are the lucky one "he will change" )
Cure: stop believing what men are saying and only believe what you see them doing.
Looking at this from my perspective it would seem the guy has extreme AD/HD b/c that's how they behave sometimes. They really do like you but they seem to have no idea that a month has gone by and they tend to have a hard time picking up the phone. Or they make a date and get the date wrong and he may be stewing over there thinking you forgot the date. I know this sounds farfetched but believe me it's not--I could launch into a long explanation of auditory processing disorder and how they think they heard it but got it all messed up, but I'll desist. I had one friend mad at me b/c he messaged me on facebook and I answered on FB but then he was looking for an email and forgot to check FB. It was quite comical but we got it all straightened out.
If I were you and it was OK with me to be in a relationship with someone with these annoying qualities (it takes a special person) then I think you should reach out but just in case you misread, do it in a friendly way b/c it sounds like you two have at least enough to make a friendship if nothing else. I'd say go wait a few days or a week then go see him at his store so you can read his body language. Play it cool. See what comes of it and then you can stop wondering. If you get it straightened out and it turns out that I'm right, then make sure you text him the date so he has it in writing, rather than making arrangements on the phone.
Seriously? the guy says he 'forgot' to call and you say he must have ADD or auditory processing disorder? Statistically speaking, it is more likely that he is just an ordinary alcoholic, if you really need a reason or excuse for his behavior.
But you don't: He said he would call, he didn't. The OP called, he didn't call back. Doesn't take a diagnosis to understand that, whatever the reason, He Just Isn't That In To You.
Its probably because you didn't put out on the first date
*smack* You are bad! Lol
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